


Cursed | Draco Malfoy,

by Juneekarl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:01:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 71,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29335704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juneekarl/pseuds/Juneekarl
Summary: It's a strange thing. Draco Malfoy wanting someone he can't have, and that's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt." All I know is that he smelled like love, and it consumed me."___A slow-burn Draco Malfoy love story.Trigger warning.This story contains mature content such as violent actions, sexual relationships, abuse, rape, character deaths, suicide attempt, psychological trauma, and foul language.I own Amelie Avery and the plots created by me.But other than that, I do not own any characters or events in this story. All credit goes to J.K Rowling.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	1. W e l c o m e,

**T R I G G E R — W A R N I N G,**

This book contains scenes that may be found triggering to people,

Such as smut, abuse, sexual assault, rape, suicide attempt, psychological trauma, self-harm and character deaths,

Trigger warnings will be put out in the beginnings of the chapters to prepare you for what's about to come,

But it's also, apart from the darkness, truly a beautiful story and I really hope you'll give it a chance,

I love writing this book because it's so different from other fanfics I've read and shines a light on the topics above,

Thank you for being here, and I hope you'll love it as much as I do,

I've been receiving comments and private messages that some of you have lived through a similar relationship to the ones in this book,

I want you all to know that you're not alone and that you are so loved. I'm here for every single one of you, no matter what you may need. Never hesitate to reach out to me,

____________

**Cast,**

**Amelie Avery,** played by - Maia Mitchell.

  
**Theodore Nott,** played by - Lorenzo Zurzolo.

  
**Draco Malfoy,** played by - Tom Felton.

  
**Adrian Pucey,** played by - Scot Fearn.

  
**Hermione Granger,** played by - Emma Watson.

  
**Pansy Parkinson & Blaise Zabini, **played by - Scarlett Byrne & Louis Cordice.

  
**Much love, Juneekarl.**

_I do_ _own Amelie and the plots created by me, but other than that, I do_ _not own any of the characters/events in this book. All credits go to J.K Rowling._ _( aka dobby ofc!!)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I want to address something that I often see in my comments, and that is that I often receive comments saying, '' Omg is this from possessive,'' or '' Mattheo Riddle, is this you?'' AND I DO NOT MIND THOSE TYPES OF COMMENTS. Usually, I find them really funny.
> 
> BUT, often, these comments turn into so much more, and I am daily being accused of stealing ideas, sentences, and words from Yasmine, and that's so annoying. I have to delete so many comments about this every day, and it's starting to get on my nerves.
> 
> So I will speak about this one more time to make it perfectly clear for everyone what this is about.
> 
> No. I do not '' steal'' anything from Yasmine or her book. Still, I do write for her when she wants me to, and that means that certain parts you read in possessive can sound similar to what you later read in my books, or that I sometimes use paragraphs and ideas I have already written in my books, and transform it into hers.
> 
> Yasmine and I are best friends, and I love writing for her, so please stop making things up and cause problems when there really aren't any.
> 
> Thank you. <3


	2. O n e ,

**This chapter contains scenes of abuse — please read with caution,**

**____________________**

I rolled my eyes at the brown-haired boy holding in front of me, " Don't tempt me, Theodore," I smirked as he placed closer, bushy brows furrowed — a smile climbed his lips,

" Or what, Amelie?" He snorted, " Will you hex me if I do?"

Hermione shouldered him away from me as laughter escaped Theodore's rims, " Relax, Granger," — catching a step back, hands stretched in surrender, " Don't you know what a joke is? - You don't have to be that uptight all the time," Both Hermione and I rolled eyes at the smirking boy before us,

'' Funny thing, Nott,'' She mocked, her books firmly hugged to her chest, ''You won't think it's funny anymore when I'm the one hexing you,''

Her words earned a chuckle from my lips as he scratched his head in theory, grumbling something beneath his breath, a proud look painted her highlights until her centers quickly sank to the ground, '' Hermione, what —,'' I rose, but the second his raw hand touched my shoulder — my heart stopped,

'' Standing a bit too close, are you, Nott?'' His words tore cuts through my ears as I stood terrified — my sights bored into Theodore's noticing him once again scratch his neck, eyes darted between his and mine,

'' Calm down, mate — we're just having a little bit of fun, right ladies?'' — but I couldn't find pleasure in his words. I was too frightened, feeling his hand gripped around my shoulder as he yanked me back,

'' Amelie has somewhere to be — she'll catch up with you later,''

The drowning feeling chewed my bones as he dragged me across the hallway — away from our friends. I knew exactly what he's about to do - something he's done so many times before, and all I wished for at this moment, was to die.

I suffered my oxygen as he shoved me into the storage closet at the end of the corridor — for no one to see, " Not a fucking sound," He cursed, pointing his wand towards the door, muttering muffliato beneath his breath.

I couldn't look at him — I didn't dare to, aware of how much worse things could get,

That look on his highlights was my gravest nightmare because I've seen it, felt it so many times before, " Adrian, please - I wasn't doing anything," I whispered as I fought my tears from falling, " Please," — but my pleads were to no use. His fist collided with my ribs, and I suffered my breath sequentially,

Dropping to my knees as he shouted, " Get up," His eyes flared in violence, his fists clenched — ready to hurt me again, " Get the fuck up, you filthy whore," But I couldn't move, the punch struck close to the one I received last night, and the pain was unbearable. You could think that after years of this; it wouldn't hurt anymore — that it would get easier, but that was hardly wishful thinking because every time it ached even graver,

Adrian's temper missed him entirely when I disobeyed him, not being able to stand on my feet, " Suit yourself then," He grinned, pure spite dripped off his tongue when his shoe booted my stomach. It caused me to cry out in pain, blasts of bleak pain shredded through my vessels, " Adrian," I choked, tasting the tang of my own blood. '' I didn't —,''

He scorned my begs and hauled me up by my collar, devilish green eyes narrowed in mine, " You know better than to talk to Nott, you fucking slut," He shoved me back, my spine flung to the brick wall, " You're worthless, you know that, right Amelie?"

I felt my vision clouded as he caught a step closer, kneeling to level me, tilting his head to taunt my shaking figure, " Right?" He growled, " I want to hear you say it. I want to hear you say that you're nothing more than a filthy slut,"

I felt another cough — my insides coiled in torture, " I'm nothing more," I held,

" Well, go on — Continue," He spat, roughly grasping my chin to satisfy his eyes, " Say it,"

My eyes rolled back as my bones crumbled, " I'm nothing more than a slut," I heaved, and by that. His views weakened, the sharp hold of my chin turned soft as he stared deeply into my eyes, " You see, love — That wasn't too hard, was it?" I released a shaky breath as he tenderly stroked my cheek, " I love you, you know that, right?"

His words caused my blood to fume, but there was nothing I could do — I had to be with him, " I know," I spoke quietly. Adrian shot me a slight nod, tucking a cinnamon-brown lock behind my ear, " You understand why I did this, right?"

" Right,"

My vision became clear as I thrust myself off the ground, " Go clean yourself up. I don't want you to look like — that, at dinner."

I forced a smile, wiping a drop of blood from my lip, " Of course," He raised a brow as he gestured his hand for me to walk past him, but the second my feet stumbled, his fingers found a heavy grip of my neck.

" Let me be clear, love — if you as much as look at Nott again, you're dead,"

__________

I was lying crawled up on the tile floor, in my shower, feeling the heated water soaring over my bruised skin. My body was covered in them, bruises, marks, cuts — you name it. But I didn't hate Adrian. I loved him. That's what he always told me, that I love him and that he loves me. We were meant for each other, and that's simply how it all has to be. I have to love him. I promised to do so. I promised my parents that I one day would marry him and if I ever broke that promise,

No, there is no way to break such a promise — it's the law,

___________

I seated myself next to Adrian, hurling him a sweet look while sliding down to my chair. He greeted me in the most heartwarming way, '' I missed you,'' — a kiss planted on my cheek,

I leaned closer, '' I missed you,'' Adrian's hand found my thigh, squeezing it lightly below the table, gawking intensely into my eyes,

Theodore cleared his throat for attention as he stretched over the table,'' Did you hear about Malfoy?'' His voice scored low, '' The date is set,''

My brows furrowed, face confused, '' What date? — For what?''

The two boys huffed at my question, eyes rolled, '' How are you even in Ravenclaw, Avery?'' Theodore snickered, and I wanted to also, but I didn't dare. Adrian's words sounded through my mind as I felt my vision drop to my plate,

" Let me be clear, love — if you as much as look at Nott again, you're dead,"

'' She's nothing more than a pretty face, aren't you, love?'' Adrian's neck snapped to mine, wiring me an ominous grin, and I could feel myself swallow, thickly, trying to shake his cruel words off me, '' But yes, Nott — I heard. Too bad Malfoy has a habit of being impatient,''

Theodore huffed at Adrian's words, sending him an annoyed squint, '' Don't say that out loud, mate. It's Malfoy your talking about,'' He leaned back in his chair, fingers nervously towed the ragged wood of the table,

'' Only a fool would be scared of Malfoy — I'm not even sure that he'll manage to become one,'' Adrian mocked through gritted teeth, his hand around my thigh tensed — the other one sped through his hair. I knew how much Adrian and Draco loathed each other — everything always had to be a match between the two.

I settled my hand upon his, tenderly stroking the spine of it — terrified of him losing his temper. '' Adrian,'' I pleaded, '' Look at me,'' He did as I asked, centers narrowed in mine, '' Should I sleep at yours tonight?'' I smiled as the curve of his mouth twisted,

'' Why? Did you plan on sleeping somewhere else?'' His voice deepened as he gripped my hand, crushing it in his hold, '' Did you?''

I scoffed at his words, seeking to pry my hand away from his, '' Let go of me, Adrian,'' I whined, and then, I caught my bones crush as shots of pain sprayed through my veins. My features grimaced in hurt, pulling my hand away. All I craved to do was to kill him. He hurt me, yet again, and I still can't find the strength to speak up — to talk my mind. I found myself fading back in my seat, ashamed of what he did to me,

'' Fucking whore,'' He grunted underneath his breath as I grasped my fingers, striving not to let my pooling eyes surge, but the pain scored through my every sense.

I felt Theodore's foot boot mine under the table, making my eyes snap to his — he shot Adrian a quick look, only to see that he wasn't paying attention to us anymore. He used the opportunity by mouthing the words, meet me outside, and by that, he stood from his seat, marching out the hall.

My sights grew wide in hesitation, not wanting to set Adrian off, but yet curious as to why he needed to see me — an unsteady breath fled my lips when my neck clocked to Adrian's, '' I'll be right back,'' I spoke silently, rasing from my seat. He ignored my words, even when I knew that he heard me,

My sights sought for Theodore's as I hurried out of the great hall not a minute later, a hand dragged me behind a corner. My eyes blinked quickly, '' Don't do that, Theodore,'' I hushed, shoving him back, '' You scared me,''

A peel of laughter left his lips as he watched down at me, '' That's the point, Amelie,'' He hissed, playfully poking me to the side,

I held my eyebrows furrow, glaring over his profile, thick layers of coffee-colored hair messy over his temples as he rose a brow, gently planting a hand on my cheek. '' Amelie, are you alright?'' — But I couldn't form a word as my sights flickered away from his, not wanting to break down by the strain cutting through my fingers. That's the worst question a person could ask, '' Are you alright?'' Because it was too difficult to lie — I hated lying, especially lying to him,

I utterly stood frozen by his sudden touch, he remarked and immediately freed his hand from my cheek, '' I'm sorry — I wasn't thinking''

Theodore knew everything about how Adrian abused me and what usually happened behind closed doors. He worked to convince me to leave, to save myself from the devil himself — but he didn't realize how it was to have your parents promising you away at such young age, and I hope he never gets to experience that,

'' It's alright,'' I smiled, tucking a curl behind my ear, '' It's not like you play for my team anyway,'' — eyes rolled as he snatched me by the arm,

'' Keep your voice down, Avery.'' He seethed, bending close, '' That was a secret for you to keep — not to shout it over the bloody corridor,'' I could tell that my words struck a nerve. My face instantly turned in regret as I pulled him closer, my arms coiled around his stiff figure,

'' I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that,'' I gasped into his shoulder as his hands sought their way around me, '' I'm fine, Theodore. I promise,''

His chest heaved heavy against mine, nostrils filled with scents of honey. He always smelled like honey, '' I'm scared, Amelie,'' He cooed, feeling his body rise to tremble, '' I don't know how to do this, any of this. I know it's just a mark, but —''

My heart throbbed for the boy clothed in my arms as I hugged him closer, nearly standing on my toes to reach him properly, '' I know. I am too, but we have each other, alright? I'm not letting you go through this alone.'' I encouraged him, '' You will always have me — okay?''

Theodore nodded his head against my neck, still keeping me close, '' Okay,''

The sound of harsh footsteps echoed through the hall, making both me and Theodore jump apart — necks locked to the blonde-haired Slytherin with a cruel smile arced on his lips, '' Well — isn't it Pucey's beloved girlfriend snuggling up to other boys again?'' He laughed, narrowing his eyes in mine, '' Tell me, Avery. What would Adrian think if he were to find out about this?''

I felt my veins ice, breaths hitched as I caught a step back, not wanting to be a part of their wicked plays of conquering,

'' Easy there, mate.'' Theodore huffed, standing in front of me, '' No need to be rude,'' My sights grounded, wishing for it to swallow me whole, terrified of Adrian finding out that I was hooked holding Theodore. Even if I knew that he didn't find an interest in me, or any girl for that matter. I could never tell Adrian about it, as Theodore said — this wasn't my secret to tell.

Draco jeered, rudely catching a track closer to mine as spite filled eyes glared over my figure, clocking to my bruised hand, '' That's a nasty break you got yourself there,'' He grinned, snatching my hand up for greater view, '' Make sure to take care of it, before it's your time to set a date,'' And by that, he flung my hand away, pouring off, leaving both Theodore and me doubtful,

__________________

Theodore fixed my finger with a mere spell. He was considerably good at those, the healing spells. He used to tell me how he wanted to be a muggle doctor. He always found importance in helping people, especially me,

I rushed my way to Adrian's door, scared to death of being late; it would always be a punishment if I heaved late, even so, a minute. My knuckles struck the door, tensely waiting for him to open it, but nothing. Not a sound from inside the entrance. I snapped my wand in between my fingers, _Alohomora_ ,

And my eyes pooled the second his door clicked open. My eyes leveled Adrian,

Naked, 

On top of Pansy.


	3. T w o ,

**This chapter contains scenes of abuse, self-harm, and rape — please read with caution.**

**___________________________**

_I love him — I love him — I love him,_

I have to love him — there's no other way out of this — it's either loving him or die.

I found myself knocking on Theodore's door - not even knowing how I got here, my knuckles heavily collided with the wood, " Please, please, please be here," I begged in silence before he swung the door open - gawking at the dried tears coating my chin,

He scratched the back of his neck in uncertainty, " Amelie, what are you-" He rose, but before he had the chance to speak his mind - I had already wrapped my arms around his bare chest. His arms found their way around my trembling body as he pulled me into his room, closing the door behind us,

Theodore's hands stroked my hair as I sobbed into his exposed chest — '' What did he do, darling?'' He hummed into my skin as he walked back to his bed, with me still glued to his body,

'' Tell me what he did,'' He seated himself with me still standing in between his legs, tending away to stroke some damp strands of hair out of my face — he gazed at me with the softest of looks as he pulled me down in his lap, hugging me tightly,

'' He—,'' I sobbed, my chest heavy against his, '' Pansy,'' I uttered again, as he nodded — cupping his hands around my wearied head, stroking some of my tears away with his thumbs, '' I love you, Amelie — you know that right?'' He whispered as he stared deeply into my flooded eyes, '' Just say the words darling, and I will end him,''

His words caused me to huff in between my cries — a shy smile rose on my lips as I looked at him — _my_ _beautiful Theodore, he's always here to catch me when I fall — every time,_

'' I love you back, crazy,'' I laughed through my tears as he held me close. The warmth of his skin was enough for my heart to beat again, '' But no — you're not killing him.''

He let out a loud groan to my words, bushy brows furrowed, '' Please — just let me,''

'' No,'' I heaved him off — gently pushing him back, '' We're not killing anyone,''

He pulled us back, now laying next to each other — I seized his hand in mine, fiddling with his fingers, braiding them together, '' Do you think we'll make it?'' He spoke quietly, looking up at his ceiling, '' I mean—,'' He huffed, his head tilted to level mine, '' Do you think we'll make it, Amelie?''

I found myself staring into his blue eyes — you could almost reach heaven in them, so pure, so kind, so loving. '' I know we will,''

He clutched my hand, stretching it up to his lips as he planted a soft peck on the spine of it, ''Do you promise to stay with me forever?'' He whispered as I felt warm breaths fanning my hand,

'' Forever, Teddy.''

He rolled over in the bed, almost laying on top of me, '' No matter what?''

I smiled at his words, coffee-brown hair messy over his temples, '' No matter what,''

Theodore narrowed his eyes in mine, and I could see how scared he was. He never wanted this — he never wanted to get the dark mark — the mark his friends craved to get, '' I'm afraid — I don't want to do this,'' His head sunk to the crook of my neck, '' I don't want this, Amelie,''

"Promise that you won't let it change me," I hugged him as he laid on top of me, '' I know, Teddy — I promise. I would never let anything change you," I mumbled into his head, feeling his hair tickling my nose,

'' Maybe we should just run away together?'' I whispered. His head sped up as he looked at me confused, eyes pooling,

'' Would you do that for me?'' He smiled through his pain, '' Would you actually run away with me?''

My hands brushed through his hair, '' You know I would do anything for you,'' — but he simply ridiculed at my words, '' Right — you can't even leave that bloody boyfriend —''

'' Don't'' I hushed him, '' You know that I don't have a choice — my father,'' He cut me off by holding a finger to my lips as he looked up at me, his head rested on my chest, '' I know, darling — I know,''

I fell asleep in Theodore's arms — I haven't done so in a long time, but I needed to — today, I needed to. Adrian had done this so many times before — cheating on me wasn't a rare thing, and every time it hurt a little less. I was dreaming about the day he would fall in love with someone else and leave me — and maybe then I could stop drowning — I don't feel anything anymore — I was numb, a lifeless body wandering through life without cause.

_________________

I peeled my eyes open, strings of sun tickled my eyelashes when I caught the loud banging on the door - my eyes searched the room confused before I realized that I was sleeping in Theodore's dorm,

" Amelie, are you fucking in there?"

Adrian's hoarse voice caused the windows to clinker as he almost booted the door in, " Amelie, I swear to god," He shouted once more, causing Theodore to jolt up from the bed, scratching his neck confused,

We stared at each other for a fleeting moment before our necks snapped to the door-busting in - Adrian's eyes placed on me, seated in Theodore's sheets before green eyes flickered to Theodore, standing in nothing but his boxers - and by the look of that - Adrian snapped,

He rushed up to Theodore, forcing him back to the wall, '' You disgusting traitor,'' Adrian seethed through gritted teeth, '' Did you enjoy fucking her?'' He held Theodore up by his throat; fingers dug deeply,

I pushed myself off the bed, stumbling up to them, '' Please — Adrian, stop," But he didn't budge as I tried to pry him away,

Theodore only scoffed at Adrian's actions," Hit me, Adrian — I dare you," and by that — Adrian's fist collided with my best friend's jaw over and over and over again,

Tears drowned my cheeks as I did everything possible to stop him - looking at Theodore's unconscious blood-covered face caused everything within me to break, " Stop it, Adrian — stop it right now or— " I breathed, gathering my strength to say the forbidden words, " Or I will tell everyone,"

Adrian froze by my words, and his head snapped to mine as his eyes turned dark — darker than I've ever seen them. He dropped Theodore to the floor as he flung around to face me — his body leveled mine,

He pushed my back to the bed. My back struck the mattress with force as he towered over me, '' Who are you going to tell, Amelie?'' He endangered, '' Do you actually believe that someone will take your word over mine?'' His hands wrapped around my throat while straddling my weak body, '' You're nothing more than a filthy whore — nobody would ever believe you,''

I looked over to the nightstand, desperately stretching to reach my wand — pushing it into Adrian's chest, '' Stop it, Adrian — this needs to stop,'' I pleaded through my tears, '' You can't do this anymore,'' My deeds caused him to chuckle evilly,

He nipped his lower lip, narrowing green eyes in mine, '' It's you or him, Amelie,'' He hissed, gesturing to my unconscious friend on the floor, '' Either I punish you — or I kill him,''

The hands around my throat gripped tighter, '' Choose,''— I closed my eyes as I lowered my wand, throwing it across the room — I would do anything for Theodore, even this.

'' Good girl,'' He cooed — and by that, he shoved his pants to his ankles, roughly dragged my underwear down, leaving me exposed on the bed, '' Not a fucking sound, am I clear?''

I couldn't find myself to speak — I simply nodded towards him as he smirked devilishly.

I closed my eyes as tears kept fleeing them — I couldn't look at him when I felt his length thrusting inside me — my lips shaking from the pain — the hatred I felt through each thrust. Adrian's hands traveled up to my neck again, almost choking me as he forced himself onto my body — I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head as my lungs suffered oxygen — I tried to pry his hands off my skin, but he didn't move — he kept violating me, nails digging into my sore skin and all I wished for at this moment was for Theodore to be okay,

I don't care about what Adrian would do to me — he couldn't possibly do anything he hasn't done before — but Theodore didn't deserve this,

'' Fuck — I'm coming,'' Adrian grunted as a feeling of relief washed over me — it was over — he was done.

He crashed over my numb figure, sensing his chest heaving heavy against mine. He looked at me while pushing himself off, dragging his pants back up,

'' Maybe I should have a word with Malfoy more often,'' He grinned as he peered over his shoulder to look at my best friend, '' He was more than happy to tell me about your little meeting in the hall last night,'' He taunted my breaking self, before marching out of the room,

I dragged my underwear up, standing on my feet, feeling the pain of what Adrian had done soaring through my stomach — I kneeled beside Theodore, stroking a few blood-covered strands of hair out of his eyes, ''I love you — please be okay,'' I whimpered into his chest as I pulled him closer,

'' I'm so — so sorry, Teddy.''

_________________

My sights gazed over my best friend as he laid unconscious on the hospital bed — his chest lightly moving up and down — my heart was breaking by the look of him. Only if he would let me tell Adrian the truth about him, but he would never — he never wanted his parents to find out. I pushed my lips against his forehead as I rose from my seat, whispering against his tanned skin, '' I love you — I'll be back later,''

I took immediate steps out of the hospital wing, destined to find the blonde-haired boy who told Adrian about last night. I searched the halls, looking everywhere till I saw him smirking at the end of the hall.

My mind ignored the fact that he was surrounded by friends when I marched towards him — Draco's eyes narrowed in mine as he pushed himself off the wall, taking a stride closer to me — '' Why would you do that?'' I shouted at his front as I forced my hands into his chest, shoving him back — '' What would you do that, Malfoy?'' I repeated myself — my cheeks flushed in anger, repeatedly slamming my fists into his chest,

He gripped my arms, pushing his body close to mine — preventing me from hitting him, '' What the fuck are you on about, Amelie?'' He hissed, staring at me with confused eyes,

I yanked my body away from his as I shot him a death glare — thinking about what Adrian did to me all because of their wicked games — Draco had no thought of the torture he'd caused me. He simply believed that it was something funny, a joke — what he didn't know was that Theodore was my safe haven, the only place I had ever felt safe was with him, and now — Adrian hurt him, only because Draco didn't have the manors of keeping quiet.

I shoved him back one more time before I parted myself from him, '' I hate you, Draco — I hate you so much.'' My words caused him to frown, face twisted in disbelief before he caught onto my words, snickering, '' Well, Amelie — maybe you shouldn't snuggle up to other boys,'' He laughed, shooting his friends an amused look before he towered over me,

'' The way I see it — you did this to yourself,''

Draco's words caused the anger to boil inside of me — my eyes pooled in frustration, ''You have no idea what you have done,'' I shook my head at him, a tear rolled down my cheek as the blonde-haired Slytherin stared at me wide-eyed,

'' What did he do?'' Draco snatched my wrist, looking deeply into my eyes as fury flashed through them — I winced by his touch, scared of anyone touching me after years of Adrian's abuse,

'' Let go of me,'' I whispered, taking a step back — stumbling into a tensed figure,

'' You'll have to excuse her, Malfoy.'' Adrian's voice scored through my ears as my whole body flinched — breaths hitched, '' She's a little _tense_ , sometimes,'' He snickered while snatching my arm to drag me closer to him. I lowered my sights before closing them, '' Look at me,'' Adrian demanded, and I did as told,

I looked up at him, frightened, meeting my boyfriends stare, '' If you only knew how to behave,'' He shook his head as he searched my eyes — spite radiated off him as he forced my arm back, causing me to fall to the floor, '' Amelie,'' He mocked, '' Clumpsy as always I see,''

'' Pucey, what the—,'' Draco rose but quickly hushed down as I shook my head at him, begging him not to say anything — it wasn't worth it, even if Draco did say something to stop Adrian right now — Adrian would do worse to me later.

I pushed myself off the floor, straightening my skirt as I looked around, terrified of anyone catching the way Adrian treated me, '' What was that, Malfoy?'' Adrian snapped at the blonde one, narrowing green eyes in grey ones, '' I asked you a question, Malfoy,''

My arms sought to find Adrian's arm, '' Please — Adrian,'' I pleaded, hearing how upset Adrian turned, '' Walk me to class, please.''

But he didn't even look at me. Adrian merely forced me back as he scoffed, " Why don't you have Nott bring you," — an evil grin rose on his lips as my veins iced, '' Where is _Teddy_ anyway?'' He looked around, mocking me '' Oh, right.'' His eyes clocked Draco's again, '' I don't know if you heard — but Nott suffered a terrible fall off the stairs this morning,''

I felt myself swallow thickly, my fists clenched — looking at Draco with a numb profile as his brows furrowed, strands of blonde hair placed entirely over his temples, '' Is he okay?'' Draco spoke with uncertainty — both of the boys peered down at me as Adrian rose a brow,

'' Yes, Amelie? Have you visited Theodore today?''

My breaths hitched once more — I couldn't stand Adrian speaking his name after what he did — '' No — I'm sorry, but I'm late for class,'' I uttered before quickly walking away, scared to death that Adrian would follow me.

_________________

My favorite place in this school was the library — it held quiet, especially at nights, after curfew. Everything sort of fell into place in the silence. My mind could rest as I found myself lost in a book — a moment of peace,

I leaned my head against the bookshelf — staring out over the dimmed darkness as a shaky breath suffered my lips — I don't want to do this anymore.

I needed to feel pain, but not his pain — my own pain.

My hands seized the razor blade, hidden in a dusty book — dried blood covered the piece of metallic — because that's all that I did in here — at night,

_I eased my pain,_

My eyes rolled back as the blade cut through the pale skin of my inner arm — for no one but me to see — _to_ _feel_.

It felt good — relief washed over my sorrows as the metal collided with my skin once more, but my body coiled as I heard footsteps approaching, causing the blade to dig deeper than intended — blood fled down my arm as I forced myself up, hiding the edge back in the book —

'' Amelie, what the hell are you—''

Grey eyes snapped to my blood-covered arm before they leveled mine,

'' Draco?''


	4. T h r e e ,

**This chapter contains scenes of abuse, sexual assault, and self-harm.**

**________________________**

'' Amelie, what the—,'' Draco gawked at my sleeve as grey eyes flashed in confusion, '' What the hell are you doing?''

I sought to take a step back as he roughly clutched my wrist, bending it up for better view, '' Amelie—'' He gasped as his eyes strained all the cuts embedded into my skin, faded and fresh ones — Draco's face fell as a beaten look rose his temples, '' Why would you do this?''

With my words stuck in my throat, I solely swallowed, glancing away. The blonde neck snapped to mine as he cupped my cheek, arching my head back to look at him, '' Amelie, why would you do this?'' He repeated himself, but I stood frozen, frightened that he would hurt me — just like Adrian would,

'' Please don't hurt me,'' I whispered, sensing my eyes springing to pool, and he promptly drew his touch away, taking a step back, '' Why would I hurt you?'' He challenged me; a hand tensely sped through his hair before shoving both of them into his pockets,

I shook my head as I sank to my knees, collecting my books, '' I have to—,''

'' No—'' He shut me up, furrowing his eyebrows, '' You need to tell me what's going on, _right now,_ '' - but all I could think of when I watched him was Theodore and what Draco's deeds did to him,

I forced myself past him, shouldering him as I went, '' Mind your own business, Malfoy,'' I spat at his shocked front — spinning around in my steps before pouring out. I overheard him call out for me, but I didn't care. I envied him for what he did to Theodore, even if he wasn't the one firing the punch,

**_____________**

Days passed without Adrian even speaking to me, never-less looking at me. This was the worst punishment — the silence because I knew that after calm weather, a storm would rise — and Adrian happened to be the worst of storms,

I stood frozen next to Adrian in the hallway as he leaned against the wall, eyes snapping over the students walking past us. My heart fluttered the second my eyes placed on the brown-haired boy walking past us, Hermione walking close beside him — but my sights quickly snapped away. I couldn't even look at Theodore in Adrian's presence — not after last time,

'' Pathetic,'' Adrian hissed next to me, making me look up at him as he shot me a glare, '' What do you see in that blood traitor anyway?'' He questioned me, tensely tugging his tie, '' Answer me,''

I rolled my eyes away from him, almost flinching by the sound of his voice, '' Nothing,'' I spoke quietly as a grin rose on his lips, '' That's what I thought — he's just as pathetic as you,''

The anxiety chewed my bones when I felt his hand taking place on my shoulder — the panic rushed through me as I pulled away, '' I have to—,'' I whispered before I took quick steps away from him, but I didn't get too far before I felt a raw hand wrapped around my wrist, and by the touch of him, that evil, hateful touch, my insides wrenched,

" Where do you think you're going?" Adrian spat at my shocked stare, '' You have no right walking away from me,'' His tone scored low, hatred dripping off his tongue,

I looked around, ensuring that no one else was around to witness what I knew was coming. I sucked in a harsh breath, '' I was—,''

'' Adrian—,'' Pansy's voice tore through the spite between us, '' Are you coming?''

My eyes snapped to the girl, smirking in the bathroom doorway,

'' I'll be right there, _babe_ ,'' He spoke softly to the girl waiting for him, closing the door behind her,

My insides twisted at his last word — he always called me that in the beginning, before he turned into the monster he is today, '' Well, let's get back to _you_ ,'' Green eyes narrowed in mine, " What should I do with you?"

He ran a hand through his dark brown hair as he towered himself over me, eyes flickered all over my sicking front — a devilish smirk coated his lips, " Warm it up for me," Adrian demanded, looking down at the bulge throbbing inside his school uniform pants,

" Adrian—, I don't want to—," He grabbed my neck, roughly tugging me closer, a whimper left my lips by his coarse hold, " You will do as I say — when I say it, fucking whore," Adrian forced me back, causing me to drop to my knees, the stone-covered ground scraped the tender skin.

" That's right, Amelie. Know your place," He taunted my crumbling figure. Bare hands sought to drag me closer by my hair. I swallowed, sucking my lower lip in between my teeth before I did as he demanded — I hauled his pants down, then his boxers,

'' What if someone—,'' I rose, looking up at the cruel boy before me as his palm struck my cheek — my head swirled dizzy,

'' Don't even try, Amelie.'' He mocked, '' Or I will slap you again — do you understand?'' I simply nodded at his remark, looking back at his length, eagerly waiting for me.

I closed my eyes, trying to imagine being somewhere else - somewhere else but here. I lowered my mouth over his bulge, sucking it the way he always wished for. I felt ashamed, disgusted — I couldn't stand up to him, I didn't dare to do anything else than to please him, even if it broke me.

'' Look at me,'' He endangered, and my eyes clocked wide open, still sucking him off, '' You're nothing more than a pretty face, are you?'' His fingers stroked my cheek, rubbing a thumb over my drained skin, '' Fuck— I'm—,'' He panted out, eyes rolling to the back of his head as ribbons filled my throat.

I stayed on my knees, looking down at the ground as he pulled his pants back up — my cheek flushed by the slap I received earlier.

Adrian kneeled beside me, looking at me with soft eyes, '' Don't forget the autumn dinner tomorrow,'' He smiled, white teeth showing, '' I love you, Amelie — never forget that.'' He tucked a curl behind my ear, gently pushing his lips against my forehead before quickly getting back on his feet, rushing after Pansy into the bathroom.

He left me in tears on the cold ground — like he always did when he's done using me.

**__________________**

'' Amelie,'' Adrian's mother greeted me, '' I'm so happy you both made it,'' Her green eyes darted between Adrian and me as we stood on the steps to his childhood home,

I wrapped my arms around her small figure, '' Anna,'' I whispered into her hair as she hugged me tightly — the scent of her, jasmine and vanilla filled my nostrils — calming my shaking nerves,

'' I missed you,'' She smiled at my words before leaning in to kiss her son on the cheek — the housemaid kindly took our coats as I felt Adrian's hand stroking my lower back, guiding me towards the kitchen — the smell of homecooked food circled us and for a moment, just a brief one, everything felt alright,

I watched as his mother and my father talked over the counter. I couldn't help but to feel disgusted by the way he stroked her arm before his eyes snapped up to mine, stiffly nodding towards the both of us — I felt nauseous once again, looking at my father as he let out a chuckle at something Anna said. The one person I hated more than Adrian was him — because he treated me worse than Adrian ever did,

'' You look beautiful tonight,'' Adrian smiled behind me, leaning close to place a kiss on the back of my head, hands running up and down my bare arms — I felt my insides bend in sickness as I forced a smile, '' Thank you, darling.''

Adrian huffed at my words, ripping away the hold he just granted me with; eyes rolled as he dragged me into the dining hall.

The setting Adrian's mother had made for this dinner was remarkable — I felt my sights gazing over the golden decorations on the table — before snapping down to a familiar face, seated at the table holding a glass of scotch in his pale, veiny hand.

My heart sped at the look of the blonde boy in Adrian's home — Draco knew too much. He was on to something he shouldn't be. Shivers left my spine when I remembered the way his touch felt on mine - it wasn't evil, punishably — it was calm, soft, but that made me hate him even more because I wanted Adrian's touch to feel the way Draco's did,

'' Amelie,'' Narcissa welcomed me, bringing me back to the present, '' Stunning as always, I see,'' The spine of her hand gently stroked my cheek before her eyes caught Adrian standing close behind me,

'' Adrian,'' She nodded towards him before looking back at me, '' I heard about Theodore and his visit to the infirmary the other day — is he alright?''

I felt myself swallow hard as I peered up at Adrian, noticing his jaws clenching at Narcissa's words, and just as I was about to answer her,

'' He's fine,'' Adrian spoke, annoyed, '' A fall off the stairs isn't anything our beloved Nott couldn't handle,'' His grip around my waist tensed, and I could feel his temper devising,

'' A fall off the stairs, you say?'' Draco's voice approached from behind, causing both Adrian and me to look at him, '' I didn't realize that you could break your nose and get two black eyes from a fall off the stairs, Pucey,'' The blonde taunted him, making his whole figure visibly shaking,

'' Amelie — good to see you,'' Draco smiled evilly, a cold hand rested on my arm as he leaned close to plant a kiss on my cheek - my jaw dropped, so did Narcissa's — I looked at him wide-eyed as he rose a brow, '' Something wrong?'' He mocked,

I could hear Adrian swallow harshly, the fingers around my waist ripped into my flesh as he pulled me back from Draco, '' Watch it, Malfoy,'' He hissed, '' Don't touch what isn't yours,'' I looked at Narcissa, feeling ashamed of the way the two boys bickered,

'' Come with me, dear,'' She smiled, taking my arm in a soft hold before leading me away,

'' Are you alright?'' Her eyes stared deeply into mine as I felt the lump in my throat grow,

The drowning feeling washed over me when I thought about Theodore and why he hadn't shown up yet, '' Yes—, I mean no—, I guess I need to lay down for a minute,'' I forced a smile at the gracious woman before me, '' I'll be back in a bit,''

Her hand stroked my arm as she shot me a slight nod, red lips pressed together into a firm line, '' If you say so, dear — let me know if you need _anything_ ,'' She spoke softly, turning to walk back to her son.

I closed the door leading to Adrian's room behind me, seating myself on his bed — my head immediately dropped to my hands, as a sob escaped the back of my throat. It was hard to keep appearances when all I wanted to do was shout — scream — yell.

When all I wanted to do was die,

But I couldn't — because I love Adrian and he loves me — that's the way it had to be,

I clocked out of my thought's the second the door swung open, flying to my feet. The raging boy in front of me slammed the door shut behind him, without once taking his eyes off mine — the look on his face flushed in anger. He was furious.

'' Why did Malfoy do that, Amelie?'' He seethed, teeth gritted, '' Why the hell would he touch you like that?'' Adrian took threatening steps towards me, snatching me by the arm, and before I knew the word of it — before I even had a chance to answer — he threw me into a bookshelf,

The hurt of my body colliding with the furniture was unbearable, '' Answer me, you pathetic slut,'' He growled, but the slam knocked the air out of my lungs — I heaved for air as I crawled back on the floor,

Adrian's impatience for my answer became overwhelming as he took a stride towards me, dragging me up by my hair — my feet unable to touch the ground,

'' Adrian—, Please—,'' I sobbed, every bone in my body ached — tears flooded down my cheeks, '' I didn't do anything—, please,'' Green eyes tore through mine with hatred, his chest pounded heavy. I gripped the hand holding me up by the hair — doing everything possible to pry him off,

''Adrian—, It hurts—, It hurts, please—,''

'' You disgust me, and I want you out of my house after dinner," His voice turned dark as a chuckle left his lips, '' You're nothing more than a filthy disgrace, Amelie,'' And with that, he forced me back into the bookshelf, books falling over my weak body as I once again dropped the floor — Adrian kneeled beside my trembling self,

'' And you're nothing to me, remember that,'' He hissed as he stood tall on his feet again, brushing his suit off, cursing underneath his breath, and then — he left me, utterly and profoundly broken on the floor — like he always did.

I looked myself in the mirror, seeing nothing but an empty shell — a body drained of everything.

I raised the edge of the scissors to my inner thigh — I craved to feel the relief it brought me, and the second the tip cut through my skin — everything became easier, the blood flowing down my leg was filled with ease — a gentle knock hit the door.

I looked up at my reflection in panic, " Just a minute," I spoke, forcing my dress down to cover the shred in my skin,

Another knock echoed through the bathroom as I turned around, opening the door, " Draco?"

He shouldered his way past me through the doorway, locking it behind him, " What the hell happened up here?" I nervously stared at his grey eyes, feeling his sights gazing all over my looks, " What happened to you?"

I forced a smile, looking away as I took a step towards the door — hiding the scissors behind my back, " I don't know what you're talking about, Draco." His brows furrowed as he noticed my bruised shoulder,

" Don't lie to me," He snapped, narrowing grey eyes in mine, " Tell me what happened,"

I felt myself panic at the thought of being alone in the bathroom with him, " Because I saw your cuts—,"

" Stop it, Draco — you don't know anything," I hewed him off, sending him a glare, " Why do you even bother?''

My words turned his face hard, jaws clenched as he stared at me with spite, '' You know what?'' He endangered, stepping far too close, '' I don't fucking care, Amelie.''

His eyes bored through mine without so much as a glimpse of humanity, making my breaths hitch, " Go ahead, Amelie — cut yourself some more," My insides ached by the cruel words leaving his lips, " I don't _fucking_ care,"

I knew he didn't — nobody cared.

**__________**

Adrian pulled a chair out for me before seating himself next to it, my cheeks still flustered red from the moment in his room, " Amelie, is everything alright, dear?" Adrian's mother spoke from across the table,

My eyes snapped to hers as she granted me a humble smile, " I'm—,"

" She's fine, mother." Adrian cut me off, sending his mother a bothered stare, " Right, _love_?" Cold shivers fled my spine the second I felt his hand clenching around my thigh. I slightly nodded, staring down to my plate,

The room crowded with voices as we began to eat — but I didn't manage to. I merely shoved the food around on my plate, '' Amelie, how's school going?'' Narcissa smiled, taking a sip off her drink, '' From what I've heard, you show much promise in class — do you enjoy your sixth year so far?''

I placed a napkin on my lap, nodding my head at her, '' It's going great, thank you,'' I smiled back at her, tucking a lock behind my ear, '' I do — I really enjoy—,''

'' Well, it's a shame she ended up in Ravenclaw.'' My father cleared his throat, slamming his fist to the table, '' Your schoolwork won't matter to the dark lord — if you only took an interest in the real world, maybe—,''

'' That's enough, father, '' I spoke, still staring down at my plate — ashamed that he disrespected me in front of everyone,

'' I will have the mark, just as promised.'' My father shot me a glare, dropping his fork to the table as he cleared his throat once again,

" Here, _right now._ " He urged, gesturing for me to step beside him — I felt my heart drop in my chest as my father pulled out a pack of cigars from his chest pocket, lightening one as he impatiently waited for me to do as told, " Right now, Amelie,"

Every stare turned to me as the entire room hushed. I looked at my father in disbelief — he never did this in front of people, but the fury radiating off him was unavailable. I had spoken against him, and I deserved to be disciplined for it — I knew that.

I pushed my seat back, making Adrian's hand slip off my thigh — my sights grounded in ignominy, too scared to meet anyone's stare. I stopped next to his chair, still not looking up from the floor as I stretched my arm out for him — a wicked grin grew on his lips as he clutched my wrist over the table,

" Andrew—," Narcissa whispered, her kind tone tore through the embrace of hatred, " Please—,"

My father ignored her plea for him to let me go — he took a deep breath of the cigar, blowing the smoke right at me. I felt my whole body shaking, clenching my fists for my nails to dig into my palms — preparing for what my father is about to do — preparing for the pain,

'' This will teach you not to talk back to me — am I clear?'' He grinned, the vein embedded into his forehead popped out in excitement as he raised his voice, '' Am I clear?''

'' Y—, Yes, father,'' I stuttered — he yanked me closer, feeling the breaths of smoke and scotch heating onto my shoulder as he let out a dark chuckle.

My whimper shredded through the hushed room as the cigar burned into my skin, the stinging feeling in my arm shot daggers throughout my whole existence — my cores ached, my bones bent, my face twisted in pain as I struggled not to let out a sob — but the pain was overwhelming,

'' Please—,'' I cried, feeling ice-cold tears streaming down my cheeks as he dug the flaming piece of tobacco deeper into my surface — my eyes flickered up to my fathers, noticing that he had nothing but pure evil in his eyes,

He hated me. I know he did — ever since my mother died, he resented me more than anything in this world, all because I reminded him of her.

I caught a chair being forced back as palms struck the table, causing the porcelain to clinker,

'' That's enough, Andrew,'' Anna shouted, hurrying her way up to me, '' She's had enough — let the girl go.''

Anna's arms wrapped around me, pulling me back from my father's grip as he snapped out of his trance; a stone-cold look met mine, his fingers sought to straighten the tie hugging his neck before he looked over the table,

'' Anyone else?'' My father mocked, taking another breath of the cigar he'd used to punish me with — embracing the silence around us, '' Very well then — please continue,"

The saloon echoed in voices as everyone overlooked what passed — this is the way it's supposed to be.

I knew that.

___________


	5. F o u r ,

**This chapter contains scenes of sexual assault and abuse. Please read with caution.**

**____________________**

A trail of huffs escaped my lips as I stood before the mirror, shakingly staring at my reflection. My eyes pooled the second they flickered over the nasty scar my father's cigar had granted me, one of many — the wound still reddens, drops of blood coated the surface, but it wasn't the scar itself that haunted me,

It was the way it caused me to feel,

Useless, worthless, hopeless, vein,

I felt disgusted with myself — _no_ ,

I hated myself,

Every scar, every bruise, every mark left by someone other than myself portrayed a memory of weakness, a moment where I was too fragile, a time where my body didn't belong to me,

And I hated myself, more than anything — because my body wasn't mine anymore — it always seemed to belong to someone else, no matter what I did.

I hated it, being an Avery, being one of the sacred twenty- eight.

My father used to be the right hand of the dark lord himself, and he was a monster, my father was a ruthless killer that should've spent the rest of his life locked up in Azkaban, but unfortunately, he did not.

The gravest mistake he ever made, according to himself, was me. He always wished for a son to carry his legacy on, and then, he had a daughter, nevertheless a daughter that ended up in Ravenclaw,

He hated me,

He despised every bone in my body,

He wished for me to die, and most of the time so did I.

I flinched out of my thoughts by the knock on my door, hastily drawing a sweater over my bare chest, " Theod—," I rose as the door flung open,

" Listen to this—," My eyes snapped to Theodore's as he marched into my room, his head buried in a book, "We accept the love we think we deserve,''

His head flew off the pages to level mine, staring at me with a lofty look, '' Good—, right? I quickly looked out in the door, making sure nobody saw him come in, slamming it shut after,

I turned to face my best friend as he stood, almost shaking in excitement, " What?" I breathed, confused, leaning my back against the door as he narrowed green eyes in mine, '' The book, Amelie—,'' He chuckled, rubbing the spine of his hand across his temples,

'' What do you think?''

He stared at me as I shook my head, swallowing the thoughts I had before he walked in, '' I'm sorry — would you read it again please?'' Eyes rolled at my request as he hunched onto my bed, face once again buried in the book,

"We accept the love we think we deserve,''

Theodore gazed up at me as the words caused my heart to shatter — I felt every single letter he spoke,

'' Where is that from?'' I stuttered, forcing a smile, still leaning against the wooden door — striving to conceal the pain soaring through my nerves,

My mind clouded with Adrian, every cruel word he dared to call me,

_" Fucking whore,"_

_" Filthy slut,"_

_" You're nothing more than a pretty face,"_

_" You mean nothing to me,"_

Perhaps this was it, maybe I deserved this, _no_ —

I know I deserved it,

I deserved every word, every slap, every punch, every time he violated me, I deserved.

I know I did.

Theodore raised tall on his feet; a hand fled through his thick brown hair before catching heavy steps up to me,

'' I'm sorry — I didn't think—,'' and with that, my head dropped to his shoulder, sobs shook my lips as he held me close, '' Damn it, Amelie — I didn't think—,'' He sniffed once more as I held onto him with everything I had,

Everything I had left,

I cried in his hold, letting out everything I've been keeping in — the sorrow washed over me like a tidal wave, feeling tears flooding, '' I—,'' I heaved, but my trembling lips had no strength in speaking,

'' Come,'' He cooed into my hair, pulling me towards the bed. Theodore placed me underneath my covers before lying down beside me, warm arms wrapped around my waist as my back hugged his chest,

'' Rest, Amelie — please,'' He could feel how exhausted I was, how my mind drained of everything,

'' I'll be here when you wake up — I promise,''

My eyes felt heavy as my chest crumbled — everything hurts, and I want it all to stop — I need it to stop.

I flew up from my bed, noticing everything had fallen dark around us, '' No, no, no,'' I panted out, remembering that I was supposed to attend the quidditch game between Slytherin and Gryffindor.

My hand gripped Theodore by the arm as I shook him, strands of coffee-brown hair fell into his eyes, '' Teddy — teddy, wake up,'' But nothing, he snored heavily in sleeping,

'' Theodore,'' I nearly shouted as he jolted up, drool smudged his cheek as he stared at me in panic,

'' What?'' He gasped, eyes wide open in panic, '' What is it?''

'' I have to go — I promised Adrian that I would—, '' I hushed, rushing towards my dresser, pulling a jacket out before I turned to match his confused stare, bushy brows furrowed as he gawked wide-eyed,

'' I forgot—,'' He hewed himself as I forced the door open,

'' I have to go — I'm sorry—,''

_________________

I felt myself swallow thickly as the lump stuck in my throat grew, preparing myself for the hell I knew was coming. My hands trembling in dread as I pushed the door to Adrian's locker room open,

The second I did, his neck locked to mine, green eyes narrowed as his face stunned cold '' Took you long enough'' He growled, hunched over one of the benches,

'' Where were you?'' He questioned me, standing tall in his shoes, furious as to why I was late,

My veins iced the second I caught onto his words, the mockery dripping off his tongue held in pure evil, '' I was in the library — studying with Hermione,'' I lied in a stutter, hoping for him to believe me, '' How did it go—,''

'' With Granger, you say?'' He taunted me — irony broke through his stern hue, catching a step closer, '' If Granger was with _you_ — _who_ was the girl on the stands, cheering her read-headed boyfriend on, Amelie?''

I gulped, not answering as his temper missed him, the green eyes bored through mine in evil — a whimper fled my lips when my spine heavily collide with the hallway wall,

" I asked you a question, Amelie," He seethed, teeth gritted, nostrils flared in anger. I blinked quickly, '' And when I ask you a question — what are you supposed to do?'' His eyes stabbed mine, veins popping out of his neck,

'' Answer,'' I falter, my sights grounding — too terrified to look at the boy before me,

'' Yes, Amelie — when I ask you something, you answer.'' He fumed as a hand flew to grip my jaw, bending my head back to look at him,

'' And why didn't you answer me, Amelie?'' His voice scored low — a dark chuckle fled his throat while his face held in fury,

The grip around my jaw tightened as I tried to pry him away, my breaths hitched as his felt heavy against mine '' I'm sorry — I didn't know what to—,''

'' What, Amelie?'' He hissed, green eyes tore through mine with spite, '' You didn't know how to be honest with me?'' The tension in his eyes broke as mine pooled,

'' I'm sorry — I'm so sorry,'' I cried out. My tears fell, my cheeks soaked by the salty liquid, '' Please don't hurt me,'' Adrian pushed his body closer to mine, hands cupped my cheeks in a soft hold,

Warm thumbs traced circles on my pale skin before he bent closer in order to plant a soft kiss on my quivering lips, '' _I'm_ not going to hurt you, love—,'' He cooed, a smirk arched on his lips —green eyes snapped to the figure approaching us,

'' But I can't speak for Blaise—,''

My entire face fell, mouth hung open in disbelief as I clocked the tanned boy walking up to us and before I knew what was passing, they dragged me into the locker room,

I stumbled back between the lockers as my knees failed me, making me drop to the stone-covered floor. My eyes grew wide in panic as the two boys towered me — devilish smirks plastered to their lips, fists clenched,

'' Please—,'' I broke in hesitation, shutting my eyes closed as I hugged myself — this was new. Adrian had never done anything similar to this before.

'' Please—,'' I begged, tears streaming before a gasp left my lips, feeling Adrian's shoe collide with my stomach. My insides twisted in agony as my bones caved, and then,

He did it again,

My chest took another boot, knocking the oxygen out of my lungs,

'' Lying—,'' Adrian hissed as he rose a brow, both of his hands fled through his hair in excitement,

'' You will never lie to me again, do you understand?'' He tried to warn, but I was numb — my insides cried out in pain, nearly as if something had ruptured within me. My sights coiled dizzy, sensing the room spinning in high speed,

Adrian dragged me up by my arms as my head hung, not owning the strength in keeping it steady, '' Do you _fucking_ understand?'' He repeated himself through a shout, teeth gritted — his voice tore through through my entire being as my eyes peeled open, his brows furrowed,

'' I—,'' I coughed, tasting the iron tang of my own blood as he slapped me, making my whole head ringing in pain, my breaths hitched completely,

'' Say it,'' He pushed, heated breaths fanned my almost unconscious self, '' Fucking say it,''

My head slumped back, strands of hair fell into my eyes as I fought to keep them open, '' I under—, I understand,'' I heaved, clutching my stomach, feeling the waves of torture shredding through me,

'' Please—,''

I felt tired, almost choking on my own blood as he dropped me to the ground. My shaky body crawled together,

Blaise kneeled beside me, eagerly tugging the waistband of my skirt, and I tried to fight it, but my hands were too weak.

I couldn't lift a finger even if I tried,

The cold air soared my lifeless skin as he ripped my shirt open, the clinking sounds of buttons flying across the floor caused my body to wince,

I knew what they were about to do, something Adrian had done so many times before — I couldn't fight this, and once again, my body belonged to someone else,

I sealed my eyes as I heard his belt unbuckling, chuckles shook their lips as they taunted me.

All I could feel in this moment was relief that they violated _me_ , and no one else, because I was already dead inside, a vacuous body with nothing to lose,

I sensed Blaise's fingers tearing my underwear aside before a vile touch thrust inside me,

I wanted to die. All I wanted to do was to die.

I wished for them to kill me, anything, even dying, would be better than this.

And then, like a ball of light rushing through outer space,

Someone stormed in,

My eyes flayed open just enough to see the tousled strands of blonde hair — the pale porcelain skin — and the silvery grey eyes,

The look of him caused it all to turn dark,

______________


	6. F i v e ,

**This chapter contains scenes of self-harm and violent actions. Please read with caution.**

**___________________**

I clocked my eyes open in a rush, sensing the adrenaline thrusting through my every vessel. My head spun, my heartbeat sought through my ears as I pushed myself up in the bed,

I froze, completely, trying to focus my lofty stare on the blonde-haired boy hunched over his desk chair — head placed in his palms, elbows rested on his knees, my eyes grew wide by the sight of his knuckles, bruised, cut, dried blood smudged out,

My breaths hitched as he noticed, standing tall in his shoes, still dressed in his quidditch uniform, but he didn't speak one single word. He stood frozen in time, grey eyes flickered down to my chest to view the bruised skin hiding beneath the ripped shirt,

I felt my insides twist in pain, my breaths heaving in memory of what they did to me — how they tried to violate me, making Draco hurry up to the bed, dropping to his knees beside me. '' Are you—,'' He rose but quickly hushed down, clenching his jaws,

My mind panicked as I jumped off the mattress, standing almost exposed on the other side of the bed. He blinked quickly as he lowered his sights all over my body, capturing every mark, every cut, every bruise, and my heart ached, not for him but myself.

I felt disgusted, ashamed, mortified that someone else than me had to see the horrible truth carved into my body,

I had never seen much of Draco before. Adrian always kept me to himself, but even if I didn't. I knew that this look on his face, the fallen, beaten, almost scary look, wasn't him.

He flipped around, tearing his sights from the truth standing in front of him, '' I didn't mean to look — my apologizes,'' He mumbled as pale fingers scratched the back of his head, making his beaten knuckles trap my attention again,

Adrian.

My veins iced by the thought of him as I dragged the sheet entirely off the bed, wrapping it around my shaking body,

'' Draco,'' I spoke as my voice burst, my mouth dry with the taste of blood,

He peered over his tense shoulder, sending me a slight nod, avoiding my eyes at all costs. I sucked a deep breath in, " What did you do, Malfoy? Where is—,"

" What did _I_ do?" He hissed, annoyingly, turning around fully, " What did _he_ do to you, Amelie?" The pale skin turned red in anger as the words dripped off his tongue,

I gulped, terrified to admit it even if he had seen the marks to prove it. My chest heaved even more solemn as the anxiety washed over me, " Nothing—," I lied,

" He didn't do anything,"

Draco's eyes shifted darkly at my words, fingers frustratingly clenched into fists, " Don't." He spat through gritted teeth, " _Don't you dare_ defend him. I will go to the headmaster _right_ _now_ , and I swear to god—,"

" Don't," I cried out, the move caught forward caused my ribs to cave, " Please, you don't know what—,"

The stinging pain of my wounds made my eyes pool, " You don't know what he'll do—," I breathed out, shutting my eyes closed in an attempt to manage the pain,

Breathe in,

Breathe out,

Breathe in,

Breathe out,

I cringed, by the touch of Draco's cold hand on my bent back, making me coil back as he pulled his touch away in a heartbeat, '' I'm sorry, Amelie — I didn't,''

My spine collided with the wall behind me, scared that he would hurt me, terrified that he would punish me for lying,

Moments of silence passed as he watched me shakingly sink closer to the wall, his face slowly softened at the terrified look on mine, '' Whatever he's doing to you, Amelie — I'm certain that—,'' He hushed as he caught on to me shaking my head,

'' This has nothing to do with you. Can't you just forget—, I don't even know you enough to—,''

''That's enough,'' He growled, making me quiet down, chewing on my lower lip as he narrowed grey eyes in mine,

'' That's it then? You want me to forget what I saw?'' Arms crossed over his chest, jaws clenched in expectancy for me to answer him,

I felt my nerves rushing in pain as I studied the look on his face. I couldn't remember the last time I held this close to someone that didn't crave to cause me harm, except for Theodore. Draco's skin shunned pale, similar to porcelain, dark eyelashes framed his blue eyes even further,

'' Well?'' He spoke, harshly, taking a track closer, his act caused me to cringe once again, '' Why are you—,''

'' Just—,'' I breathed out through a shaky breath, fearful that he would lay a hand on me, '' Don't—, Please just don't touch me,'' He rose a brow, arms dropped to his sides as he realized that I was scared,

He thought that I was acting up, that I wanted to make thing harder for myself,

But I honestly felt scared,

Terrified to be touched by another person,

'' I'm—,'' His mouth hung open at his last words. Draco didn't know how to do this; neither did I.

I never had to explain the violence Adrian sought me through, to anyone because the only people who knew were the ones who abused me — and Theodore,

Adrian clocked my mind, boring through the surprisingly calm embrace Draco brought. I pushed my back off the wall, making him take a few steps back, '' I should go,'' I spoke, swallowing the fear of facing my ultimate nightmare,

He simply nodded, slowly accepting my request as his eyes grounded, squatting down on his chair again. I dropped the silken sheet, wrapping my torn shirt tightly around myself, leaving him doubtful behind.

My knuckles urgently collided with Theodore's door, only a few feet down from Draco's, " Amelie?" Theodore spoke, wide eyes stared at me in shock,

" What happened?"

I felt my core ache, my mind craving to feel the relief of my own touch, " Adrian—, and Blaise,'' I stuttered, shaking my head at the startled boy in front of me, '' I need you to look for Adrian,''

Theodore's highlights turned in grimace as he leaned onto the doorframe, '' Why would I—,''

'' Please,'' I begged, hewing him off, '' Will you do that for me — please? I have to do something—,'' His eyes grew even broader, sending me a slight nod. He knew it was better not to ask questions, even if he craved to do so,

'' I'll be back, soon,'' I breathed out, forcing a smile to climb my lips, before running down the hall, to the once place my mind could rest,

I instantly rushed up to the bookshelf I always hid behind — pulling out the only book not covered in dust, the book my tool of relief had hidden inside,

The metallic soared against my shaking fingers as I tugged one sleeve off, sliding down to rest on the floor,

I needed to do this, to feel my eyes rolling back as the rush of my pain, _my_ _own_ _pain_ scored throughout me, the only pain I could control,

The only feeling of control I had was this—the power of holding my own pain in my own hands and no one else's.

The blade cut through my sensitive skin in the most breathtaking way; the pale, numb surface turned red, drips of blood flooded down as my head collided with the wood behind me,

Every time, every time the blade ripped my skin, I pushed it more in-depth, nearly hoping for it to dig too deep, wishing for it to rupture more than expected, imagining it to kill me,

This was my out. This was the only way out of the hell my life had become,

Because I took a vow,

The unbreakable one,

To be with him, to preserve our bloodline,

Or to die if I don't.

**____________________**

" I heard from father," Adrian spoke coldly, snapping his neck to mine, " The date is set,"

My veins misted by the thought of it, how Adrian will be a death eater and the power that comes with it, " When?" I stuttered, my body flinched by his arms wrapping around my shoulders, pulling me closer in the sheets,

" In a month," He mumbled, brushing his nose against my neck, " I want you to be there," My ribs ached from his stronghold,

I swallowed, clearing my throat, '' Of course, I will—,'' I breathed out, turning in his grip to face him, '' But why—, why do you need me to be there?''

His green eyes fell softly over mine, a smile rose onto his lips, '' Because I need you. Because we are going to spend the rest of our lives together and I want us to go through it all together,''

The words dropping off his tongue made my heart flutter. His eyes bored straight through mine most kindly. Adrian was my worst nightmare, yet the love my heart desired. He was mean, cruel, heartless most of our time together, but sometimes, in times similar to this one — he was kind, loving, he starred as the boy I once had fallen in love with,

I looked deeply into his eyes, stroking a strand of hair off his forehead, '' I would be honored to be there,'' I smiled, arching my back closer to him, '' I'm just—,''

'' I'm worried about you,'' My words shredded through his cold heart, making him tug me onto him, one leg on each side,

'' Why is that?'' He grinned devilishly, tucking a curl behind my ear as he propped himself up on his elbows, muscles flexing beneath me, '' Why are you worried about me, Amelie?''

My arms clung around his neck as I bent down over him, green eyes still locked in mine, '' Because I love you, Adrian — and I don't want to risk you getting hurt,'' His eyes slightly narrowed in mine, seeking to find honesty in my words,

'' Malfoy hurt me,'' He spoke, clenching his jaws,

'' And he will pay the price for doing so,'' He hissed, making my eyes snap down to the marks around his neck, bruises of fingers and cuts of rings had wounded Adrian's tanned throat,

I never saw Adrian that night — Theodore forbid me from doing so, even if I cried myself to sleep in his arms, he knew better than to allow me to see him in that state. Theodore had found both Adrian and Blaise on the floor in the locker rooms, beaten worse than he'd ever seen anyone before,

'' Adrian,'' I snapped, raising a brow at him, '' It's been a week. Perhaps it's time to let that night go,'' His soft face tightened, once again narrowing his eyes in mine as he shoved me aside, making my spine collide with the mattress,

'' Of course,'' He hissed, fingers annoyingly rushed through his hair, '' Of course you'd want _your_ precious Malfoy to go without punishment,'' The change in his vocals made my blood freeze, and before I knew the word of it — Adrian's hands flew to my neck as he towered over me,

'' You _disgusting_ slut — did you suck him off?'' He questioned me through gritted teeth, his voice broke in anger, '' Did you _fuck_ him, Amelie?''

My hands tried to pry his off, yet I didn't stand a chance. All his weight was focused on suffocating the answer out of me. I shut my eyes closed, trying to shake my head at his violent behavior,

'' No—, No—, I didn't—,'' I sought to breathe out, but only whimpers trembled off my lips,

The look in his eyes grew evil as my oxygen almost ceased me. The evil in him pleasured the torture, the torture he craved to put me through. It was likely an addiction. Adrian needed to harm me, to hurt me. He needed to feel the ease it brought him as he heard me cry out in pain, to feel my body caving beneath his,

He arched close, warm breaths fanned my ear, '' Don't forget that you took a vow, Amelie,''

'' Don't forget that you promised on your life to be with me, to stay faithful to me,''

My eyes leveled his as my lips parted in need of air,

'' Because if you don't do as promised,'' He held, biting his lower lip in satisfaction, fingers ripped the tender skin of my neck,

'' I will be the one to kill you,''

My chest heaved heavily against his, before I gasped, feeling his fingers torn off my skin as he shoved himself off, " Don't make me kill you, Amelie," He spat as I crawled back in the covers, striving to catch my breath, feeling tears flowing down my pale cheeks,

" Because I will."

He stormed out, devising me heartbroken behind,

I moved my knees to my chest, trying to process the words Adrian apprised me with. He wanted to be the one to kill me, he wanted—,

My body jolted up from the bed as a knock hit my door,

I froze, scared to death that had returned, that the satisfaction of nearly strangling me wasn't enough,

Another knock struck the timber,

I swallowed in despair before my fingers shakingly winded the metal of the doorknob,

My eyes grew broad by the beaten look of the girl standing before me,

" Pansy?" I breathed out. Her eyes stunned swollen red, mouth hung open in disbelief as she forced herself past me into my room,

" What are you—," I rose before the sob clearing her throat hewed me off, the brown strands of hair messy over her head, her clothes almost ripped off her body,

She bit her lip, blood drenched the bottom one — she looked ghastly, broken as she trod back and forth in panic in front of me,

" Amelie," She throbbed, her hands anxiously tugged her hair,

" I'm pregnant,"

______________________


	7. S i x ,

**This chapter contains scenes of self-harm. Please read with caution.**   
**_______________**

'' I'm pregnant,''

I gawked at her wide-eyed, jaws dropped as every thought possible rushed through my head. She's pregnant, with Adrian, _she's with child_ , and it has to be Adrian's,

The mixture of relief and agony faltered as Pansy merely stood there, looking at me in incredulity, holding for me to speak my mind, but I couldn't form the words stuck in my throat,

'' Is it—,'' I breathed, my lips trembled as I felt my knees weakened, '' Did he—,''

Her body stumbled up to mine before she fell into pieces — I felt her bones caving, her sobs echoing, her heart breaking. She truly was broken. '' Pansy—, please tell me, did Adrian do this to you?''

Her eyes locked in mine, and without question, I realized that he had mishandled her as well, the truth in her eyes fated and paralleled to the one I had in mine, tears flooded to drown her cheeks as she tucked her head in my chest.

I had faced this suffering for years and years, if not by Adrian, then from my father. I've felt it a million times, as the first wave of vilifying hits you, it's commonly a bad word, a cruel look, yet soonly shifts into a rough touch, a no is taken for a yes,

And then,

You're moored,

The choices you always thought to have, the possibility of right and wrong, would never be yours again. The body you owned, your body, isn't yours anymore. It's someone else's, to do as they pleased with,

I didn't have a choice,

I had to live through this,

But not Pansy — she never swore her life to this hell, she was unchained, and I would see to it that she stays free, because if there's anything, Adrian sought to do, to bereave you off without warning,

Is your freedom, and every reason you may have to live,

My eyes flickered down to the girl beneath me, holding onto me with everything she had, '' I will help you. I will help you, Pansy, in every way possible, but—,'' I whispered into her shaking head, '' I have to bring someone here, who knows what to do,''

I left Pansy on my bed, locking the door behind me as I rushed out in the hallways — seeking to find the fastest way to the Slytherin common room. I needed to find Theodore. He was the only one to know how to handle this, to control her,

In this state, looking at her tore my heart in two — Pansy deserved much in this life. She had caused me such pain, but not this. No one deserves this.

I marched my way down the stairs to the dungeons; my breaths hitched the second I saw them. I saw _him._ I never dared to speak to Draco following the incident, Adrian would've lost his mind, and I was ashamed,

No,

I was mortified. Draco had watched me crumbling down, he watched my body in torture, my mind vein. He knew things he shouldn't know, and that terrified me,

'' Amelie?'' Theodore broke the silence, tumbling in my head, '' What are you doing here?'' I stood frozen on the last step of stairs, my eyes darted between the two boys resting on the couch,

'' I—,'' I heaved, my fingers frustratingly tugged at the end of my sweater, '' I need you to come with me, Theodore—,'' I whispered, eyes snapped to Draco's before flooring,

'' Something happened,''

'' What happened?'' Draco's voice managed to score through my whole existence, making my eyes flicker up to please his again — and there it was, the concern, the crease fixed into his forehead, the furrowed brows breaking through his cold surface,

Theodore stood tall on his feet, walking over with quick steps, '' What do you need?'' He mumbled, placing a hand on my cheek. I struggled not to cry, not to tell him what Adrian had done to Pansy,

'' I need you to go to my room, you'll understand when you get there — please?'' I begged him, his eyes grew wide as he rose a brow, '' What are you—,''

'' Please,'' I pleaded once more, even if I knew I never had to. Theodore would do anything for me, and I would do more than everything for him,

Green hodded eyes bored through mine as he slightly nodded, tucking a curl behind my ear, his hand lingered on my cheek, tracing circles and by that touch, his thumb gently rubbing my skin, combined with him, looking deeply into my eyes — my breaths calmed, my blood stopped rushing,

'' Of course,'' He spoke softly, '' I'll find you later,'' He placed a kiss on top of my head before pulling his touch away, leaving me bare and hollow behind. I looked after him as he went; the blonde-haired boy still seated on the couch slipped my mind for a fleeting second,

I flinched, at the sound of Draco stepping closer, '' What is _this_?'' He hissed, annoyingly, eyes flashed in anger as he nodded towards the door, '' Why are you and Nott—,''

'' We're not—,'' I breathed out, lowering my sights as he stopped merely a foot away, '' Theodore is—, He's not—,'' I stuttered, not efficient in finding my words — the memory of Theodore begging me to keep his secret safe clouded my mind as I snapped my neck to his,

'' It's complicated,'' I lied,

Draco raised a brow, furrowing them after, the corner of his mouth twisted in disgust, '' It's complicated?'' He taunted me before icing look claimed his front, '' If he's hurting you — you should—,''

My blood began to boil. My heart pounded throughout my ears as I lost my temper completely '' Would you just stop, Draco?'' I shouted, hewing him off. He looked at me, startled, shocked, almost doubtful before his face turned cold as mine fell,

'' You don't know anything,'' I whimpered, fighting to keep the tears in place, '' I'm sorry, but please, just—, stay out of it,'' He took a step back at my words, feeling a tear rolling down my cheek as he noticed,

'' This is the second time you've asked me to leave this alone, and I've been patient with you because I know _exactly_ what Adrian is capable of, but if you don't want my help—,'' He held, jaws tensed as he rushed a pale, ring coated hand trough this hair,

'' You're nothing more than an _ungrateful_ _witch,_ and I don't know why I even bothered,'' He closed, grey eyes narrowed in mine before he tore away, rushing up the stairs,

I felt my insides coil, my breaths heavy as I stalked out to the only place I could find peace.

The words Draco spoke _hurt_.

More than I believed they would, words tended to flood off me the second they're recognized, but not this time, not his words.

I needed to feel _relief,_

All I did these days was to crave ease, and nothing else mattered,

I urged the book out of its place, ripping it open to note the blade as I slipped down, my back pressed against the bookshelf. The edge scored with my inner thigh this time, the cut tore a straight blood-drenched line along my pale skin,

And then again,

And again,

And again,

I was out of control. My fingers painted red as my eyes rolled back, taking in the ease, the course I finally held over my own skin,

And again,

The cuts graved deeper, the blood flooded, and all I felt was a relief and without clearing how deep the slits shredded,

I forced the edge into my thigh, again,

'' Amelie?'' His voice made my whole self wince as I clocked my eyes open, '' Amelie, that's enough—,'' 

I flew to my feet, folding my skirt back down as I felt paths of blood trailed down my skin. I peered around in panic, scared that anyone else might see me. The tensed look on Draco's front made my blood ice, grey eyes shredded through mine,

I felt myself swallowing thickly before I stretched my spine, standing tall next to the furious Slytherin, '' Draco, you shouldn't—,''

'' Do I have to tell Nott about this? Is that what it takes for you to stop doing—,'' He breathed, grey eyes searched my figure, clocking to the blood tracing down my thigh, _'' This?''_

My mind dizzy of his confrontation, my breaths stuck in my throat, lips trembling as eyes pooled, '' Draco—, I—,'' I sniffed before raising the metallic to my wrist, my hands shook in anxiety,

Silence, he looked at me, frightened as something inside of me snapped, everything snapped,

Adrian, Pansy, Draco, Theo, Blaise, Hermione, myself,

Everything became too much as the edge roughly clout the tender skin, '' Amelie—, please don't do this,'' The blonde one coiled his arms around me, his tone hoarse as I fought the touch he desperately craved to give, '' Stop—,''

The metallic piece scored to the ground as blood kept drenching, '' Please—, Draco,'' I starved, but he merely missed my pleas by holding me closer, defying every slap, every shove, every push,

" I want to die,"

" Please let me die,"

I tried, with everything I had to pry him off. The touch he brought made me sick, nauseous. I never asked for it. I didn't want it,

Somewhere in between all the tears and the constant agony of another touch. I missed myself, my reason for wanting this, my reason to live,

'' Think about Theodore, Amelie,'' Draco breathed into my neck as he held me, '' Think about Theodore and follow my breath. Will you do that for me, Amelie? ,'' He repeated himself, and I did, without hesitation.

My mind clocked to the brown-haired boy my heart cared for, my best friend as my body gave into Draco's, my head heavy, '' Good, Amelie—,'' He cooed, his fingers curled into fists around mine, '' Now, focus on your breaths, as you did last week—, remember?''

Breathe in,

Breathe out,

Draco's breaths calmed mine, his arms clenched as he felt my body caving, '' Good, you're doing so good,'' He mumbled, kneeling to the floor with me hugged to his chest, '' Amelie—, keep breathing for me, keep focusing on my breaths,''

Breathe in

Breathe out,

I rested in his hold as my entire body shook uncontrollably, my skin queried. I did everything possible to stay hushed in his arms,

'' Amelie—,'' He heaved, letting his arms off me, '' Do you want me to get Nott for you? " He scratched the back off his head as he raised from his seated position,

My eyes remained grounded, confused within myself as I nodded. Draco turned around, striving to find my best friend,

'' Why?'' I gasped, feeling my cheeks dry with tears. He stopped in his tracks as the black blazer hugged his tense shoulders, eyes flashed in anger, '' Why are you doing this, Draco?''

'' Why do I do _what_ , exactly?'' He snarled, flinging around to face me, "Enlighten me, please,'' He urged, narrowing ashen eyes in mine,

I felt a wave of doubt lingering as Draco's face turned cold, " Why would you do that for me? Why would you help me? You don't even know—,"

" What?" He snapped again, hewing me off, taking a boot closer, " What don't I know?" He rose a brow as I silently stood frozen before him,

He shook his head, huffing annoyingly, " Do you think that you're the only one who's father— _lectures_ _you_ , Amelie?" The words leaving his shaking lips caused my heart to ache,

" Don't you think I know how it feels when the cigar _burns_ through your skin?" Pearly eyes still tore through mine, '' How you _scream_ within when he forces it further — because you don't dare to open your mouth,''

_He's been through this,_

" How every punch, every slap, every forbidden spell hurts a little less over time," I swallowed, staring back at him,

" Don't you think I know that?" He hissed, teeth gritted, " But I learned how to manage the pain, Amelie — and so should you because this won't stop _until_ _you make it stop_ ,"

Draco stood close, usually too close for comfort, as I searched his eyes, the honesty ripped through them like the wind at a mighty sea,

He was broken,

He fated the same variety as I did,

And I never knew,

" You have to make it stop, Amelie," He nearly shouted, a dark chuckle escaped his throat, " Or you'll end up like _this_ ," Draco caught a step back, slowly unbuttoning his shirt,

My eyes grew wide with each button, my breaths missed as I stared at the marks fixed in his skin, the pale porcelain skin, ruptured by faded scars, _all over_ ,

Cuts of knives,

Bruises of belts,

Burns of cigars,

All faded into a beautiful mess over his light skin,

I felt my eyes pool, the lump stuck in my throat increased, " Draco, I—," I stammered, struggling to glace away, to not stare at the truth before me, but I couldn't,

He knew _the_ pain. He knew _my_ pain,

And I knew his,

" You see, Amelie—," He cleared his throat, " You're _not_ the only one," Draco buttoned his shirt back up before straightening his jacket,

" I don't know how Adrian treats you, but _this_ — _,"_ He seethed, snatching my cut wrist, hauling it for a better view, " _This_ is _not_ the answer,"

" Trust me,"

With that, he shredded away, storming out of the library,

It was with heavy steps I walked back to my room, in need of cleaning myself up, blood fled down my leg as I pushed my door open,

" Good, you're here," Hermione smiled, catching me off guard, feeling my eyes flickered between the three students resting on my bed, confused as to why they're still here,

My views snapped to Theodore, holding Pansy's trembling body in a steady grip, " What are you—" I heaved, locking sights with Pansy as her eyes swelled in tears, her chest moved heavily,

I felt my face soften at the look of hers. She soared even more beaten, " Can I talk to you?" Theodore shrugged, slightly nodding towards the bathroom,

" What is it—, does she—," I rose as he locked the door behind us, but he merely shook his head at me, making me quiet down.

He stared emptily at the door before glaring back at me, his bushy brows furrowed, mouth twitchy, " Well?" I urged,

" Did he do this to her, because she won't tell me, she's—,"

I sighed, feeling his breaths heated — he shifted upset as his temper coiled, " Yes—," I spoke, softly, '' But Theodore, it's not—,''

He stared at me, eyes hooded, almost weary, " Why?" He breathed out, " Why does _he_ have the privilege of doing whatever he wants when he wants it—," His voice tore through my ears, eyes flickered in anger,

'' Why does he have the power of toying with people's lives?'' Theodore's breaths ragged, sounding furious as I shoed closer, cupping my hands around his cheeks, thumbs rubbing the flushed skin,

'' Theodo—,''

" _No_ , this needs to stop—, right now," He shut me up, prying my touch off his before he rushed past me. I could feel his skin burning, his eyes resentful,

'' He's done enough,''

I watched as he poured out, my heart broke in anguish, veins rushed in ache. I peered over at both Hermione and Pansy, resting puzzled as I shot them a soft glare, running out to find my best friend,

Once again, I was running towards the Slytherin common room, my thighs still mantled by paths of blood, but I didn't care. I couldn't.

I knew how much it took for Theodore to raise this upset, and I would never dare for him to get hurt,

I know how far Adrian habited to handle things,

How far he enjoyed to go,

My palms collided with the heavy wooden door as I caught shouts, screams, spells being thrown and the second I stumbled down the stairs, my eyes placed on the three boys, wands pointed towards each other,

'' Crucio,''

_____________


	8. S e v e n ,

**This chapter contains scenes of abuse and violent actions. Please read with caution.**

**_______________________**

'' Do it. I fucking dare you—, '' Adrian shouted as I stumbled down the stairs, my heart ached out of the merciless vocals slipping his tongue, '' Go ahead then, Nott. Do your fucking worst.''

My knees weakened the second I watched Adrian raise his wand, '' No, _please_ stop it,'' I cried out, but my voice hardly sounded within the walls of the common room. They were too upset, the tension between them thickened as my eyes met the grey ones,

Draco's eyes begged mine for a fleeting second before snapping back to the two arguing boys before us, '' Adrian, please,'' I pleaded, stepping in front of Theodore, hearing his shaking breaths behind me, '' Please, Adrian — come with me, we don't need to do this—,''

'' Keep your mouth shut, you _filthy_ —,'' He rose but quickly hushed as he peered over at Draco, clearing his throat, '' _Love_ , you shouldn't be here, go back to your room.'' His voice tore through my ears,

My eyes pleaded his, taking a few steps forward, '' Adrian, you don't—,''

'' Amelie, stop it— just stop it.'' Theodore shoved me aside, looking down at me with fright, '' He's done too much — I can't be a part of this anymore,'' He breathed out in panic, his wand sharping against Adrian,

Draco's steps echoed closer, wanting to step between them, but Theodore merely raised his hand, '' Stay out of this, Malfoy,'' He spat, eyes still locked in Adrian's, '' This has to end, Pucey — you can keep—,'' He held as my eyes flickered to Adrian's, the darkness clouding his mind almost became overwhelming,

He took a dangerous step up to Theodore, eyes snapping between us before a devilish smirk arched his lips, '' It will always be _this_ — won't it?'' He grinned, slightly nodding at us,

'' It will always be the two _best_ _friends_ ,'' Adrian mocked, narrowing green eyes in mine, '' Enjoy it while you can, _love_ — because the second we're out of school, I will lock you up somewhere, and you will never —,''

I winced back, dropping to the floor, the second Theodore's fist collided with Adrian's jaw, again and again, until Adrian fell to his knees, blood drained his chin as a chuckle scored his throat.

My shouts did nothing as I pushed myself off the ground, trying to pry myself in between them,

My heart hammering within my chest, '' Theodo—,'' Two cold hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me aside, and the blonde one forced himself in the middle of them, '' That's enough,'' Draco growled, '' You're acting like complete fools, both of you.'' His neck snapped, and the silence greeted us only their heavy breaths circled,

'' I will kill you, you son of a—,'' Before Adrian even had the chance to speak his mind, he had his wand deeply dug into Theodore's neck, the other hand yanking his head back, '' Is this what you want, Amelie?'' Adrian seethed, my eyes pooled of what I'd witnessed, face twisted in disbelief,

'' I warned you, Nott — didn't I? I told you if you ever interfered with my life again, that I would kill you—,'' Trails of dark laughs escaped his lips as he continued, '' But still, here you are, putting your bloody nose where it doesn't belong,''

I knew exactly what this meant — the power Adrian's family possessed would free him of anything. He knew that he could do whatever he pleases, and not a single consequence would erupt his life. He had the might to take my best friend away, to cease me of the one person that's keeping me sane in all the madness, and he would do it without remorse,

Adrian stared into Theodore's eyes, his wand scratching deeply as I felt my back colliding with the wall behind me, running my hands through my hair in defeat. It was him or my best friend. The boy my whole self belonged to, or the boy who continually saves my life,

My fist curled around my wand as I rose it, noticing Adrian's lips parting, his grip of Theodore's neck tensing, '' Avada—,''

'' Crucio,''

My spell tore roughly through Adrian's every vessel as he once again dropped to his knees. Both Draco and Theodore snapped necks to mine, looking at me wide-eyed, but my mind was numb, and all I saw was Theodore,

He rushed closer, wrapping his arms around my trembling figure, holding me closer than he had ever done before, '' Amelie—,'' He breathed into my hair, feeling the warm breaths panting on my skin, '' Amelie—, are you alright?'' The hold of my breaking body tensed even more as tears fled my cheeks,

Theodore yanked away, cupping my cheeks in his hands, staring intensely into my eyes, lips parted but not a word escaped them. He was breathless by the screams of Adrian's torture shredding the room,

'' Nott—, '' Draco spoke, jaws clenching, '' She needs to stop this,'' Theodore swallowed, thickly, before hesitatingly looking down at the wand clenching in my fist. His hand dropped to level mine, softly easing my hold by sneaking his fingers in between mine,

'' It's alright —, Amelie,'' He whispered, the hand still on my cheek traced soft circles, his eyes pleasing mine, flashes of worry bolted through them, '' You're alright —, I have you, ''

'' I always have you,''

I felt my insides twist, standing petrified with my eyes locked in his. The words he spoke shattered me, feeling my fingers completely surrender my wand, the blood rushing within me froze, " There you go," He mumbled, twisting it to end Adrian's misery,

Theodore backed away, green eyes flickered to Draco, " Take her out of here," He spoke, running a hand through his hair, face arching in doubt, " No one can know about this, do you understand that, Malfoy?"

'' No one,''

Draco's features bent in grimace, staring emptily at me as my sights grounded until the second I caught Adrian's groans, still crawled up on the floor. My courage missed me, the way his hands clutched his torso, his chest heaving up and down with force, trying to seize the failing breaths,

'' Adrian—,'' I whimpered, kneeling beside him, '' Adrian—, no—,'' My tears rushed as my breaths hitched. This was too much — I had hurt him. I had used one of the cruelest of spells on the boy I loved,

I winced back by the cold touch caressing my shoulder, '' Amelie—,'' Draco whispered, but I didn't care. I couldn't. My head buried into Adrian's chest as I clung onto his neck, '' Please—,'' I begged in silence, '' Please—, forgive me —,'' My words left my lips in stutters, barely a shaky break had the possibility of feeling my trembling self,

'' Malfoy,'' Theodore endangered through shouting once more, and Draco did as told. He prayed me off Adrian, sticking his arms below my back and legs as he carried me away,

I was heartbroken, destroyed within the fence of my own skin. The shivers crawled my surface as I felt Draco's cold touch soaring onto my warm one,

'' Let me go, Draco—,'' I shouted through tears as he carried me further down the hallway, '' Please, just—,'' I cried out, '' Just let me see him, this isn't—,'' Draco's hands tensed around my waist as he dropped me to my feet,

Grey eyes bored through mine, '' This isn't _what_ —,'' He snapped, staring straight through me, drops of sweat fled his forehead, '' He was going to _kill_ Theodore, Amelie — don't you understand that?'' My chest moved roughly, standing close,

I forced my palms into his chest, shoving him back from me, '' He wouldn't do that — No, no, no.'' I gasped, my hands moved to haul my hair, dragging strands of it back as panic rushed through my veins, '' He wouldn't do that—,''

My eyes clocked to Draco's, looking at him as he stood frozen before me. My eyes drained in tears, rolling down my flushed cheeks, '' Tell me he wouldn't — Draco,'' I pleaded, feeling every emotion imaginable chewing inside,

'' Tell me he didn't—,'' My voice hushed as I realized that he did. Adrian did. He tried to kill Theodore, and still, I couldn't grasp the truth because my heart belonged to him,

It beat,

It broke,

It loved,

It ached,

For him, and him only,

Draco's hand touching mine made my whole body cringe, my breaths stuck in my throat, and then, something snapped,

I pushed him. I shoved him. I hit him. I did everything possible to take my feelings out on him, to let someone else suffer for once and not myself. He wrapped his hands around my wrists, shoving me back to the stone covered wall,

Draco's breaths heaved heavily, despair broke through his vocals, " I can help you," His face shifted at the stare of mine, a fallen look rose as he pinned my arms further, " Let me _fucking_ help you,''

I shook my head, yanking my arms, doing absolutely everything to free myself from his hold. I felt his body pressed against mine, '' Fucking stop,'' He shouted, his hoarse tone caused me to obey him without doubt,

Several moments of silence ticked with his eyes narrowed in mine, blonde strands of hair fell messy over his temples, minty breaths fanned mine, and for a second, yet a brief one — I didn't mind him standing close. I didn't resent the way his skin felt on mine,

'' I know how to help you—,'' He broke he quietness, blinking quickly, '' I have done it before,'' His words earned a confused look to rise on my highlights, the withered tears tasted dry on my skin as he slowly underhanded his grip,

I chewed my bottom lip, my eyes wide in panic, as he gently placed my hands on my sides, booting back. His hands shoved into his pockets, '' I don't know what else to say, Amelie — I've done this before. I've helped—,''

He held views floored as his mouth twitched '' What, Draco?'' I spoke, tilting my head for him to look at me, '' What do you mean by that, _helped_? '' His eyes snapped back to mine, shooting me a guilty look,

My eyes searched his, brows furrowed as I realized, '' It was you—,''

I could hear him swallow from feet away, a veiny hand rushed through his hair, slightly tugging it back, '' You helped Theodore. You—,'' My words made his face turn to stone, lips pressed into a firm line,

'' I did no such thing—,''

'' Yes, you did,''

Grey eyes drilled through mine, impatience chewed on his nerves as he looked away, noticing the students walking closer from down the hall, '' I don't know what you're talking about, and even if I did, that is none of your concern.'' His tone scored low, nearly threatening,

He shoed forward, my nostrils filled with the scent of mint and fresh cotton, '' Meet me, tomorrow in the library, and I'll show you—,'' With that, he spun around, taking sharp, quick steps away from me, leaving me standing against the wall,

Terrified, lonely, numb.

The anxiety and craving to ease my pain washed over me as I pushed myself off the wall,

" Miss Avery," The headmaster's voice turned me around, noticing him marching closer. " I've come to understand that forbidden magic was used earlier, and such dark matters have consequences,"

" You and I need to have a word,"

_____________


	9. E i g h t ,

**This chapter contains scenes of abuse and violent actions. Please read with caution.**

**And for your information. I have decided to make Theodore bisexual.**

____________________________

My back scored cold against the chair across from the massive desk, white strands of beard fell completely over his chest, " Would you mind inform me about how this year has been treating you this far, miss Avery?" His tone gentle yet harsh,

I blinked quickly, veins rushing in dread, feeling my fists clenching around the worn wood of the armrest, '' I suppose it has been going well,'' I uttered, shyly,

'' You suppose so?'' He took after, raising a brow as his pale hand stroked over the lengthy stubble, '' Why is that miss Avery, that you only, _suppose_ _so_?'' Dumbledore's eyes narrowed in mine as he arched over his desk, settling his elbows on it,

'' I—,'' I stuttered, hesitatingly chewing my bottom lip, '' I don't know, sir. The year has barely begun,'' My fingers dug into the timber of the chair as he slowly nodded, letting out a loud sigh,

I flinched back in my chair as he rose from his, the grey cloak hauled behind him as he stepped around me, humming for himself, '' I told you earlier — that I was informed of the forbidden magic being used on school property,'' He cleared his throat harshly, '' And that the consequences of such evil acts are severe,''

" It's completely inappropriate to use that type of spells, Miss Avery,"

My eyes shut as my blood iced, veins nearly freezing by the words leaving his lips, '' But I happen to be _aware_ of the situation surrounding you, miss Avery—,'' He held, placing a comforting hand on my tensed shoulder, making my eyes flare open,

'' Both at home, and—, _here_.''

I felt my insides twist; shame washed over me as my head fell to peer down at my knees. I never wished for anyone to know — but the tells of the death eaters and their families spread worse than fire, there was no secret in how the children of the doomed families come to be treated,

'' I wish to look past your cruel deeds, because in your _situation_ , such matter is simply self-defense, but unfortunately, I was required to notify your father of these acts, and he will be attending Hogwarts shortly,'' My breaths hitched as I flung around in the chair, staring straight at the tall man behind me,

'' My father is on his way?'' I almost whimpered, my bones caving, '' He's coming _here_?'' Dumbledore slightly shook his head, granting me a soft glare before he turned around, walking towards the stairs in his office,

He peered over his shoulder as he strolled up, '' I will speak with him, but I am afraid that he wishes to have a word with you as well,''

'' In the meantime — I think someone is waiting for you downstairs,'' His steps echoed further as I turned around. My body trembled while forcing myself off the chair, straightening my skirt,

I walked down the stairs with heavy steps, leaving the mysterious room behind me — my mind curled in agony, my courage missed me as I thought of it. My father will find out about how I practiced dark magic on someone, and the fact that it was Adrian makes everything even worse — he worships the Pucey's as they honor us, the loyalty between our bloodlines is set in stone, and what I had done,

Was unacceptable,

I had brought shame upon my father's name,

My eyes immediately snapped to the brown-haired boy anxiously leaning against a hallway wall, his fingers twitching as he chewed his nails — something Theodore always tends to do when he's upset. He would bite them till they bleed,

He caught my shoe the second I walked off the last steps, and he froze, his eyes grew wide as he watched the defeated look rasing on my features, his breaths shallowed for every boot I seized closer until we held inches apart,

I could feel the quivering breaths escaping his lips as he looked at me, the mixture of hurt and guilt flashed through the green eyes before narrowing them in mine — neither of us spoke one single word. We merely stood there, frozen in pain for moments, and then, without warning — Theodore wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into the safe warmness,

I fought the tears urging to fall, the feeling of not knowing caved from within, '' This was my fault, it was stupid of me — I shouldn't have—,'' I whispered into his shoulder, feeling his hands flying to my waist, pushing me off him,

'' You don't get to do that, do you understand?'' He shouted, jaws tensing, '' You don't get to apologize for him anymore. If this is someone's fault — it's mine,'' He paused, sucking in a deep breath, his fingers dug into my flesh, '' It's my fault. I allowed this to go on for too long — he tried to kill me, Amelie,''

'' He tried to kill me, and—,''

'' And I—,''

Theodore's arms dropped to his sides as he swallowed, trying to suffocate the pain soaring through his every nerve, '' And I can't even believe how many times he wanted to kill you,'' His shoulders fell, his head hung as his stare grounded,

'' I'm sorry, Amelie. I was supposed to protect you from this, not looking away when I knew it was happening,''

My best friend's voice broke, words left in whimpers as I clung my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. I felt my tears failing me, pouring down my drained cheeks as I buried my head in the crook of his neck, '' I love you so much,'' He whispered, wrapping two strong arms around my waist, '' I love you so much, and I will never look away again — I promise,''

I held him with everything I had, and he held me with more — he made everything better, easier, he made things safe in a world of uncertainty. My nostrils filled with his scent of honey and warmth, '' I love you too, Theo,'' I mumbled into the fabric of his robe, tending away to rest my forehead against his, '' Never leave me,''

He looked at me, eyes shun in liquid as he noticed the dried tears coating my skin, '' I would rather die,'' He spoke, truthfully, tilting his head for a better view,

'' How did it go, with Dumbledore?''

I merely shook my head, peering down at the stone-covered floor, " It wasn't—,"

 _" Miss Avery,"_ Professor Snape hewed me off from down the hall, making both Theodore and I turn to face him, " Your attendance is needed. Your father is expecting you in my classroom."

I felt Theodore's entire body tensing, jaws clenched as breaths ragged. He doubtfully looked down at me, worry spread on his face, " Your father?" He questioned me, " Why didn't you tell me—,"

Professor Snape cleared his throat, impatiently stamping his foot against the ground, " Let's not keep your father waiting," He mumbled, brushing black strands of greasy hair off his forehead,

I shut my eyes closed, breathing heavily as I slipped out of Theodore's hold, forcing a smile while looking at him, " I'll find you later, alright?"

________________

I closed the classroom door behind me, eyes leveling my fathers brown one's as he stood in the front of the room with arms crossed over his chest, " Took you long enough," He snarled, disappointment shredded through his raspy voice, " Always so obedient,"

I didn't dare to answer, my eyes locked in his as he pushed himself off the counter, '' Do you know why I'm here?'' He spoke with no expression on his face, not a single emotion shunned his worn look, '' Answer me,''

'' I do,'' I uttered as he rose a brow, eyes grew wide, '' I do—, _sir_.'' I corrected myself to his pleasure, hearing him breathe sharply through his nose,

'' Then perhaps you can enlighten me—,'' He hoisted, fingers digging into his own arm to control the temper he usually missed, '' Why you would ever, and I mean ever, embarrass my mane the way you did today,'' The last words spoken, tore through the room,

I felt my back pressed against the massive door behind me, my fingers curling into fists as I tried not to break down, '' I can not do that,''

He stormed closer, halting feet away, making the curls of hair fall over my shoulders as I cringed back, '' You can not do that?'' He repeated through mocking, vocals bursting in sarcasm as a dark chuckle fled his lips, '' And why is that Amelie —, why are you not able to explain yourself?"

My brown eyes bored through his as he looked straight at me, his mouth twitched into a grin as mine parted, '' Adrian—,'' I held askant, but the burning look in his eyes caused my bravery to fail me completely,

'' Adrian tried to kill Theodore,''

My father stared at me, eyes hooded, lips pressed into a firm line by my confession before he spun around, pressing his palms into a desk, '' Adrian tried to kill Theodore?'' He hissed, and without even looking, I knew his teeth to be gritted, '' How?''

The lump in my throat grew, chewing my bottom lip, '' He tried to use—, '' I swallowed, '' The unforbidden spell,'' His head snapped to mine, brows furrowed, his mind swirled as silence fogged around us — only the sound of the ticking clock in the far back audited,

After several moments of staring at my trembling figure, he seized a step forward, his large hand gripped my small chin, yanking my head back, '' Did you speak of this with anyone? Is Nott well kept?'' I slightly shook my head, nodding after as he shot me a pleasing look,

The short-cut nails scratched into my tender skin, '' Well, then I suppose it's only one more matter to be taken care of before I leave,'' He yanked my head back, taking a shoe away, '' You have caused shame upon my name, Amelie — and you will be lessoned not to,''

My father's hand delved into the folder of his pants before hauling up his wand, steering it straight at me, '' Let's give you a taste of your own medicine, shall we?'' He laughed, shrugging his shoulders, lightly rolling his head, '' On my count,''

I knew what this meant. I knew precisely what my father craved to do with me, and I let him every time, without as much as a word, I sealed my eyes, digging my nails deeply into my palms, firmly enough for blood to slip between my fingers,

'' Sectumsempra,''

The green light of his wand tore through me as I dropped to my knees — the need for oxygen graced, overwhelming by my father's cruel persona, but I didn't scream anymore. I didn't beg. I didn't plead for him to stop. This was torture of the worst kind, but I had suffered it to many times before — I learned how to tame it, how every deep breath made the blood trickle quicker,

He towered over me, glaring down at me as blood kept soaking my uniform, the metallic taste soared as I chocked on my own blood, the sole of his boot pressed painfully into my chest, feeling my lungs running out of air — a trail of whimpers bolted my lips, but barely,

I felt my eyes heavy, my chest heaving slower with each breath, my mind clouded by the warm light welcoming me,

I wanted to die, enter the world of good, heaven, and my mother, I know to be waiting for me. I was ready to, but he never allowed it — I kenned that he still needed me, no — he needed the blood running through my veins, he required his beloved legacy to keep our bloodline in check.

I felt his wand brushing over my dying self, healing the mess he created, my wounds straining together,

My father stood tall on his feet once again, devilishly smirking, " Don't do something to draw shame over me, ever again — _or the next time_ ," He laughed,

" You won't come back, just like your mother never did."

He turned in his steps, dragging his coat over his tall body, " I expect you to attend the ceremony for Adrian next week." Another evil laugh scored his throat before he shoved the door open, devising me all crawled up on the floor,

__________________

My ears pounded in hurt as my head felt heavy on the pillow. I didn't leave my room for the rest of that horrible day — not even the morning after. I just wanted to be alone, to be left alone without anyone near,

I hated myself and everything my father had ever put me through,

I hated everything.

And I needed to ease it.

To ease everything.

As the nightfall rose, the students going back to their dorms, and the castle shredded empty. I finally made my way out. My body stumbled weakly through the halls down to the only place my mind felt peace, the place my breaths were mine, and my skin served nobody but myself,

I cringed the second I pushed the door to the library open — eyes leveling grey ones as he rolled them. My center arched in agony as I noticed the fallen look over his pale highlights. He merely slammed his book shut, shaking his head,

I strolled up to the table he seated next to, slipping down on the chair beside his, '' I'm sorry—,'' I began, but the loud groans fleeing his edges shut me up. I blinked quickly, sensing the guilt nagging at my conscience,

The lump grew thickly in my throat, eyes almost pooling — he wanted to help me, even if I'd never come to understand why, he wanted to help me,

And that was something that didn't fell around me too often, someone caring enough to act on it.

I stared over at him, my fingers twitching as they nervously intertwined with each other, only the sound of our shallow breaths circled,

'' What did Nott tell you?'' He broke the quietness, glaring straight at me. His words earned a confused look painting onto my features as he noticed,

'' About me —, _helping_ him?'' I could tell that the terms felt disgusting on his tongue — I didn't know much about Draco Malfoy. I never cared enough to do so, but something that I always saw, something everyone knew, was how reluctant he was towards feeling — he performed cold, not attached to anyone, and perhaps that was for the better.

I shook my head, chewing my lower lip as I turned to face him ultimately, '' All of it,''

Draco narrowed grey eyes in mine, the corner of his mouth bending, '' All of it?'' He hissed, annoyingly, a large, ring coated hand tugged at his tie. I rolled my eyes away from him, leaning back into the chair, drawing my knees to hug my chest,

'' Yes, all of it — and what you did for him, how you taught him to manage pain and to stand up to his father—,'' I swallowed, tilting my head to rest on my knees, grey eyes still locked in mine, '' That was—, I can't thank you enough, Draco,''

My words made him visibly comfortless, eyebrows furrowed as he peered down at the table again, '' I suppose he _did_ tell you everything,'' The blonde one mumbled, slightly shaking his head, making strands of blonde hair to fall messy over his temples,

His mouth pressed into a firm line, eyes flickering up to please mine as he allowed them to gaze all over, almost studying me before his eyes clocked my shoulder — spotting that my sweater had slipped down, revealing the bruised skin of my father's violence,

I ripped my sights away, quickly hauling up the fallen piece of fabric — feeling the uncertainty cleansing over me, '' I heard your father visited Hogwarts yesterday,'' He muttered, almost beneath his breath, '' How did _that_ go?''

I buried my head in the hold between my chest and knees, the locks of my hair dropped over my shoulders, '' And I heard about Pansy,'' His vocals caught me off guard, my blood coiled to fume of his curiosity,

'' What?'' I blurted out, raising my head to parallel his, '' What does that have to do with anything?'' He took offense in my choice of words as he shot me a glare — the look of compassion snarled into a cold one,

'' You truly need to watch your manners, Avery—,'' He spat, his temper failing him, '' Because I seem to be the only one here — don't you think I know why you came here tonight?''

'' Don't you think I know why you sneak out of your room after nightfall?'' His voice turned aggressive as he forced his chair back, pale, veiny hands slammed into the table as I winced back, looking at him in disbelief,

'' You're a coward. You're a coward who chooses the easy way out — the things you do in here at night, Amelie — is embarrassing, and weak and you should know better than to show that kind of weakness,'' He pushed as my eyes pooled,

'' There will come a day, not far from this one — where you will be the one to set a date, and what are you planning on doing then? Perhaps cutting—,''

'' Shut up — just shut up, Malfoy,'' I shouted, my voice tore through his as he calmed, grey eyes grew wide so did the crease in his forehead, '' You have no right in speaking to me that way — you have no idea what you—,''

'' What I'm talking about?'' He seethed, teeth gritted as he stood tall, mounting over me, '' I know exactly what I'm talking about, Amelie and I have the scars to prove it, '' With that, he aimed to turn around, expecting to have the last word,

" I don't know who I am anymore, Draco, " The words left my lips in stutters, shaky breaths escaping them after, " I just — don't know what to do anymore," I flew off my seat, remarking his face tensing, hooded eyes gawking right through me, '' I know that. Don't you think I know that?''

The blonde one's face slightly twitched at my words, before jaws clenched utterly, '' You know what?'' He hissed once more, a groan passed, '' Here—, ''

He shoved his hand down his pocket before flinging a piece of metallic onto the table. My eyes stared at it — the razorblade — _my_ razorblade — my source of relief.

He swiftly shifted around, storming out as he shouted,

'' There you go, Amelie — _do what you do best,''_

_________________


	10. N i n e ,

**This chapter contains emotional trauma. Please read with caution.**

**________________________**

Adrian never returned that week. His parents believed it would be for the better if he rested in the safety of his home, and even if I missed him, every day we spent apart. I knew this was for the greater good, and I had to get used to the feeling of him being away because in three days was _the_ _day_ — the day he deemed to get his mark, the dark lord's signature, and with it come responsibilities. I had to familiarize him being gone,

I didn't fear it, him being abroad, quite the opposite — it calmed me, knowing that the weakness in my heart sought to find harmony away from his violence, spending time together with Theodore without the fear of being caught clouded over our heads.

My eyes snapped to his, watching him as he rested in my lap — the early autumn breeze tugged in a mixture of hot and cold as we laid there, out in the sun, with all our problems set aside, '' Theodore, what are you reading?'' I asked him, his body slightly flinched at the gentle tone,

He shrugged, turning the page of his book, '' Nothing special,'' He huffed, annoyingly, '' I will take a wild chance and guess that you already read it — you're still in Ravenclaw after all,'' I felt my eyes rolling at his words, my back heavy against the tree I leaned against,

'' Well, Mr know-it-all, it's a little difficult to know what I may or may not have read if you won't show me,'' I mumbled, my fingers stroking a few strands of hair off his forehead. The soft-touch made him turn his head to face me, gazing up at me from below,

His eyes shun heavenly in the string of light, his nearly tanned skin flushed, '' I will read you one line, and one line only, and we'll see if you know which book I'm reading,'' He smirked, knowing that this nagged my temper, '' Ready?''

I yet rolled my eyes away from his, looking over the black lake as he sucked in a breath, '' What greater punishment is there than —, ''

'' — life, when you've lost everything that made it worth living?'' I hewed him off, finishing his sentence as he jolted up from my lap, sitting up next to me, '' Are you serious, Teddy?'' I laughed, snatching the book from his hand, '' Romeo and Juliet?''

Theodore's face twisted in a grimace as he snatched the book back, holding it close to his chest, '' What's wrong with reading Romeo and Juliet?'' He snarled, bushy eyebrows furrowed as the smirk on my lips grew,

'' There's nothing wrong with it, silly,'' I smiled, tilting my head to rest on my shoulder, feeling the wind as it swirled through my hair, '' It was the _obvious_ choice for you — that's all,'' The boy's mouth dropped at my words, his eyes broad in shock,

He released a loud sigh at my talks, shaking his head, making his thick hair fleeing his temples before flopping down to my lap again, " Is that so wrong?" He mumbled, raising his book to read, " I mean, is it so wrong to wish for someone that cares about you so much that they would rather die than be without you?"

I could hear his voice lightly breaking, his hand shaking as he tried to hide it, gripping the spine of the book tighter. " You have me, Teddy," I swallowed, knowing that it won't help, prizing that he meant someone to care for in a different way than how we cared for each other,

He bent his head back, reaching to twirl a lock of my hair between his fingers, " I know, you're my best friend, Amelie," He forced a smile, the kind he always sought to grant when he was dishonest, '' Do you ever think of —,'' He hushed, pulling his touch back,

I felt my face twist at his acts, my hands cupping his cheeks to level my stare, '' Do I ever think of what?'' I questioned him, brows furrowed as his skin colored in pink, '' Theodore—,''

'' If we met first—,'' He whispered, his hand moved to hold mine around his face, '' Do you ever think of what would have happened— if we met each other first?''

The words fleeing his tongue caused my heart to race as he peered deeply into my eyes — I had, many times. I felt for Theodore in ways that I could not place my finger upon, but the second I met Adrian, and the moment we came to be bound together for life — I dropped every thought I had ever held towards Theodore. He deserved so much better, and there was no way in this misery of life that I earned him,

I shook my head, my silence to his question made him frown before he looked away, releasing his hold of mine. He noticed how hard this was, how much I resented myself in not having a say of my own body — but that was the way of life, in my world.

'' Do you want to—,'' He rose, but the second the footsteps behind us echoed clear, we both jumped apart, spines straight to look at the two figures approaching,

'' Don't think I didn't see that, Nott,'' The vile boy spat at my best friend as Theodore stood tall in his shoes, towering over Blaise, '' See _what_ exactly, Zabini?'' Theodore snarled back, making the shorter boys stumble,

I felt the panic flushing through my veins as I forced myself off the ground, brushing the straws of grass plastered on my uniform skirt, '' What are you doing out here, Amelie — shouldn't you be in class?'' Blaise hissed, narrowing brown eyes in mine,

Since the night in the locker room, I had been able to avoid him at every cost — what he did to me, what he tried to do wasn't like him. He never mistreated me before. I seized a step back as I cringed, my back stumbled into a warm chest,

I turned in my steps to look at him, the scent of mint and clean cotton filled my nostrils as he stood tall in front of me, hands shoved into his pockets, '' I'm sorry —,'' I uttered through a shaky breath, instantly grounding my views,

Draco shrugged, blond strands of hair fell sleek over his head as he rose a brow at the two boys behind us, '' Follow Nott inside. I need a word alone with Avery,'' Draco spoke, jaws tensed as he snapped his eyes back to mine, annoyingly huffing at Blaise's obstinance, '' _Alone_ , Zabini — now.''

Blaise hesitatingly did as Draco demanded, shoving my best friend in front of him before they both walked away, heading back to the castle. The blonde one looked at me, almost arching his head to parallel my eyes, '' Are you alright, Amelie?'' His voice tore through my ear, coldly,

I booted back, forging feet of distance between us before I flickered my eyes to meet his grey ones — I know Draco coiled no loyalty towards me, yet my mind scolded me at the thought of him spending time with Blaise, even after he was the one saving me from the torture they sought to put me through,

'' Don't—,'' I yanked my arm back, from his tries to touch it, '' Don't touch me— please,'' I hushed in begging, chewing my bottom lip as I glared at him, '' I'm sorry—, just _don't_ touch me.'' His face stoned as he slowly nodded, the black turtleneck sweater hugged his throat firmly,

'' I won't touch you. I will never touch you again without your permission,'' He spoke honestly,

'' I need to speak with you about — _Adrian's_ _ceremony_ _,_ '' His veiny hand scratched the back of his neck before being shoved down in the suit pants again, '' Blaise and I will—,''

'' Why, Blaise?'' I snapped, making him stare at me wide-eyed, my temper flushing up inside, '' Have you forgotten what they did to me — what _you_ walked in on?'' My voice nearly broke, my eyes watered,

Draco tore his sights away, once again shaking his head, '' Do you believe that I would be able to forget, even if I wanted to?'' He hissed, taking a step closer, '' Because I'm not. I can never forget or forgive what they tried to do with you, but—,''

'' But what, Malfoy?'' I almost whimpered, making him quiet down, '' You said you wanted to help me. You said that you _could_ help me keep myself together but—,'' I breathed, the anxiety and the constant need of my own relief washed over me as I floundered back over the grass, further away from him,

'' You said _things_ , Draco — things that hurt and now? Now you're hanging out with the boy who tried to—,'' My hand gesturing towards the entrance of the school, '' Blaise tried to—,'' I gasped, the wind in my lungs missed me as a tear rolled my cheek,

The panic I felt consumed me. It turned overwhelming — everything I had tried to hide, deep, deep within surfaced, that night. That particular night in the locker room tore through my imagination, the aching feeling lingered in my chest — nearly knocking the air out of me completely,

My mind sought to be the death of me. It hounded me as I sealed my eyes closed, dropping to my knees, doing everything possible to shut it out, begging my own soul to list me mercy, but nothing. I was dying, inside out — and that was all I wished for,

'' Amelie—,'' Draco growled, kneeling beside me yet inches away, '' _Fuck_ —, Amelie?'' He pushed again, but the constant paths of cries fleeing my lips muffled any chance in answering, '' Fucking hell — Theodore,'' He shouted, loudly, my body winced as I bent further down, hugging my knees tightly into my chest,

My eyes dizzy by the tears drowning, my breaths hitched, '' Amelie, can I touch you?'' He asked, his voice rough, '' Damn it, Amelie — answer me,'' He pleaded as nothing else than whines trailed my parted lips,

Draco stood straight again, looking around for any other option than to touch me, but the yard shredded empty, not a single soul in sight, '' I'm so sorry for this—,'' He mumbled, before I felt his cold, virtually freezing hands around my back and thighs, holding me steady as he walked fast,

I tasted his chest, heaving hard against the side of mine before the cold water embraced me, my eyes flayed open as I watched him, carrying me down into the lake, '' Draco—,'' I gasped, my arms flew to clung his neck,

He halted at the touch of my hands grasping the back of his neck, tugging myself closer to him, the biting water held at his chest, his hands clenched before loosen, he let the lower part of my body go, still holding onto my waist,

'' Do you feel that?'' He breathed, his lips slightly quivering, blue eyes bored through mine, '' Do you feel how the cold water eases everything?'' His skin nearly fumed in the shines of the sun as he stood there, in the water, with me wrapped around his chest,

I had no strength in speaking — I merely shrugged as my mind crawled back to being, eventually grasping what had passed, '' Draco—,'' I felt myself gasp, the cold water soaked around me as I pulled myself closer to him, my finger shaking in the grip of his neck,

'' Why—,'' Sobs cleared my throat as I tried talking, '' Why would you do that—,'' Draco's eyes met mine as he looked more than guilty, his jaws clamped into two sharp lines, trying to swallow the remorse. He would never show it — but even if he did everything possible not to, the wrongfulness chewed within,

His hands around my waist loosened as he forced me away from him, his face slightly fell as his lips divided, roughly as he came to realization, '' I know what you're thinking, and you're more than right — I don't care about you. I care about Blaise, and I find no wrongdoing in what he did.''

Draco's hands let go of me completely, taking a step back in the water as he looked away, '' I made a mistake. I can't be the one to help you,''

My heart ached with the feeling of betrayal. I wanted to cry — to scream, to shout at him for making me think there was hope to be found, for wishing me to believe I had a chance, to escape the darkness. But there wasn't, nor will it ever be.

My sights dropped to look at the calm water, my head sore in question, and without anything else spoken between us, I stumbled past him, walking up of the lake,

I was a fool. I was a fool to believe anything Draco Malfoy had ever told me. I needed Theodore, and I needed Adrian. I didn't need Draco.

____________________

I stared at my reflection in the mirror before me, my body looked weak, fragile but the dress hugging it stunned beautiful, elegant — Adrian had it picked out for me to look my best at his ceremony — my insides coiled by the thought of it, was this deemed to be my life now?

Of course, it was, the legacy of an Avery would forever turn you into one of _them_ , even if you crave for it or not. Adrian never feared this, not in the way Theodore and I did. He wanted this, he wanted to be at use for the dark lord, and he had dreamed of his for as long as I could remember,

The dress wrapped around my thinned body caught my attention once again, the way it fitted perfectly not to show any signs of violence,

'' You look—,'' Adrian's voice caused me to flinch as he peered out from the bathroom door, '' You are beautiful, love.'' He remarked, taking slow steps up to me, with his arms possessingly wrapped around my waist. I stared up at us through the reflection,

We looked normal, just like any other teenage couple would. Nobody could ever have guessed the horrific things taking place behind closed doors by this look of us. He was handsome, more than handsome, and I felt the corner of my mouth twitch because of it, '' Thank you,'' I whispered as his head dived down to my shoulder, planting soft kisses on my tender skin,

Adrian's hands stroked my figure gently, warm breaths made my heart flutter as I smiled, '' I love you, Amelie,'' He mumbled, turning me around in his hold, '' I know that we have our—, '' The boy held, gawking deeply into my eyes,

'' Differences,''

I sucked in a harsh breath, blinking quickly, '' But I do it all for you — I want you to be the best version of yourself and to teach you how to please me,'' His visions softened, feeling a large hand stroking its spine against my cheek, '' You are the love of my life, and I will marry you the second I'm allowed to, we will be forever together,''

I smiled bravely, trying to conceal my breaking insides. The week he left me alone at school was one of the best weeks of my life — I had never felt freer than with him absent, all the time I was allowed to spend with Theodore, without supervision, to be open and able to speak your mind knowing you're not to punish for it,

**Flashback from yesterday.**

_'' Not that one, stupid,'' Theodore smiled, rolling his eyes as he snapped the bag of sweets out of my hold, '' This is the one you want,''_

_He reached for the top shelf, bringing down another kind of chocolate, '' Here you go —, the right choice,'' The boy showed his teeth in a cheeky smile, patting my back before he turned away, walking further down the aisle,_

_'' Wait—,'' I urged, almost sprinting after him as he went, '' You can't walk away from me like that. I have never been here alone — I don't know what I'm supposed to—,'' He flung around, quickly pushing a finger to my lips,_

_'' You talk too much, Avery,'' Theodore smirked, plucking another bag of sweets off the shelf. He looked down at me, his dimples firmly embedded into his cheeks as he shrugged at my chocked expression,_

_'' What_ _? You_ _do talk a lot,''_

_My eyes rolled at him, shoving him to the side as we kept walking towards the pay desk, '' These please—,'' Theodore said kindly to the lady behind the register, she softly nodded before picking up the sacks of treats,_

_'' Let me pay, please,'' I asked him, noticing how he already had his wallet out for use, '' Theodore, you paid last time, it's my turn to—,''_

_He shut me up by placing the coins of gold on top of the counter, his lips arched in a smile as he ignored my beg, '' There you go, ma'am,'' He gestured at the coins before turning back to me once again,_

_'' Shall we?'' He almost laughed out, slapping his hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds, earing a more than confused look to rise on my highlights,_

_'' What?'' I snapped,_

_Theodore bit his lower lip in hesitation before shrugging his_ _shoulders_ _, '' Nothin_ _g,"_

_"Co_ _me on, love,'' He guided me out of the store, his hand pushed against my back as we walked across the busy alley,_

_He shoved the door to the three broomsticks open, walking up to an empty table, '' Here,'' He spoke, pulling out a chair for me to be seated on, '' Butterbeer, right?'' He mocked, his lips curved into a smile at my nod,_

_Theodore's back faced me as he strolled away, leaving me seated at the table, the bell on the door rang incessantly, people walked in and out alternately — mouths parted in talking, laughing, yelling, and in the middle of all that chatter, my eyes met grey one's,_

_My breaths hitched as his face turned in stone, his temples coldly tore away, marching to the bathroom with sharp steps — he looked tired, vein as he closed the door behind him, his_ _black, long_ _coat hugged his shoulders_ _,_

_Without as much as a second thought — I pushed my chair back, sneaking through the crowd of people to the bathroom door, slightly pressing it open for a better view of the blonde one. Draco paced back and forth, impatiently, his hands hauled his hair back in defeat before muttering something beneath his breath,_

_The cracking door gave me away, making his eyes snap up to mine in a heartbeat, '' Amelie—,'' He hissed, nostrils flared in anger, '' Close the fucking door,'' I forced another step ahead, feeling the wooden door slamming shut behind me,_

_My eyes studied his anxious body, '' Draco—, what are you—,''_

_'' Here—,'' He stated, storming close, his hands pulled out a package from the inside of his_ _coat,_ _'' Take this, and give it to the headmaster,'' He urged, the dark covered item heavy in his trembling hands,_

_'' Do it now—,'' His eyes intense, jaws clamping together with force,_

_'' What is it—,''_

_'' Stop with the questions, Avery,'' He snarled, his voice dangerously low, making me gulp as I took it, my fingers clenched around the hardened material,_

_He poured to the door, halting right when he turned the handle, '' And whatever you do— don't open it.''_

_" And don't touch it."_

_He walked out, devising me in the destined bathroom,_

_My head spun while making my way back to my best friend, noticing him standing up the moment green eyes placed on my figure. He rose a brow as he narrowed his sights in mine, '' Where were you?''_

_I swallowed, looking down at the package resting in my palms, shaking my head at him — strands of_ _my_ _brown hair fell utterly over my shoulders by the act, eyes blinking quickly as I gazed up at Theodore, '' I need to—,'' I held, my head snapping making sure that no one caught me talking,_

_'' I need to go back to the castle,''_

_Theodore's face twisted in confusion, frowning before marking the bundle left in my possession, '' Right now?'' He asked, mouth slightly hanging,_

_'' Right now,''_

_We walked through the woods, earning our way back to school as Theodore eagerly tried to snatch the object away from me_ _,_ _his hands continually tugging at it to a point when it ruptured — a necklace dropped to the stone covered ground, causing the both of us to clock eyes,_

_'' Well, pick it up —, '' He taunted me, nodding towards the jewelry holding at the ground, my eyes rolled as I bent down to gather it, but the second my fingers touched the silver material,_

_Everything turned dark,_

________________________

My spine was torn in ache as Adrian hugged me closer to his chest, holding me close for comfort — he sensed the flickering twitch in my body by the caress, '' Are you alright?'' He asked, still standing in front of his mirror,

I forced a smile as I looked up at him, meeting his soft eyes, '' I'm fine,'' I lied, knowing that I'm everything but fine,

Because yesterday, with the necklace wrapped in its seal,

Draco had hexed me,

The jewelry was cursed with black magic,

And the spell of his cruelty shredded my every nerve.

Draco Malfoy did that. He hexed me.

______________________


	11. T e n ,

The room shuns beautifully as the guests walked in trail, all of them gathered to be here for Adrian's special marking, the crowd of people thickened as I followed the boy around. He was gentle, kind — respectful as people greeted us, wearing the most graceful of clothes,

Adrian held onto me with force as we made our way to his mother's table, she merely stood there, once again speaking to my father before her eyes flickered to us, '' Amelie—,'' She smiled, gently, her arms gestured in the air for me to hug her, so I did, and the comfort she brought was irresistible, '' And you, Adrian,'' She smiled once more, her white teeth glimmering,

Anna's eyes flickered between us, smiling broadly as she went, '' You two look—,'' She held, almost holding back a tear, ''Beautiful,''

I felt myself nodding at her words, nearly wishing for my dress to slip up, just a little for them all to see the ugly truth hidden beneath it. I granted her a shy smile, taking the glass of bubbles she reached for me to take, '' Thank you, Anna,''

Adrian's hand tensed around my back as he looked around the room, searching for someone by the look of it, he bowed his head, closer to Anna's, '' Is Parkinson coming?'' He whispered, not for me to hear — that's something you learn how to do when everyone is talking for you, and never to you, you master the act of eavesdropping,

His mother stared at him, her eyes wide as she looked at me, frowning, the darkened eyebrows scrunched over her tanned skin, '' Adrian, perhaps this is a conversation we should have behind—,''

'' I know,'' I mumbled, taking a sip of my drink, the taste of bitter swill scored disgusting on my tongue as I tried to hide it, '' No need to speak privately,'' Anna held a smile at my grimace, tilting her head to admire my bravery,

Adrian's fingers dug into my flesh, the silk material of my dress slippery underneath the grip — I could practically hear his jaws clenching as he cleared his throat, '' Speak when you're spoken to, darling'' He endangered though whispering, swallowing hard, '' Or you and I will have to go upstairs, and _talk_ about this,''

My heart ached as my bones caved, feeling the embarrassment of his words tearing through me — I did as he wished. I stayed quiet, my eyes grounding, '' That's what I thought,'' He grinned, straightening his tie before he turned back to his mother, '' Is she coming?'' He asked her again, desperately, '' Because if she does, Amelie and I are—,''

'' She's not coming, son,'' Anna lowered, fixing one of the forks out of place on the table, '' I took care of it, as promised,'' My blood rushed at her words, pulse quickened looking at Adrian's guilty expression,

I took a step back, glaring at them both as they locked eyes, before rapidly looking back at me, '' What does that mean, that you took care of it?'' I questioned his mother, her face stern, lips pushed into a firm line, '' And you—,'' I heaved, '' What did you ask of her?''

Adrian's eyes narrowed in mine, running his tongue on the inside of his cheek, '' What did I tell you, Amelie?'' He slowly shook his head, tone shifted in violence, '' Speak. when. you. are. spoken. to.''

My eyes watered as I looked at his mother, shredding the evil look of him. I needed to know what they did to Pansy. I had to know, the sinful abuse he sought her through that night was more than that innocent girl could handle. The sinking feeling of disbelief washed over me as I peered at them,

'' What did you do, Adrian?'' I rose, my voice encouraged, my spine tall, '' If you did something to her—,''

'' Come with me, dear,'' Anna hewed me off as she rose a brow, her straight strands of hair fell perfectly over her exposed collarbones, the dress hugged her chest utterly, '' Please, Amelie—,'' She reached her hand past me, waiting for me to join her in the hallway,

I looked back at Adrian, the smirk arched on his lips grew the second he watched desperation in my eyes, the need for Pansy to be okay, the caring for everyone else but myself, '' Don't be long, _love_ ,'' He muttered, rolling his eyes as he stretched the glass of sparkles up to his lips,

My steps echoed loudly in the hallway, marching after his mother — she turned in a swift movement, her eyes hastily snapping over the dimmed, abandoned hall, making sure no one was able to hear her talks, '' Amelie, you have to understand that as a Pucey woman you have no say in how to be treated,'' She looked at me with honesty, her hand reached for mine as she stroked the spine of it,

'' I know that you know about miss Parkinson, she told me that you were the one to help her, and I simply needed to thank you—,'' She held as two people passed us on their way to the balcony. Anna smiled graciously at the couple before she stared back at me, '' I want to thank you for this, Amelie — not everyone who is found in your position would act the way you did,''

'' But that was almost given, and I expected nothing less from you,'' She thanked me, before her neck snapped back at the corridor, noticing a certain blonde-haired boy closing the bathroom door after him,

His grey eyes broad in curiosity, the movement of a brow raising to quickly fall again, caused me to feel nervous, watched,

I shook my head, trying to focus on Anna, noticing her swallowing the guilty look, '' I need to tell you something about Pansy,'' I felt my insides nauseous, my heart pounding, blood rushing, '' In Adrian's beliefs, we got rid of the — _problem_ ,''

My entire self almost sank, my mind clouded by Pansy and the fact that the boy I had to spend the rest of my life with, was capable of such a cruel act, to cease the mother of his future child, her child, '' Did he—,'' My lips quivered, my breath ragged, '' Was he the one to—,''

'' No—, dear, you're not hearing me,'' She held, her hands nervously straightening her dress, '' I can not tell you precisely what you need to hear, because your mind is being—,''

'' _Searched_ —, at times,'' She looked beaten, destroyed to be the one unraveling the truth I seamed to be living in, '' In Adrian's mind, Amelie— in his mind, miss Parkinsons problem has been dealt with —, _in his mind,''_

I gasped, the relief washed became overwhelming — the breath I had been keeping locked, released as my shoulder took living of the wall next to me, '' Are you alright, dear?'' Anna smiled, taking notice of my pleased self, '' I will go and get something for you to drink—,'' She muttered, before turning around,

My mind freed of the chains Adrian's acts held, she was safe, and her unborn child was to be safe as well, even if that wasn't what Adrian knew, he didn't have to be known of the truth, it held safe without him,

My hands tugged my hair back, letting out a sigh of ease — this, right here, the knowledge of someone being safe, healed any unholy thoughts I had of easing my own pain. I flinched, by the sound of a throat clearing at the end of the hall, my eyes immediately snapped to meet his grey ones.

He walked dangerously close, but not too close for comfort, his shoulder tensed against the wall as he stared at me, the silvery eyes fled down my figure, jaws clenched by the look of me in my dress, '' Amelie—,'' He spoke, coldly, feeling the scent of mint and cotton clear my mind,

I sent him a glare as I pushed myself off the wall, not in the mood for another lecture — nevertheless, another time, getting hurt. He watched as I tried to walk away, nearly wrapping his ring coated fingers around my wrist before he caught himself,

Instead, he blocked any chance I had in leaving, he stood utterly in my way, the black suit smeared his tall body perfectly, the turtleneck made his jawlines even sharper, '' Draco—,'' I breathed out, the pain of his forbidden magic still ached within, '' Move,''

Draco didn't shift a muscle. He refused to. He stood, almost protectingly in front of me, daring me to move, to walk away — '' I need to speak with you,'' He mumbled, pushing himself from the people walking past us in the corridor,

I rolled my eyes, huffing annoyingly, still visibly upset with the blonde boy — he hexed me, even if he never meant to do so, even if he told me not to touch it, I could never in a million years believe that he would give me an object with such dark magic attached to it, knowing how much damage it could cost,

My silence nagged his temper, he rolled his tongue inside his cheek, hands shoved into his pockets, '' I heard about—,'' He held, swallowing, '' _The_ _package_ ,''

My brows furrowed, mouth dropped, '' You _heard_?'' I nearly mocked him, high pitched in sarcasm, '' Then it's a good thing you _heard_ about it, Malfoy — good for you,'' I tried to march away, he took a step to the side, still blocking me,

'' Seriously, that's enough, Draco — don't you think you've done _more_ than enough?''

Draco's face fell, his eyes soft, he looked — sorry, regretful,

I felt the lingering pain blast up my spin, bending over in torture, '' I have to—,'' I breathed out, straightening my spine to rush into the bathroom — my palms struck the wood as I closed the door behind me, leaning my back against it,

My head spun in agony, veins almost crushed in torture. I should've listened to madam Pomfrey yesterday when she expressed the value in resting following the event I lived through, but it was so far from the reality I could reach — if I were to tell Adrian about what happened, with Draco and the curse, he would reveal the truth about me spending time with Theodore, outside the school's property,

He would discover the attempts Draco has made to talk to me, to help me — everything I've been trying to hide would surface, and I was not ready to face the consequences for those acts,

I was not ready to be punished for living my life, for making my own choices,

The door shoved open as the blonde one forced himself through, making me stumble further into the tile-covered room, '' Excuse you?'' I nearly snarled, causing Draco to roll his eyes — the silence surrounding us caused shivers down my spine, the threatful tension between us soared cold,

'' I need to explain myself,'' He asked, knowing that it was too much to beg of me. He prized the times he had hurt me with the using of his words, '' I need to explain myself and if you don't accept my apology when I'm done — I won't bother you anymore,'' My eyes matched his, the iced look on his temples made mine soft,

I simply nodded, permitting him to speak his mind — he sucked in a deep breath, his teeth slightly chewing his bottom lip, '' I know you're more than upset with me, and you have every right to be. But I need you to know that I would have never given you that package if I knew what it would do to you. I wasn't the one cursing it, my mother gave it to me and told me to give it to the headmaster, and all she told me, was not to touch it—,''

His eyes wide, jaws clenched, '' And I do apologize, for the way I acted the other day — that wasn't on you, but you need to understand something, Amelie,'' He closed his eyes, another deep breath scored his lungs, '' I said those things to help you—,''

The scoff leaving my lips hewed him off, constant nausea felt overwhelming, '' You said those things to help me?'' I questioned him, '' You said that Blaise did nothing wrong, you said that you cared for him—,''

'' Because you need to feel Amelie, you need to be angry,'' Draco's words left me speechless, standing in front of him as my real bravery fell. I didn't think anyone could take anything more from me — I didn't realize that I hade something left to be stolen, and even then, Draco Malfoy managed to cease me of the last glimmer of courage still heaving within,

'' You can't keep feeling sorry for yourself, you need to be angry — you need to lit that fire still burning within before you turn to stone—, ''

The grey eyes mine held locked in tore away, his face tensed, '' And believe me when I say that it's _hard_ to start feeling again after that fire is burned out,''

I suffered my breaths. My mind swirled in question — I know that he felt my pain because he had gone through it before, but this, treating me the way he had done, was nothing I needed. I looked at the blonde boy, my arms crossed over my chest as his fell to his sides in defeat, '' If you don't want me to help you, that's more than fine, you can walk out of here, without any questions asked, and I will leave you alone,''

'' I won't bother you anymore,''

The aching feeling consumed my slowed heart, making it beat with power. He did. He made me feel something no one had for years, he made me angry, upset — he was the one matching the fire within, the one that made me vulnerable, that made me more than weak,

He looked battered, whisked, he needed to help someone ease their pain to handle his own. I swallowed, trying to dwell the lump growing in my throat, he looked so honest, so pure, no hatred flashing, no hidden truths,

Only pure honesty, and still,

I chose the path I knew would hurt me, the trail of safety, and the choice not to put myself at risk,

I walked out,

_____________


	12. E l e v e n ,

**This chapter contains scenes of abuse. Please read with caution.**

**____________**

The moment I felt the door to the bathroom slamming shut behind me — I regretted it. I knew that Draco could help me because he had been through this before, and he made it out, he stood steady on his feet today, and that's all I wished to do too,

I needed his help, and by the look of it, he needed to help me.

I sucked in a harsh breath, chewing my bottom lip in hesitation before I gripped the handle, only to wince by the sound of glass shattering — I forced the door open as my jaws dropped, my face fell,

The blonde boy stood leaning over the sink with shattered glass all over him, my eyes flickered to the mirror, completely broken — I gasped by the look of his knuckles, smeared in blood, '' Draco, are you alright—,''

'' Just leave, Amelie—,'' He heaved, his back bent, chest moved roughly, '' You chose to leave so just—, fucking go,'' He shook his head as it sunk further, blonde strands of hair fell messy, and I couldn't move — the look of him, struggling made my heartache, I quickly turned around, locking the door behind me before taking hesitant steps up to Draco, and even if I stalled it — I needed to touch him, to bring him comfort. My hand stroked gently over his back, eyes fleeing to look at the clutter he'd caused,

'' Draco, can I do—,''

He flung back, making me stumble by the sudden move, grey eyes bored through mine with might, '' I told you to leave,'' He seethed, before flinging around, caressing the bruised hand,

I felt the panic grow within, the sight of the pieces of sharp glass and the urge to score it against my skin nearly turned overwhelming as I tried to swallow it, holding my reckless thoughts, '' Would you have left?'' I questioned him, only for him to ignore my talks, '' Draco, if this was me, would you have left?'' I asked again, tone harsh, demanding,

Draco huffed, shrugging his shoulders before turning around to face me, '' Do I really need to answer that question?'' He mocked, eyes rolled, '' Just get out—,''

'' No—,''

His eyes grew wide, lips pressed into a firm line, '' I'm not leaving. You said that you could help me, and I want you to— I didn't realize that until I walked out of here,'' I hushed, my attempt to apologize made him agonized, his body squirming,

I took another step forward, '' Help me, Draco—, I need you,'' He blinked quickly, barley a breath left his pressed lips, eyes flickering all over my face. He took a step back, slowly nodding before his back leaned against the sink,

'' But—,'' I mumbled, my finger twitching, '' Adrian can't know, which means no one can know,'' The influence Adrian had over almost every student worked against me, and the familiarity of keeping things hidden from him was nothing I haven't done before,

He hissed, annoyingly, once again shaking his head as he traced a finger over his bruised knuckles, '' Fine,'' We held, in complete silence for moments before I booted up to him, reaching for the wounded hand — his fingers soared cold, but his skin was soft, almost too soft, the scent of warm cotton clouded my mind by standing close,

I spun around, looking through the cabinet standing beside us, searching for the vanity bag I knew Anna had stashed somewhere, feeling the grey eyes burning into my exposed back. The dress Adrian had gotten me had a low cut back, revealing my pale skin, '' Here it is—,'' I muttered for myself, pulling out the healing potion my future mother in law always sought to have at home,

My hand grabbed Draco's, holding it up for a better view as I let the drops of liquid melted the skin back together, sensing his warm breath against my cheek.

If this were to be any other person— I never would have let them stand this close, the vicinity of another person frightened me, it made me more than uncomfortable, but not his,

There was something about the blonde boy that soothed safety. Perhaps all the times he'd tried to help me, to stop me from hurting finally burst trough my walls,

My eyes snapped to his, shyly smiling as he pulled his hand back, stroking his fingers over it, '' You're welcome,'' I grinned, for once feeling good about myself, if only just for a little while and even though this was the smallest of acts — I helped him. I helped someone, and that made everything easier,

I could hear him swallow, eyes narrowed as he chewed on the inside of his cheek, '' Thank you—, I suppose,'' He uttered, scratching the back of his neck before he bent over the sink, turning the water on, to wash the bloodstains away — the splinters of the broken mirror still shattered everywhere, and the moment I took a step back I felt a piece of it crackling underneath my heel,

I stumbled back, nearly falling to the ground before the blonde one caught me, his hands wrapped around my waist to keep me from dropping, the strong fingers digging into my flesh held differently, the touch was calm, caring — his tall body pressed to mine, nose's only inches apart,

The time slowed, the tension grew, my lips slightly parted, almost tasting his breaths, the icing touch of his hand on my exposed back made my veins flush, my heart pounding. I saw all of him, how his eyes glinted, how the ashen skin looked soft, flawless, the dark eyelashes batting, every strand off blonde hair, and then — he stepped away, his sights grounding, jaws tensed,

'' My apologies,'' He swallowed, shoving his hands into his pockets, '' You should go, it's almost time for—,''

'' Draco—,'' I breathed out, making him look at me, his eyes now hooded,

He shook his head, storming past me to force the door open, taking any chance of privacy away from us, '' Theodore should be here by now—,'' He peered out of the entrance, making sure that no one would catch us leaving the same bathroom, even if it were to be completely innocent,

He shoed out, swiftly glancing at me, running a hand through his hair to smoothen it, '' Tomorrow, the library—, and don't be late,'' He tried to warn, before he poured off, leaving me alone in the bathroom, with glass shattered everywhere,

_________

I rushed out, looking everywhere for Adrian, only to notice that he's nowhere to be found, his mother had vanished as well — and the only place left to search was his room, the superior room in this house I despised more than anything, the room where it all started four years ago,

With my palms pressed against the wood, I forced the door open, flinching by the look of him, leaning against the bookshelf, his darkened eyes snapped up to mine, an evil smirk grew wide, '' You missed it—,'' Adrian informed, pushing himself off, taking severe strides towards me, '' You _fucking_ missed it,''

His arm moved past me, shutting the door closed as I felt my back collide with it, his eyes evilly bored through mine, '' Where were you, Amelie?'' He spat, teeth gritted, '' Where the fuck did you go when you were supposed to be with me?'' - a large hand flew to my neck, grabbing it roughly, the rolled-up sleeve exposed the mark, the dark mark he'd just been given, flaming red,

Adrian's fingers squeezed my tender skin, his short-cut nails dug deep, '' I— I wasn't—,'' I sought to speak, but the need of air by his vicious acts became overwhelming, '' Adrian—,'' I nearly heaved,

The smirk on his face grew broadly, the vein right between his furrowed brows almost popped as he threw me to the ground, walking up to my breaking self with slow steps, '' Did you fuck him? Did you fuck Malfoy?'' He seethed, kneeling beside me, '' Because if you did, Amelie, I swear to god—,''

I tried to crawl back, away from his violence, but he refused to let me go. He pinned my arms over my head on the floor, reaching down to his pocket, '' I wasn't with Malfoy—,'' I sobbed, desperately trying to yank my arms back, '' I promise—, I wasn't doing anything—,'' Tears fled my reddened eyes, my chest moved stiffly. Adrian rose a brow, biting his lower lip in excitement before he pulled his hand out of his pocket, uncloaking the splint of mirror held in his hand,

'' If you're not dishonest, _love_ , would you mind to explain what this is?'' His words mocked me, knowing that he caught me in a lie, '' Did he fuck you so hard that he broke my damn mirror?'' His words scored low, his finger clenching around my wrist as my whole body trembled,

Adrian stretched the piece of shattered mirror closer, risping the edge of it against my cheek, '' You're nothing more than a slut, aren't you?'' He taunted, dark chuckles left his lips as the sharp tip of the mirror ripped its way down my neck, over my collarbones, halting right over the place my dress held, he licked his lips, teeth showing in a cheeky smile,

''You're not. You're nothing more than a _filthy_ _slut_.'' With that, he forced the edge into my skin, making me scream out in torture. The hand pinning my arms down flew to my mouth, muffling the shouts for help, '' Please—,'' I hushed into his fingers, my hands trying to pry him off. I kicked, screamed, yanked, tugged, but nothing, he was too strong, and every time the piece ripped my skin, it hurt even graver,

'' There you go,'' He cleared his throat, pushing himself off the ground,

'' The dark lord requested for me to leave school for a few days,'' Adrian smirked, rolling down his sleeve, brushing off his suit pants, '' But you know this already. Blaise will keep you company in school, and I will see you when I get back,'' He stood tall, seizing his jacket to put it on,

I jolted off the floor, my knees weak below me, '' You're leaving so soon?'' I whimpered, my hand holding over the mess he created, drips off blood stained the dress, '' What about—,''

'' I'm leaving, and I will be back in a few days, maybe a week,'' He repeated himself, annoyed with my questions, he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on the top of my head, '' Make sure to play by the rules when I'm away. Blaise will owl me the second—,''

'' I promise,'' I hewed him off although I knew I had plans to break that promise. He tucked a lock behind my ear, nodding slowly before he marched up to the door, turning as he was pouring out, '' And don't go back to the party, love — we can't have you down there looking like—,'' He held, green eyes snapped down to the blood sipping down,

_'' That,''_

The moment he closed his door behind him — I rushed into the bathroom, and I froze, the second I watched what he had done to me, what that splinter of mirror had caused,

SLUT.

He scratched the nasty word into my skin, right below the edge of my dress for no one but me to see, and that was his whole intention. He didn't need anyone else to see. He just needed me to know, to feel, and to understand that this was all he would ever see me as,

a slut.

___________

I slipped down to my seat; my books slammed the table as I waited for Theodore to enter the class, this happened to be the only class Blaise didn't transfer to, so he could watch me like a hawk, precisely what Adrian had asked of him,

'' There you are,'' Theodore smiled, making me snap my neck to his as he stood tall beside me, hanging his robe over the backrest of his chair, '' I looked in the library for you, but you—,''

'' I had a free period—,'' I mumbled, my eyes flickering down to my desk as he took place beside me, his eyes still glued on me — He sighed, loudly, the craving for attention grew at my tries to ignore him, which led to another loud huff,

'' Yes, Theodore?'' I snapped, causing his brows to furrow, mouth twitched, and the hurt looks spread firmly over his face. The look of his features sinking caused my heart to ache, '' I'm sorry — I didn't mean to be rude, I just—,'' I held, my hand moving to touch the hidden marks of Adrian's torture,

'' I had a bad day yesterday, that's all.''

He shouldered me to the side, earning a scoff from my lips as I peered over at him, his brown hair like usual, fell messy over his head, his cheeks flushed, '' I was about to ask you about that. I looked for you everywhere, but I didn't—,''

'' You're in my seat, _Nott_.'' The dark voice behind us caused me to wince back, grabbing the edges off my desk, my fingers clenched around the worn wood, '' Get up and find another seat,'' Blaise stood behind us, impatiently stamping his foot to the ground, eager for Theodore to move so he could take his place,

I turned in my seat, looking at the vile boy behind me, '' You're not supposed to be here—,'' I breathed, nervously tucking a curl behind my ear, '' You took this class last year,'' The brown eyes narrowed in mine as he rose a brow, licking his lower lip,

'' You don't get to talk back to me, _you_ —,'' He held, the veiny hand placed on his shoulder hewed him off,

'' No need to be rude, isn't that right, Zabini?'' Draco scored low, hushed from the students around us to hear, '' Why don't you and I sit here, and leave Amelie and Nott to it?'' He gestured to the empty seats behind them, slightly yanking Blaise's shoulder back,

'' _Now_ , Zabini—,''

Blaise did as Draco asked, trails of whining left his lips as he hunkered down to the empty chair, still in full sight of what I was doing — I meet the grey eyes for barely a second, and that short inch of time was enough to fall lost in them,

'' Here,'' Theodore broke through the trace Draco consumed me in, shoving his book to show something. I flung around to see what he craved to display, but still, my mind had no strength in focusing on something else than the blonde boy I almost kissed yesterday —

And how excited I was to meet him tonight,

___________


	13. T w e l v e ,

**This chapter contains scenes of emotional trauma. Please read with caution.**

**Please, don't forget to vote!!**

___________

The dusk had settled over the castle as I made my way down to the library, knowing that the blonde-haired boy would be there, waiting for me and ever since he looked at me, the way he did in class earlier — not a single thought of easing my own pain scored my senses,

There was something about this, mysterious yet obvious boy that calmed me, that affected me in a way no one else seemed to be able to, and even if that was intriguing, it was more than terrifying also, because this was unknown territory — I had never done this with someone else, never been this close to someone I didn't know, but still trusted,

The hallways scored dark, shallow, empty, my heels crinkled along the stone-covered floor, my palms pushed against the doors, hauling them open into the darkened library as I looked around, searching for him,

'' Draco—,'' I whispered, slightly bending my back, walking further in between the dusty bookshelves, '' Draco—,'' I murmured again,

My spine straight, my breaths light as feathers the second I heard a sound behind me, my hands curled into fists, my eyes squeezing shut before the familiar chuckle rose behind a shelf, '' You're a real tough one, aren't you, Amelie?'' Draco mocked, stepping out of the shadows,

I panted out the holding breath, sending him a glare, '' That's not funny, Draco—,'' I heaved, my hand pushed against my chest, shaking my head at his trails of chuckles, '' Bloody fool,''

He rose a brow at my words, upper lip curling, '' We'll see who's the fool when I'm done with you,'' Draco smirked, for a short moment, he stood as if frozen in time, gawking at me, trying to figure me out. '' You need to understand, Amelie,'' He cleared his throat, becoming serious,

'' That overcoming the fear for others to harm you isn't easy. This will hurt, and it will take time,''

'' But when I'm done, you'll never be scared of your father—,'' He held, jaws clenching, '' Or Adrian,'' My boyfriend's name tasted disgusting on his tongue as he showed it. The constant bickering between Adrian and Draco had been going for years; they're claimed to be rivals, to continually fight through words and actions,

I felt utterly small compared to Draco's tall figure, towering over me in the dimmed library. His eyes glistened in the moonlight sneaking through the windows, '' What—,'' I swallowed, fingers nervously twitching, '' How do you do this? Help me, I mean,'' I spoke politely, flushes of fear pushed throughout my vessels as he took a stride closer,

'' How do I do this?'' He hushed, teeth showed as he licked his lower lip, '' Sit down,'' He gestured towards the table, surrounded by chairs. I slipped down to a seat, my leg nervously shaking at the look of him standing before me, eyeing me down,

'' If you agree to do this—, we can't stop,'' His words caused chills to rush down my spine, the hair in the back of my neck rising, '' We can't stop once we started, Amelie and I need you to tell me that you want this, that you agree to do this—,''

I held my tells, chewing on the inside of my cheek in hesitation before I shot him a slight nod, consenting to his terms. Draco shook his head, leaning over me as he placed both of his hands on the armrests of my chair, grey eyes bored through mine, '' I need words, Amelie. You need to tell me that you want this, that you want me to do _this_ ,''

I swallowed my delay, feeling his heated breaths blowing straight at me, '' I want you to help me, Draco—,'' I nearly choked out, not having a clue of what he'll do to me. The blonde one hauled at his robe, clutching his wand in between his fingers, before taking a boot back,

'' I need you to choose a safe word,'' He told, his eyebrows hoisted in a swift movement, '' It can be anything, a fruit, a name, a color—,''

'' A _what_ —,'' I tried asking,

'' A safe word.'' He hewed me off, his spine rested against a messy bookshelf, '' You'll need one, when things get too intense, or if you can't take it anymore,'' His fingers toyed with the wand in his fingers, flipping it around in his grip,

My mind clouded in question, with what he sought to do with me, how I could possibly need a safeword if he were trying to help me, '' The clock is ticking, Avery—,''

'' Blue—,'' I shut him up, the word of color trembled off my tongue, '' I want to use blue,'' He nodded at my choice, his hair shrugging over his eyebrows,

'' As you wish,''

Draco rose his wand to a point where it leveled my head, inches away, '' I need you to close your eyes, Amelie. I need you to close your eyes and breath through your nose — can you do that for me?'' I met his piercing stare once more, his eyes lightened by the strokes of twilight before I sealed mine close,

I felt my chest heavy in the attempts to breathe slow and steady, '' Good, you're doing so good,'' He mumbled, the tip of his wand scored raw against my cheek before his heel clicked back, sucking in a harsh breath,

'' Legilimens,''

The spell clocked my eyes wide, the lingering light of magic swirled my mind, nearly paralyzing me on the chair, '' I want you to think about your father, Amelie — can you do that?'' He spoke, but I couldn't see him; all I saw was the flashing images of my father and his violence ripping through my senses,

'' Good, Amelie. That's so good,''

He saw what I did. He watched my memories through his magic, '' I want you to focus on something your father did to you as a child,'' The second his words came to mind, my eyes squeezed shut, and the image of my father, burning cigarettes after cigarettes all over my shoulders suffocated me,

That tended to be his favorite thing to do, to punish me in his own misery; even as an innocent child, he enjoyed how my screams tore through our home because that sound blocked his reality of my mother dying — I took beating, after beating since he wasn't strong enough to face his own pain,

Draco's spell tore from my mind, giving me a second to catch my breath before it twirled my senses yet again, '' Good, Amelie — this is so good, now, I want you to focus on how you felt when those cigarettes scored through your skin, try to remember how it felt,'' I nodded, my unconscious self seeking the feeling,

How you could feel the fiery piece of tobacco melting your skin, layer by layer until your skin was utterly numb, how you did everything to yank away, how the tears drained your skin, how weak you were because you couldn't take more,

How the words spoken by my father as he did the vicious act hurt more than the deed itself,

_'' You're weak,''_

_'' You're worthless,''_

_'' You're my biggest mistake,''_

_'' If it wasn't for your mother—,''_

My mother. The one person in this world who always looked after me, who took his abuse to spare mine, the gracious woman who died because of—,

'' _Stop_ —,'' I cried out, my head buried in my hands, not ready for the truth I knew rested deep down within, '' Please, please—,''

Draco's strides echoed closer, kneeling right in front of me as the torture of my mind continued, the images, the voices everything kept flashing, my hands tugged my hair back in defeat, tears drained every inch of skin, '' Amelie—,''

'' _Please_ , _please_ , _please_ , make it stop—, make it stop Draco,'' I sobbed, strands of hair tangled up in between my fingers, my body shook violently before I winched, my body turned to stone by his hand on my thigh,

My eyes squeezed further, lips mangled together as my breaths hitched utterly, '' You need to say the safe word, Amelie—,'' He mumbled into my ear, his nose brushing against my hair, '' Listen to my voice and say your safe word,''

My chest caved, my bones ached, '' **BLUE** ,'' I whimpered, my fingers flew to hold onto the armrests, nails digging into the wood, '' Blue—,'' I gasped again, the feeling of relief washed me clean of the agony, my insides lightening,

'' Good—,'' He pushed, his grip around my thigh tensed, the rings coating his fingers burned coldly into my skin, '' You did so well,'' I crawled together in the frame of my chair, knees drawn up to my chest, hugging myself,

Moments of silence passed, before I found the bravery to speak,

'' Why—,'' My lips trembled, my voice airy in shaking,'' Why did I have to go through that?'' His eyes met mine, softly staring deep, they shun in remorse, in compassion for what I had to go through, in the curiosity of what my deepest, darkest secret may be,

'' We all have that one secret,'' He held, pulling his touch away, '' We all have that one secret, we never knew we carried with us, and that's your trigger — you have something, a memory of your father, that you'll never give up, most likely because you don't even know about it—,''

'' You were so close to giving it up to me, but the second your mind circled it, you snapped out of it,'' Draco shoved his hands into his pockets, his back slightly arched, '' I'm certain that we'll get closer next time,'' The blonde one tried comforting, tilting his head at my breaking self,

My chest nearly exploded in anxiety, my mind felt exposed, violated as I trembled, every nerve on edge, '' I—,'' I faltered, lower lip quivering,'' I need to go through this again?'' I felt my words burning, my breaths heavy,

'' I don't think I can do that, Draco — this was...''

'' Please don't make me go through this again,'' I tried to muffle my sobs, shutting my eyes closed to cut off the streaming tears, '' Please—,'' I sought to calm myself down, to think about my best friend, how it felt laying with my head on his chest as he read one of his many love stories,

But to no use, my body kept shaking, my mind was cursed by the hidden acts of my father, and I felt more than ashamed, as I completely broke to pieces in front of Draco; the embarrassment was enough for me to wish that the ground would swallow me whole,

'' Amelie—,'' Draco whispered, once again close to my ear, '' I want to do something to help you, Amelie, but I need your permission,'' - and without hesitation, without a second thought, I quickly nodded, giving him all the approval I held for him to help me, for him to do something to ease the thoughts spinning,

He sucked in a breath, swallowing as I coiled back, feeling the freezing hands wrapping around me, lifting me up before he seated himself in my chair, placing me in his hold — his arms trapped me in, tensing his grasp to alleviate my mind, '' Is this alright?'' He mumbled into my hair, '' You are okay now, Amelie—,''

'' It was just thoughts, they can't hurt you here — I'm right here, no one can hurt you when I'm here,''

Draco's words, the tone of them, the way his vocals swirled around me, almost hypnotizing me in the safest of ways, caused me to breathe again. The kind, calming words bored through the torture, he became clear, the library stopped spinning,

'' I'm right here, _sweetheart_ —,''

He choked on the last letter, pressing his lips together, and the way his arms stiffed, his cold turned cold, made me snap my eyes to his, still plastered to his chest. At first, he avoided my sight, not comfortable with what he'd spoken, but as I tilted my head, searching for him to look at me, he finally gave in,

The cold, grey eyes stared straight at me, minty breaths tasted sweet against my lips, '' I—,'' I sniffed, wiping my tears with the end of my sleeve, '' I don't mind it, Draco—,'' I whispered, nearly inaudible,

'' I... I liked that word. Nobody has ever called me that before—,''

'' It sounded... good,''

Grey eyes grew wide, making me chew on my bottom lip — his soft yet stoned face was so close to mine, his hands clenched gently around my skin, he had me ultimately in his hold, noses almost brushing against each other. My hues flickered between his eyes and lips, the warmth of him and the feeling he brought pushed through every flush of blood,

The tension was touchable, the air thickened, and without another thought, my hand moved to his face, my fingertips mildly stroking against the porcelain skin. It felt soft, feeling the strange sensation of needing him, needing to feel something after the draining moment and even if I never would come to understand why,

Draco Malfoy made me feel everything.

____________


	14. T h i r t e e n ,

I stared once again darkly at my own reflection in the mirror, struggling to hide the filthy word Adrian had carved into my skin, today — it reddened even more than yesterday, the stinging feeling of my skin trying to heal ached beneath the fabric of my shirt, and every time I looked at it, all my mind kept reminding me off was the exact words Adrian thought of me,

_'' You fucking slut,''_

But even if his cruel words of abuse rocked within, ever since the night, in the library with the blonde-haired boy. Everything felt easier in some ways. The air felt lighter, easier to breathe, waking up in the mornings and falling asleep at night didn't seem like a challenge anymore — merely as if what Draco did, the spell he trapped me in lifted a heavy weight off my chest, it numbed every aching sense I held within,

Adrian was nowhere to be seen, probably still aiding the death eaters in their mission t serve the dark lord, and even if he didn't bother to send me a letter or even visiting me once, right now — I didn't care.

I enjoyed my time alone with Draco and Theodore, the two boys who did everything possible not to leave my side, nearly as if they took turns shielding me from the vile boy Adrian had left me with. Blaise made sure for me to sleep in Adrian's room every night and even if he never admitted to it. I knew he did it to keep me close, not to lose track of my being, but that didn't bother me as much as it should, because in my thought's it only brought me closer to the two Slytherins I did cherish to be around,

The door to Adrian's room flung open as my best friend happily marched inside, flopping down onto the bed without a word spoken, grinning cheekily. '' Goodmorning,'' Theodore mocked, raising a brow at my shocked figure, '' Admiring yourself in the mirror again, are you now, love?''

My eyes rolled at his tells as I huffingly turned back to the mirror, straightening my shirt one more time to make sure the nasty bruise had no chance of showing, '' On the other hand, why would you do that? You already know you're the most beautiful human being there is,'' He quieted down behind me, making my neck snap to look at him again,

'' You don't mean that—,'' I let out, chewing my bottom lip as I strode towards him, '' You have to say that, because we're best friends,'' I taunted him, bending over him to pick my robe up from the edge of the bed. But instead of biting back, he snatched my arm, wrestling me down beneath him on the mattress,

The cheeky smile revealed his dimples most charmingly, feeling his warm scent of honey circling my senses, '' I do not just say that because I'm your friend. I'm saying it because it's true,'' The messy strands of his hair tickled my forehead, '' Don't ever think otherwise,''

Theodore climbed off me, standing tall next to the bed as he reached his hand out for me to take, smirking devilishly, '' Fine—,'' I groaned, taking the heated hand in mine, '' What are you doing today? I saw that you didn't have any classes—,''

'' Nothing.'' He was quick to cut me off, scratching the back of his head as we strolled through the dungeons, '' How did it go with Malfoy the other night? I forgot to ask about it,'' He pushed the massive wooden door leading out in the corridors open, gesturing for me to walk ahead,

I sucked in a harsh breath as I thought of it, as I thought of him, the blonde boy, '' It went... well I suppose,'' I smiled, seeking to hide it by hugging my books closer to my chest, '' Or I hope it did, he said it was good for being the first time,''

I peered up at the tall boy walking beside me, the muscle in jaw slightly clenched, '' That's—, good,'' He spoke, stiffly, noticing his bushy eyebrows furrowed, '' I have to go—,'' He halted in his steps, tugging me back as his eyes flickered to the end of the hall, and out of curiosity my eyes snapped to the man and lady holding at the end of it,

My eyes grew wide as a smile arched my lips, '' Why didn't you tell me your father is visiting?'' I giggled with excitement, slipping out of the hold he had on my arm, almost skipping my way down the busy hallway,

'' Amelie, wait—,''

'' Mr. Nott—,'' I smiled even broader, sauntering into his arms being held out to wrap around me, '' How are you, sir?''

His father chuckled darkly before letting go of me, eyeing me down. I had always loved Theodore's father, he was one of the kindest men I had the pleasure to know and one of the only death eaters who didn't punish their children, but that did not stop his father, Theodore's grandfather to grant my best friend with the abuse Mr. Nott refused to curse him with,

'' Everything is good with me, Amelie. How is your father, does he—,'' The man in front of me held his talks as I felt a chest pushed up again my back, '' Theodore,'' His father grumbled at my best friends presence, " You failed to tell me, young Amelie here was free to join us,"

Theodore's whole figure tensed, and I instantly caught on to what this was about. His mother.

" I didn't want to bother her. She had classes she needs to attend to—"

" Nonsense, son. I'm certain that Amelie would love to come with, isn't that right?" Mr. Nott's eyes locked in mine, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat. Theodore shrugged before stepping up beside me, shouldering me to the side, tilting his head to shake it,

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his acts, shouldering him back, " I would love to," I nodded, politely,

_________

'' These were beautiful, right?'' I held up the bouquet, the pastel colors of white and beige pionies mixed with the strands of green leaves, '' They remind me of—,''

'' No. Not those,'' He snapped back, snatching the posy out of my hands, hauling them back in the bucket, '' I want...'' He sucked in a breath, his green eyes eagerly searched for the perfect bouquet, fingers fiddling with the petals,

'' These—,'' Theodore smiled, grabbing a bundle of red, majestic roses, '' These are perfect,'' He took a shoe back, holding them up between us, '' She would love these, don't you think?'' I quickly nodded, feeling proud of my best friend and his bravery. This was a day I knew he deeply within loathed, yet, every year, he managed to keep his head high, swallowing the sorrow I knew tore him in two,

'' Why didn't you tell me that you were going today?'' I questioned him, making his face fall in a guilty look, his fingertips nervously twitching around the flowers, '' I always go with you, why didn't you want me to come with you this year?''

He let out a sigh, narrowing green eyes in mine, '' You seemed so happy, with Adrian not being here, and becoming friends with Malfoy —, I didn't want to ruin things for you,'' Theodore hushed, the dimples faded into his lightly tanned skin, he looked sad, confused, bothered,

The brown-haired boy who always confided in me, no matter what either of us was going through or not, he always talked to me — but not now, he shut me out, in a way he'd never done before,

My hand stretched to brush a curl off his forehead, my thumb in gentle strokes over his cheeks, '' No matter what, Teddy, you have to talk to me, regardless where I am och that I'm doing. I will always be here for you, and this—,'' I tilted my head at the bouquet in his hands, '' This is something _we_ do, not just you —, _we_.'' My face twisted in a slight grimace, playfully pouting at him,

'' I know—,'' Theodore whispered, hodded sights grounded, shoulders sunk, '' I'm sorry,'' I booted closer, my arms clung around his neck to pull him in, hugging him closely,

'' It's you and me, Teddy. Never forget that,''

Both of us walked alongside each other, up the cashier, where his father waited for us, chatting with the lady behind the desk, '' Done already?'' Mr. Nott grinned, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, '' They are lovely,''

The warm autumn breeze swirled through my hair as the grit crackled underneath our steps, strolling our way down the gravel path, right down to the stones placed next to the lake. Typically, when you're laid here, they place you up on the hill — but not his mother. Theodore wanted her to rest peacefully, away from everyone, and she did.

Her gravestone stood gracious, right where water matched earth, in the middle of two sides, two elements, exactly how it held when she was still alive. Mr. Nott walked ahead, nodding for the two of us to stay behind — he wished to be alone with his late wife, he always sought to talk to her before we did, '' Preparing her for what's about to come,'' He usually joked in attempts to lighten up the mood, but I don't think anything could ever ease this place,

Theodore's mother was more than an angel. She was the sweetest, kindest human being that I have ever lived to meet, but as spoken the day she laid on her deathbed, the day she was taken from us, too soon,

'' She will live in the hearts she left behind,'' I breathed out, not meaning to but the look of her stone, his father, leaning against it as he hummed for himself, and by best friend standing beside me — holding his breath not to cry,

I felt a warm arm wrapping around me, pulling me in, '' I love you, Amelie—,'' Theodore mumbled into my hair, placing kisses on the top of my head, '' Promise never to leave me,'' My eyes snapped to his as I bent my neck back, smiling sweetly at him,

'' I promise, Teddy—,''

'' There you go, she's all yours—,'' His father grumbled, taking long strides past us, '' I'll be—,'' He bowed his head at the bench holding at the side of the road. My eyes flickered to Theodore's, noticing his jaws biting together as he looked after his father,

'' Go ahead—, I'll be—,'' He hushed, rapidly sprinting after Mr. Nott. He didn't want his father to morn in his own head, since his mother passed away, Mr. Nott has gone to the lengths of using substances to ease the haunted mind,

I slipped down, my spine stout against the rock, '' I missed you, Ava,'' I whispered out in the wind, my hand reaching to roll some blades of grass between my fingertips, '' I miss you so much, and I can take the wildest guess and guess that you miss us too—,'' My head collided with the stone, my knees dragged up to my chest to avoid the rippling water,

'' Teddy is good—, I think. He's been keeping things from me, Ava, and I don't know what to do about that. It's always been the other way around, you know? It's always been him trying to rip my walls down, but now—,'' I held, smiling for myself as I watched Theodore and his father, holding each other as the sunbeams trickled over them, stretching over every inch of this beautiful place,

'' I'm scared he'll leave me, Ava. I'm terrified that he'll wake up one day and realize that this isn't what he wants anymore, that he's afraid to live the life he knows is coming and that, to be honest, scares the hell out of me—,''

'' So I need some help. I need to know what I'm supposed to do when everything becomes too much for him,'' I quieted down, brushing the strands of grass off the smooth fabric of my shirt before I leaned back down, '' I met someone,''

My cheeks flushed in color the instant he crossed my mind, '' I'm starting to become friends with Draco... I think,'' I chewed on my bottom lip, trying not to seek pleasure in a moment like this one, '' But that's not what's important—, _you_ _are_. Because today—,'' I pushed my palms against the sod covered ground, standing tall,

'' Today you've been gone for nine years,'' I smiled, feeling my fingertips tenderly stroking against the gravestone, '' And we all miss you more and more every day that passes,'' The tears urging to fall — fell by the memory of her.

The images of her still being here plagued my mind. She didn't live to be a cherished lady, the other wealthy death eaters loathed her because she was the only one out of hundreds who took the muggles in defense. She was unbelievably young, kind, and nothing a death eater should be, but she was trapped, by Theodore's grandfather in similar ways I now lived to be, by the Pucey's, and she had Theodore when she was no more than sixteen years old,

But the day she turned twenty-three, his grandfather cursed her just enough for us to find her, barley alive, nine years ago,

I shook my head, squeezing my hand into my chest, '' But you're still _here_ , with all three of us, every day,''

_________

Blaise sent me the evilest of glares as he slipped down on his seat next to mine, huffing loudly, '' Where were you last night?'' He snarled through question, slamming his books onto his desk,

I cringed by the clonking sound, my eyes immediately flickered to please his, '' I don't know what you—,''

'' Don't lie to me,'' He snapped, turning wholly around to face me, ignoring the fact that the students around us are paying attention to his acts, '' You weren't in his room, and not in the bathroom, so, where did you go?'' He asked again; teeth gritted as he stared right through me,

I choked on my bravery, scared to tell him the truth about where I was, '' I went to Pansy's room, she needed help, with _something_...'' I tried lying, looking more than startled at the boy placed beside me, his fists clenched around the spine of his book, furious to know that I just lied, '' I promise, Blaise — I didn't,''

'' You _embarrassing_ —,'' He rose, his hand flew to the back of my neck, grabbing a fist full of hair to yank my head back, '' You know that I have to tell him about this, _right?_ And I can't wait to see what he'll do to you once—,''

Gasp.

Gasps of the nosey students echoed throughout the classroom,

 **'' Mr. Zabini,''** Snape growled out, marching his way up to our desks, forcing his hands down onto the worn wood, '' Let go of miss Avery, this instant or I will—,'' Blaise immediately released the tight grip of my hair, rolling his eyes as he turned away from me, not caring about the warning Professor Snape just granted him with — he simply held, quite as ignorant as he usually did,

'' That will be detention for you, Mr. Zabini.'' Snape snarled once more, sending me a slight nod before he stormed back to the front of the class,

I felt myself sinking further down my seat as every student in this class looked at me, whispering, mumbling to what Blaise both did and said — I was more than ashamed. I felt exposed, embarrassed as if someone had caught me doing something unlawful, and even if I knew deep down, beneath all the years of abuse, that this wasn't my fault, that this was _his_ fault, that both his and Adrian's twisted minds was to blame for doing this and not me,

I was still the one responsible for it.

I looked down at the books resting in front of me, muffled the sniffing sound urging to leave my lips before it even was audible, '' I have to—,'' I breathed out, pushing my chair back, '' May I be excused, Professor?'' I asked politely, feeling tears burning through my eyes,

'' Yes, you may,'' Snape answered, sternly without even looking at me, the second I gathered my books, picking up my quill, ready to flee the moment I had feared for so long, Blaise's hand yanked my wrist back, standing dangerously tall next to me,

'' If _she's_ leaving. I have to—,''

'' No. You're staying right here, Mr. Zabini, or do you wish for your mother to find out about this... _situation_?''

Blaise slightly forced me back, cursing underneath his breath as he hunched down on his seat again, staring devilishly at me, '' That's what I thought.'' Snape spun around. The greasy black hair fell over his eyes while nodding at me, pointing at the door, ''Miss. Avery, you may leave now,''

I nearly sprinted out of the classroom, not even bothered enough to close the door behind me as I went. The tears I fought to hold back failed me the minute I stood confused in the crowded hallway — scared, lonely, ashamed. That was all emotion that kept pushing through my veins, the horrible truth that people now _knew_ what Adrian did to me, that the whole class not only saw but heard the cruel words dropping off Blaise's tongue,

I held ultimately still, looking out over the students walking by before I cringed out of my trance by someone's shoulder slamming into mine, '' I'm sorry—,'' I mumbled, keeping my head down for no one to see the tears staining my drained skin,

I rushed out of the corridor with quick steps, headed to my room with the belief of having some peace, to not see or talk to anyone. All I wished for was to be alone, to process this within the walls of my own safety, not to be inflicted by anyone else,

The second I turned the corner,

I stumbled back, crashing right into a familiar warm chest, and right before I hade the chance to fall to the ground, the cold hand swirled around me, keeping me steady on my two feet, '' Amelie, are you—,'' The look of my breaking self hewed him off, making his features to fall at the face of mine. I didn't dare to level his eyes, too ashamed, too startled to even look at another human being at this point,

'' What happened?'' He questioned me, the shift in his tone trailed shivers down my spine, my lower lip quivering, '' Nothi—,'' But before I could even answer him correctly, a sob escaped my throat, and the courage I once held for moments similar to this one — broke, completely. With my head buried in his chest, his arms protectingly wrapped around my trembling figure, he led me out of the hallway, away from everyone's curious eyes,

Draco closed the empty classroom door behind us before he loosened his grip to peer down at me, and there it was again, the second my beaten eyes parallelled his, the hurt, caring look glinted through them, '' Tell me what happened,''

But I didn't earn the nerve to do so, because even if I knew that Draco somewhere underneath his cold facade had a weaker spot for me, I also knew that he had the worst temper when things changed in his mind, and I would never want to be to blame for someone getting hurt, not even a heartless, vile boy as Blaise,

Draco's cold fingertips brushed against my ear, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind it, '' You know that I can ask anyone in this school what happened, right? So the best thing would be for you to tell me before I go ahead and do just that—,'' The sinking feeling within ached, even more, my stomach almost bending over as I thought of it, the humiliation of someone else speaking their thoughts to Draco of what Blaise did to me,

I gently nodded at the blonde boy standing before me, swallowing the anxiety of wanting to ease my own pain, the need for that particular piece of metallic to rip through my skin, and the second I tried speaking, the instant he pulled his touch away, my eyes unexpectedly flickered to his arm, noticing the sleeve of his robe hitched up, inches over his skin,

My eyes grew,

My breaths hitched,

As the rolled-up sleeve revealed the mark.

The dark mark.

_____________


	15. F o u r t e e n ,

**This chapter contains scenes of violent actions. Please read with caution.**

**_______**

'' What is this, Draco?'' I uttered quietly, already knowing what the mark meant since Adrian recently was granted with his, but the thing that nagged me, that annoyed my mind to the edge of breaking — was that he didn't say anything, that no one said anything about him getting it,

He yanked his arm back, roughly rolling his sleeve down, '' _Nothing_ that is of your concern,'' He spoke sternly while taking a shoe back, '' Well if you don't want to tell me what happened with —,''

'' Why should I?'' I snapped, feeling betrayed by the boy who I allowed to search my mind, '' Why should I tell you things about myself when you are more than dishonest?'' He rose a brow, jaws clasped together, '' This goes both ways, Draco—,''

Draco swallowed his stubbornness, tilting his head to the side, not to look at me, '' I know it does.'' He issued, sounding quite annoyed with the truth of needing to explain himself, '' I know it goes two ways, Amelie — and I want it to, but this is for your own safety,''

I didn't believe it was. I allowed him to see everything, to feel everything I felt, only for him to shut me out, for him to not trust me the way I trusted him. He didn't trust me. It clouded my mind, blood swelled my ears, even if he didn't speak it, even if he never said that he didn't trust me, it undoubtedly seemed as if that was the case,

My sights grounded as my bravery fell, everything I had worked so hard for with him, wasted. " I'm sorry—," I hushed down, striding past him, " I won't bother you anymore—"

He snatched me by the arm, pulling me back to where I stood, " Don't do that. Don't walk away from me–," His eyes glared into mine, a swiftly look of anger rent through them, " If you feel the need to say something, or if you think my deeds are deeper than I'm letting on, ask me,"

" And I will try and answer in the most honest way possible,"

" But never walk away from me. Can you promise me not to do that again?"

A harsh breath filled my lungs, heart slightly pounding by his touch, " I promise," He nodded, hesitatingly, still not convinced that I would do as I promised to, but what Draco Malfoy didn't cherish, was that a promise, meant much to me. For someone that never felt the comfort of honesty, a pledge was everything.

" I trust you, Amelie–," He said, in attempts to sound severe, to mean it — but somewhere within, I knew he didn't, why would he? I was nothing to him, simply something to fix — someone to banish the instant he's through with me,

'' I'm glad that you do.''

" _Don't_ —," He caught again, narrowing green eyes in mine, " Don't push me away. Don't be that _shallow_ ,"

I felt numb, nearly out of breath to his words. I let my sights flutter through the room, over the dusty bookshelves, student desks standing in a complete mess to the right and left, avoiding the grey hues at every cost,

I cringed back, my lower back stung into a table the second his fingertips coldly yet gently swept against my cheek,

" Don't be afraid of me, Amelie—," He pulled his touch away, '' I would be the last person to hurt you,'' Even if I was scared, terrified for another person's touch, his touch didn't trouble me; instead, it calmed me, it soothed every evil thought twirling through my mind,

'' Can I look at it?'' The puzzle made him flustered, almost visibly distressed as he silently groaned, stretching his arm out to roll up the sleeve, '' Draco—,'' I felt a jittery breath rip my vocals,

His skin was reddened, his arm scratched, burned, cursed — he had done everything imaginable to eliminate it, to not have the ink coating his ashen skin,

'' Why did you do this, Draco?'' His neck closed away, withholding his sights from mine, '' Does it hurt—,'' I sought to carefully stroke my fingers over it, but the instant my touch came close to his, — he pulled away, eyebrows frowned,

A shanking hum bolted my lips, lower lips faintly shivering. He didn't want me to touch him. I could tell that this was more than challenging for the blonde-boy with him and all his secrets, emotions, hopes, buried deep inside,

But I knew what I needed to do to teach him that he could trust me, to ensure that I am more like him than he lets on. With a rigid swallow, I tenderly pull the fabric of my shirt down over my shoulder, the gesture causes his eyes to grow more than broad, but at the same time, he wants to be the gentleman he was raised to be,

His eyes continuously flicked between my hands, shoving down the textile and looking away, he had no strength in making up his mind — but the instant the end of my shirt lowered beneath the abuse Adrian put me through, the cruel word he scratched into my skin with the piece of mirror,

His eyes didn't hesitate anymore. They stared at the word, moments of silence spent where he didn't speak a term, he battled his mind, in numerous attempts to realize what to say, what to do, but nothing,

Draco stood as blank as I did, emptily gawking at each other,

_______

**Draco Malfoy,**

The word was scratched deeply into her skin, and I couldn't tear my eyes from it. Not because it satisfied me to study it, but of the way she revealed it to me,

How she, without question or force, wished to trust me, how she without anyone making her, confided in me — that painful emotion in my chest throbbed graver when she was around me. My vessels sped in some aching way the twinkling she held close, and that was the reason why I couldn't speak to her about the mark,

I knew that she held the realization that it was happening, but not when, and the only reason I couldn't explain it was because of that _stinging_ feeling, that sickening swirl chewing at my nerves,

I was born for this. I was given life to carry and cherish the mark I'd been given. To serve the dark lord. My father was sure to beat that view of life into my head at a young age,

But what Amelie didn't know, what she'll believably never know — is that all of this was intended.

I was deemed to care for her, to grow close to her and be there for her in the possibility of her father failing the dark lord, then she was the next one to take his place,

Her father was not to be trusted, yet Voldemort went to further lengths in order to keep Amelie in check, for me to keep an alert eye on her, and I did.

I carried out my task well until I watched her break down in front of me,

I viewed her pain, the pain I felt all those years before I managed to restrain it and looking at her, how her voice split in torture, how her mind haunted her, and all she wanted to do was to leave this life — I decided to stop it. I couldn't do this anymore, so I gave her the cursed necklace, hoping that the truth of that necklace would make her stay away. That hurting her would cause her to hate me,

But that was more than wishful thinking, observing her at Adrian's ceremony, watching as she within, broke in agony yet held the most gracious of facades, took my breath away,

She was irresistible,

Her pain, her gentle mind — it triggered me. Because I knew that I had fooled her, played her for the benefit of someone else, but not anymore.

Now, I wished to protect her, after being given a glimpse of her mind, to see the world spinning in her head, it would be impossible to stay away,

It was something about Amelie and all the hurt, grief, and sorrow she kept that made me...weak, vulnerable, yet more capable, strong-minded,

It was a strange thing, Draco Malfoy wanting something he couldn't have.

'' Now, will you tell me what happened?" I asked again, " Or do I have to speak with Professor Snape—,"

" It was just a childish argument with Blaise..." She held, her fingers nervously whirling a lock of brown hair in between them, " It... We—," Her hands dropped, her head slightly tilted,

" He did _something_ , in front of the whole class—,"

" He did _what_?" I growled, seeking to cut her off, " Tell me _exactly_ what Blaise did, Amelie,"

" Right now."

She blinked quickly, swallowing hard in uncertainty before she stretched her spine, winning the courage I prized rested within her, '' He grabbed me—,''

The trice I caught those words, _'' He grabbed me,''_

He touched her.

Yet again, _he_ touched _her_.

And he was more than doomed to settle for it.

I marched past her, severe sharp steps as I flung the door shut right in front of her, barring it with a spell I knew she had no chance in breaking — She had already been in enough trouble, cursing Adrian, her father coming here, she couldn't be held responsible for anything else,

But I could.

Because he touched her,

I booted the door into Professor Snape's classroom, wide open, making all the students train their heads in my direction, '' Mr. Malfoy — What are you?''

I couldn't care less for what the professor spoke. My eyes merely reamed into the boy I once called my best friend, '' Zabini,'' I threatened, teeth gritted — the shocked look rising to form on his temples only drove me on even more, '' Outside, _now_.''

'' Mr. Malfoy. Do I have to remind you that this is an ongoing class—,''

'' _Right_ _now_ , Zabini.'' Without faltering, he did as charged; he sauntered past me, rolling his eyes as he went. Professor Snape returned the favor of me interrupting his class with an evil glare, nearly promising with that stare that I haven't nor will hear the last of this,

'' What is it, Malfoy? Why are you—,''

His words cut off by my fist, colliding brutally with the sharp bone in his jaw — the punch struck him to the floor, blood shattered all over as I bent over him, hauling a napkin out of my pocket, wiping my knuckles clean of the stains as I watched his figure tremble by the aching pain that is scoring throughout his every vessel,

'' That's right, Zabini, that's your place—,'' I breathed out, earning a groan from his whining lips, '' _Always_ second to me,''

'' Remember that the next time you touch her — that was not our deal, you weren't supposed to touch her, and still, you did,''

My hands gripped around the collar of his shirt, forcing him up to look at me, his head hanging, jaws dropped as a path of blood trailed down his lip, '' You _pathetic_ halfwit,'' I snarled inches away from his face before pushing him back, striving to turn around — and the second I do, his hands gripped my ankle,

'' What about—,'' He coughed, propping himself up more from the stone-covered floor, '' What about _our_ _deal_?''

My eyes rolled at the boy's meanless words, '' You will keep doing, exactly, what we agreed on, but Blaise—,'' I held, glaring down at him, shoeing his desperate touch off me, '' If you touch her, ever again—,''

'' You're done,''

____________


	16. F i f t e e n ,

**Amelie,**

My fists repeatedly collided with the door, my palms roughly struck against the wood in a desperate attempt to force it open, non of the spells I sought to cast did the trick because he was more advanced than me.

He knew magic I didn't,

'' Help—,'' I yelled out, '' Please, someone let me out,''

But nothing, not a student, teacher, or ghost present to let me out of the classroom Draco had locked me inside — my veins swelled in panic every time my mind reached the though of him and what he would do to Blaise,

How upset and missed by his own temper he was when he stormed out, but even if I wanted to do something, to fend off the blonde boy from hurting his friend — I held no chance in doing so. My fingers brushed through my hair, taking a shoe back as I sought to give up the possibility of sneaking out of here until he came back,

I couldn't believe him, that he would do this, that he would seal the door. All he could've done was to ask me not to follow him, to let him take care of the matter — but he had watched my mind, he studied my every thought and through that, he doubtlessly knew me better than I knew myself,

I slipped onto a chair, elbows heavy on the desk as I huffed to myself — I sat there for what felt like hours, bored out of my mind, the only sound circling was the ticking clock, but barley that scored through my senses as I got used to it,

My eyes felt more than heavy as I rested my head on my arms, nearly falling asleep before I flinched back, jolting off the chair at the boy ripping the door open, '' There you are,''

I shook my head, sucking in a harsh breath as the drowsiness flooded off me, '' Theodore?'' I nearly yawned, my knuckles rubbing my eyes before my stare matched his, '' How did you—,''

'' Doesn't matter,'' He mumbled, visibly upset — he didn't look at me as he used to do. His eyes met mine for a slight second before tearing them apart. He took long strides up to me, '' We should go—,''

________

Days passed without seeing Draco, he avoided me — I could tell he did, and that didn't bother me, he was free to do as he pleased, but the feeling that managed to crawl beneath my skin was the truth where he didn't give me a reason to why he stayed clear of me,

He simply did, without as much as a word,

My eyes flicked to my best friend, his hand rested on the table as he chewed the last pieces of lunch, '' When is Adrian coming back?'' He asked, his hand stretched to take a sip of his pumpkin juice,

'' I don't know, he was—,'' I shrugged, holding my tells as I thought of him, how the peace I felt this past week was meant to be over soon, '' He was supposed to be back yesterday,''

Theodore quietly nodded, peering over his shoulder to look at the girl seated next to the Slytherin boys, '' Do we know anything else about Pansy?'' His words iced the blood flushing through my veins, my mind dizzy as I looked at her, how she sat completely numb next to Blaise, how she didn't speak to anyone,

'' No. She hasn't talked to me since _that_ night,''

He nodded again, his fork placed in between his lips to take another bite, '' I'm scared,'' He stuttered, a bitter grimace on his face as he shook his head, '' I don't—,'' He held, dropping the fork onto the table, burying his head in his hands,

'' I know—,'' I whispered, reaching over the table to stroke my hand against his, '' I know you're scared. I am too, but we can't avoid this, Teddy — we need to do this,''

His fingers parted to glare at me, sighing loudly, '' I know. I just wished we could run away like we said we would,''

I felt a shy smile arch on my lips, knowing that it would have been the best option — running away with him, to hide and stay away from everything our bloodlines craved for us to do,

'' We still could, you know—,'' I smiled, prying his hand off his front, braiding my fingers with his, '' We could leave right now, and never look back,''

'' Don't say that—,'' The boy snapped, yanking his hand away from mine, '' Don't say things you don't mean,''

My face fell into guilt, pulling my touch away as I stretched my spine, '' But what if I do mean it, what if we just—,''

'' Amelie,'' - shivers trailed a path down my spine as I caught his voice close, '' You need to come with me,'' I spun around in my seat, fingers grasping at the backrest of my chair,

The vile brown eyes bored through mine, not a single emotion shifted on his highlights as he stared at me, impatiently waiting for me to stand tall and leave with him, '' No—,''

Theodore's neck popped up, green hues flickered between the both of us — and I knew the reasonable thing was to leave with Blaise, to walk to class with him as I did every day, but today,

I didn't want to.

I was tired, sick of being the one in the wrong, to be the one living under constant supervision, and I couldn't do it anymore. If Adrian were to be here, things might have turned differently, but he wasn't — he was still in the wind of his missions, and I was stuck here, with Blaise,

As it always had been,

He always left, and I was to be held behind, waiting for my love to return, similar to the wife of soldiers you read in old dusty books,

It was always me waiting,

Always me on hold,

For everything,

But not anymore.

I have given my life to the boy I promised my hand to, yet it wasn't enough. He craved to take every single piece of light and heaven away, and he did, slowly — merely as if I didn't noticed it,

It started with the way I dressed, how he, in small, gentle words, asked me to change the little things, but the tiny details shifted in mean comments and cosmic trades,

My friends that I always kept close and dear was being replaced with him — him giving me a guilty mind for spending time with the people I cherished the most and not the boy I loved,

The way I existed, he suffocated every inch of place I held in this world, a little tiny bit at the time, but those small inches quickly turned into feet of abuse, and before I knew what was happening before I even had a slight chance to get out,

I was trapped,

Chained in a lie for the rest of my life, with a boy who sought to do everything possible to kill me, slowly, unnoticeable,

'' What did you say?'' Blaise growled, taking a stride forwards, his hand stretched in the air to snatch me by the arm, but before his fingers could clutch around my skin, he hewed himself off, pulling away the cruel touch he sought to bring,

I rose a brow, my eyes peering over his shoulder, immediately locking at the blonde boy with his shoulder leaning against a wall. My heart fluttered at the look of him, his hands shoved into his pockets, the black signature jacked firmly suited over his chest.

The grey eyes studied mine for the briefest of seconds before Blaise closed in again, bending down to parallel my gaze, '' I told you that we have to—,''

'' And I told you that I'm not coming with you—,'' I turned to Theodore again, noticing the startled look climbing his front, '' You go ahead and leave because I won't—,''

'' Darling—,''

I froze,

Entirely by his husky vocals, tearing loudly throughout the busy hall,

My head snapped to the entrance,

And there he was,

Adrian,

Standing in the doorway with his arms held out for me,

Even if there was a slight wash of relief welling over me, the heavy feeling in my chest lingered as if someone put pressure upon it, a fist clenching around my heart,

The courage I held only seconds ago was blown away, taken from the instant I saw him, how worn he looked, yet so much stronger,

I pushed myself off my seat, sensing Theodore's stare following my every step until I held inches apart from him, the boy I love so deeply and dearly,

My fingertips lightly brushed over his cheek as he watched me, the green eyes locked in mine — his skin soared weary, pale, '' I missed you—,'' He spoke with confidence before his head dipped to mine, kissing me gently,

'' I missed you more,'' I whispered. My arms moved around his neck to pull him closer, but even if I had him close, near — even if everything I believed I ever wanted was right here, in my arms, home with me again,

My eyes searched for Draco's, and the longing feeling of him scored through my every sense,

________

**Draco Malfoy,**

My spine arched off the wall as I watched her hold him. The way her arms wrapped around his neck made me sick, how he pulled her closer, burying his head into her shoulder, whispering lies after lies to her,

I wanted to kill him,

Right there and then,

But I couldn't do that.

He was of value to the dark lord, the way Adrian's mind worked, how he felt no sympathy, no remorse for his acts made him a machine, all for the death eaters to use as they pleased,

He was a murderer — the humans he had ceased of life while being away was countless. They wielded the boy to their fullest and turned him into someone we all feared,

And now, he was here — with his arms wrapped around her waist, breathing the scent of newly cut flowers in, her scent.

The hands he had used for such horrifying acts, was now tangled into her hair, bending her head back to place another kiss on her lips,

And she let him, she was as foolish as he was, but she didn't know — she was manipulated, toyed with to the extent of not being able to tell the difference between right and wrong, black and white,

Her world was grey — a fusion of grasping the light of truth and being kept in the utter dark,

I marched past them, out of the hall. I couldn't look at it anymore, at them, at her.

I had played her just as he had done, but the difference between Adrian and me was that he showed his true colors — I didn't.

I lied. I was soft, gentle with her, and all for acts,

I was a liar, and I didn't deserve her at all,

I didn't even deserve to look at her. I wasn't worthy of the respect she kept granting me with, and I knew that if she even sought to grow closer to me — I would be trapped, that I had no chance in staying away from her,

So I had to avoid her before it was too late. I needed to distance myself — a girl like her, a human with so much compassion and grace, I would never be named to have, because whatever Adrian had done, every cruel, inhuman act he had executed for the dark lord,

I had done worse.

'' _Malfoy_ —,'' His voice rushed after me, palms pushed into my shoulder to slam me against the wall, '' What the _fuck_ are you up to, Malfoy—,''

My spine collided heavily with the stone, eyes snapping up to face his green ones, '' Don't you fucking touch me, Nott—,'' I spat, forcing myself off the wall, brushing the material of my jacket off before once again leveling the furious boy,

'' Then tell me what you're up to. What are you doing with Amelie?'' His vocals harsh yet low, presumably scared that his best friend would hear us. Theodore grew impatient with my silence as my head clouded by his question,

'' I don't know what you—,''

'' Don't lie to me, Draco—,'' He cut me off, his hands frustratingly scratching over his jaw, '' I heard you and Blaise the other day,''

My insides twisted as the guilt of what I had done caved inside, '' I said that I don't know—,''

'' The _deal_ , Malfoy,''

'' The fucking deal you made,''

Theodore's arms thrown in the air as he narrowed green eyes in mine, '' Do you think that I'm stupid? That _she's_ stupid? No wonder that you were so eager to help her, to be close to her—,''

My temper missed me completely at his words, not knowing how wrong he was — my hand flew to his throat, forcing him down onto the ground in a sudden move, '' You have no idea what you're talking about, Nott—,'' I seethed, teeth gritted as my wand pressed against his chest,

'' This doesn't concern you, or her, so stay out of it,''

The boy let out a quiet whimper at my doings, prying my wand away from him as he pushed me back, '' Why do you care so much anyways, Nott?'' I mockingly smirked, knowing exactly why he was this startled with me,

'' Don't forget that I watched _your_ mind too, Theodore. I know how you feel about her, how she's the reason to why—,''

'' Shut the fuck up, Malfoy. _Right_ _now_ —,''

The tension around us grew, the air circling us thickened,

His figure visibly shaking, his skin flushed in color, '' Then you should do the same, Nott — Just as I have nothing to do with _your_ secrets, you have nothing to do with _mine_ ,''

I felt my hand clenching around my wand — all I craved to do at this moment was to kill him, to do what I had done so many times before because he had failed her.

He knew, he saw, he lived right next to her as the abuse turned even more violent, and he did nothing,

He didn't deserve her, just like I didn't,

But she needed him. I noted that in her mind, that he was more than necessary to her, that he was the reason she still lived to see another day, and I could never take that away from her,

Theodore shook his head, jaws bitten into a sharp line, '' But this is about her, you _lied_ to her—,''

'' Who lied to me?'' Her heavenly voice uttered from behind me, her heels halted inched away as her head flickered between us,

'' Who lied to me?''

_________


	17. S i x t e e n ,

**Amelie,**

'' Who lied to me?'' I asked the both of them, confused as to why they both jumped apart the second they caught onto my voice,

'' Well? Who lied to me?'' I asked again,

But nothing, neither of the boys uttered a single word, they merely stood startled in front of me, granting me the guiltiest of looks,

I felt a hand on my lower back, pulling me close into a familiar chest as I swallowed, trying not to flinch at the touch he brought, '' Are you ready?'' Adrian urged, eyeing both Theodore and Draco down,

'' Or do you want to keep standing here with _those_ —,'' He held as a disgusted glare shot between them,

'' Don't be rude, Adrian,'' I mumbled, peering up at him, smiling shyly, '' I'll go with you—,''

Theodore took a step closer, staring intensely into Adrian's cruel eyes, '' Where are you taking her?'' He spoke, his tone low yet threatening — his head snapped to the blonde one as he placed a hand on Theodore's shoulder,

'' Easy there, Nott,'' Draco seethed, almost urgently, sending the brown-haired boy a severe look, not wanting him to start something similar to last time the Slytherin boys argued, '' I'd like to have a word with Amelie, if I may?''

Adrian tensed, his body shifted in stone next to mine, his warm breaths nearly icing, '' Why?'' He questioned the blonde one's intentions, '' Why do you need a word—,''

'' _Adrian_ ,'' I hewed him off, turning around in his hold, facing him fully, '' Go ahead, and I'll meet you in your room,''

'' I deserve to say goodbye,''

Adrian didn't answer; his eyes were glued in mine, his fingers dug into my flesh before he slowly let go, slightly nodding, '' Five minutes,'' - with that, the boy I held so dearly snatched Theodore by his arm, dragging him down the hall from us,

My heart ached as I met Theodore's stare, frightened as to why Adrian pulled him away, before my eyes flickered to Draco's, watching as he stood tall in front of me.

His grey hues caught me off guard, the way I always fell lost into them, '' What did you—,''

'' Where is he taking you?''

The demeanor of the boy in front of me changed utterly — the warm embrace he always brought washed in gravity, '' I asked you a question, Amelie,'' I looked at him, how the crease in his forehead formed, how his eyelashes battled, narrowing grey hues in mine,

'' To his mothers, he said—,''

'' You can't go there,''

I stepped back, arms crossed over my chest as I shook my head, stray stands off hair spilled over my shoulders — I was trying to understand him, to grasp a little of the reality he granted, but Draco was a mysterious boy,

A boy with many secrets, a boy with a deep, dark hidden place, where no one but him was allowed to enter — and I tried. I sought to open him up, to get the boy to talk to me, but when I did, he shut me out,

He refused to talk to me for days, and now?

Now he believed that he could ask me, nevertheless _tell_ me what to do,

My face twisted, lips pushed into a firm line, '' And why is that, Draco?''

'' Why can't I leave with Adrian?''

He held a look of remorse, hesitatingly holding his tells before he let out a loud huff, '' Walk with me?'' His hand gestured to walk down the hall, to the entrance leading out of the castle,

I shook my head yet again, arms dropping to my side as I took another shoe back, '' I can't. He said five minutes,''

Draco rolled his eyes, holding out his arm for me to grab,

'' I don't care about Adrian, he can wait, and if he ever does something to punish you for it — I'll deal with him, in the way he deserves,''

It felt friendly, safe, comforting to hold onto him, to have my arm in his as he walked with me in complete silence, down the courtyard, over the bridge, halting at the edge of the dark forest.

Draco's eyes slipped to watch mine, the uncertain fright swelled through my vessels as I stared into the mass of trees, how the sky shifted darkly just where the forest began, how the noises of animals hunting for their prays between the timber,

My breaths stuck in my throat, '' What are we doing here?'' I quietly asked, stepping an inch closer to the tall boy, '' I mean, it's not safe here, right?''

'' It's safe,'' He said, shortly, before taking long strides in between the wood, his hand placed on my arm to prevent me from dropping out of his hold,

The leaves fell from the tree crowns crackled underneath our shoes, and even if the forest shifted in shades of dimmed dark, it was something that felt at peace here — as if the evilest of things out in the world couldn't get us here, we stayed safe in the dangerous,

Draco stopped, halted in his steps before he let his hand off mine, letting it drop to his side as he turned to face me,

He glanced at me, the guilt flashed through his eyes as he tried to hide it, '' I need to speak to you about _something_ ,''

I lightly nodded, my fingers nervously twitched as I held a serious look — the chilly strokes of wind tugged at our cheeks,

'' There is something you need to know, about Adrian—,''

My veins iced, my heart heavy as I nodded again,

'' He's not taking you to his mother...''

My eyes narrowed in his, my arms hugged around myself, '' He's not?'' I stuttered, my mind dizzy in question,

'' He's not—,'' He held, a hand brushing over his sleek hair, '' He's taking you to the death eaters, your father has requested you to—,''

Silence,

But even if he greeted me with quietness — I wasn't stupid. I knew what this meant and what he was trying to tell me,

'' Why didn't you tell me?'' My brows furrowed, my breaths hitched, '' I knew this was coming. I know that he wants me to unite with his side, and I promised him to do so, but what I don't understand, Draco—,''

My eyes searched his, everything around us faded, '' What I don't understand is why you would keep this from me, why Adrian would... _unless_ —,''

'' Unless my father isn't with them anymore,''

'' No,'' I gasped at my own words the second they came to mind,

'' No,''

'' No,''

'' No,''

Draco sighed loudly, gently bowing his head at my suspicion, '' It's true, Amelie—,''

'' Your father escaped, and he's nowhere to be found—,''

I shook my head, battling the tears urging to fall only by the thought of it — he knew the danger he would put me in if he left. If he abandoned the dark lord in his most craving time, and I knew what this meant,

**Amelie's flashback,**

_Her hand stroked Amelie's cheek, fingertips brushed against the tender skin, '' You know you're safe here, with me, right love?'' Her mother spoke, gently tucking a curl behind her hear,_

_'' I know, mother,''_

_Her mother smiled with bravery as_ _s_ _he pulled away, dragging the covers over her daughter's chest, '' But you need to understand something, my dear—,''_

_The brown eyes Amelie always found comfort in stared deeply, the light of the lamp placed on her nightstand brightened the dark_ _room_ _, '' That one day, not far from now —, I will be gone, and you have to trust your father,''_

_Amelie's face shifted in a grimace, her head shook against the soft pillow, '' I can't—,''_

_'' Yes, you can, because in the_ _far_ _future, he will leave too, and then it's just you,''_

_'' And I need you to understand what will happen to you the day he_ _decides to leave,"_

_The shaking of Amelie's head turned into a slight nod, giving her mother the permission she sought to speak, to tell her daughter the truth of her future,_

_'' The dark lord has wishe_ _s_ _for you father, things that he craves for him to do — that you father can not...''_

_'' Handle,''_

_Amelie stayed quiet, laying completely still in her bed,_ _unwillingly_ _taking in every word her mother spoke,_

_'' And that means that he one day when a certain request is asked, he has to leave —, and when he does, the dark lord is going to turn to the next one in the Avery bloodline—,''_

_'' Me?'' She hushed, closing her eyes as her mother stroked a hand softly over Amelie's forehead, '' Yes dear, he will turn to you,''_

_With a harsh breath sucked in between her teeth, she rose from her resting position, placing herself next to her mother,_

_'' What does he want me to do?'' She asked, politely, not knowing is she would pass an undrawn line_ _with her curious questions,_

_Her mother forced a smile, taking her daughters hand in hers, '' That's not of the matter right now, when the time comes — I'm more than convinced that someone is going to tell you about this,''_

_'' And when they do—,'' She hesitated, a fallen look climbed her front,_

_'' You need to hide, love. You need to stay as far away from the dark lord as you possibly can,''_

_'' Will you promise me that?''_

_'' Will you promise me that, dear_ _? That_ _when I'm not here to protect_ _you—,"_

_" That you_ _will_ _to protect yourself_ _?"_

_Amelie didn't know what to say, so with a slight bow of her head, she agreed to the words her mother had spoken — deeply within confused, curious, scared to what this meant, but she promised her mother,_

_And a promise, for a girl that never felt much truth,_

_A promise was everything,_

________

My eyes prickled in tears, my chest heavily rising and falling beneath my robe as I clocked my eyes with his, the grey one's,

'' He's gone?'' I asked Draco, wishing for any answer but the truth, waiting for something else than what I knew was coming,

'' Why do you think they sent Adrian back here?''

I stumbled back, my heel stuck in a root as I almost tripped, but before I had the chance to hit the ground, he held me, the boy that no matter what happened, no restrain of where he caught me,

He always had me,

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his chest, feeling my figure tremble in the grip of his, '' It's alright, Amelie—,'' He whispered into my hair,

'' Remember when I told you that no one can hurt you here,''

'' With me — you're _always_ safe,''

The salty liquid poured down my drained cheeks, my fingers grasped at his jacket to pull myself into him, seeking the warmth he brought, '' I—, I can't—,''

'' _Sweetheart_ —,'' He held, in an attempt to break through to me, bending his head down to look at me, his hand cupped my cheek as s ring-coated thumb rubbed in circles,

'' I wouldn't let anything happen to you,'' The corner of his mouth twitched, his eyes held mine softly,

'' You have felt more hurt than anyone should ever have to do, but you don't have to do that anymore,''

I blinked quickly, seeking to find the answer I knew he had, the tree crowns brushed in the wind, his blonde hair nearly danced in the frisky breeze,

'' You deserve so much more, Amelie, and I am ready to give you _everything_ —,''

'' But we have to leave, and we have to leave _now_ ,''

_________


	18. S e v e n t e e n ,

**Draco Malfoy,**

Amelie stood as frozen before me, her lower lip trembling. She didn't want to leave, she showed it more than well — and I could see that the resistance wasn't held for Adrian; it was for Theodore,

She loved her best friend more than anything else, and to be the one taking her away from him, ached inside, a swirl of feeling that I wasn't used to,

'' Amelie—,'' I sought to reach out for her, but nothing, she held still, her eyes bored through mine as a shaky breath fled her lips,

She shook her head, staring emptily at me, '' I can't go, Draco,''

'' I can't leave everything behind just because my father chose to escape. It doesn't work like that,''

I swallowed, trying to imagine how this could play out, every scenario possible flashed my mind as I grumbled, '' I know it doesn't, but it has to, staying here isn't working for anyone right now—,''

'' Especially not for you,''

Amelie sucked in a harsh breath, locking her eyes sealed as she placed her palms into my chest, the small fingers crumbled, '' I don't know what you want me to do, Draco,''

'' I want you to leave, we need to—,''

'' I can't!''

Her voice tore through the timber around us, echoing loudly, but she didn't move. Her eyes fell to look into my jacket, the tears prickling in them glinted,

'' I can't, Draco. I can't leave,''

My head rose, looking over the darkness, the crackling noise of the unknown sounded as the leaves shrugged by the airy wind,

'' Why?'' I looked down on her again, '' Why can't you leave?''

She huffed, her forehead dipped into my chest,

She trusted me,

Amelie trusted me in ways she never trusted anyone before, and even if she didn't say it — I knew because, after years of abuse, you don't familiarize touch that easily,

You stay clear of it, and that's what she used to do,

She stayed clear of every touch possible because all she ever felt in another person was hatred, spite, hurt — but not with me,

I was gentle with her, kind,

I showed her that I was to be trusted, and after weeks of trying — she finally did. She trusted me,

Just like I needed her to do,

I needed her to join me, willingly,

That was the only way the dark lord would accept her.

Her father did leave. He fled, and Adrian was coming back for her, but not to hand her over to the death eaters — no,

That was my task, that was my deal to get my father released from under Voldemort's power. His life for hers, and even if I had grown to care for Amelie, even if I had granted her with many shallow promises — I had to do this, or he would kill my father,

At first, the dark lord used me as leverage — he sought for me to the cruelest of things to other human beings, and I did,

I used my magic to take the lives of others, to torture them beyond imagination,

I was a monster, and she — she was my pray,

'' We need to leave, _now_ ,''

She still hesitated; her head felt heavy against my chest as I gripped her shoulders, holding her back to face her, '' You're alright here, Amelie,''

'' I promise you that I won't let anyone hurt you,''

I needed to convince her, she needed to unite with the dark side on her own matters, or she wasn't of use, that was the deal,

'' What about Theo—,''

Shouting scored from afar, footsteps rushed closer through the woods — they knew,

_'' Amelie,''_

_'' Amelie, are you here?''_

I held her close as they marched closer, my wand glued into my hand as I rose it against the voices, '' Whatever you do, Amelie, don't believe a word of what they tell you,''

'' Why shouldn't I—,''

She didn't look at me, she merely held onto me, shaking out of her beliefs that her boyfriend was coming to take her away,

To take her to the Malfoy Manor, for the dark side to do as they wished with her, to turn her into one of them to complete her father's task — when he was really here, to save her from me and what I had to do,

'' What the _fuck_ are you doing with her, Malfoy?'' His voice tore in spite, '' Let her go right now,''

Adrian aimed his wand towards us, holding it paralleled to mine, '' Adrian—,''

'' No, let her go right now, Malfoy,''

I swallowed, my jaws clenched as she stepped back from me, her head snapping between the both of us, '' Is it true, Adrian?'' She stuttered, her voice airy in disbelief, '' Are you going to—,''

'' Amelie,'' Theodore breathed out, striding closer, '' Don't leave with him, you don't know what he—,''

'' That's _enough_ , Nott,'' I spat, feeling my temper missing me, my blood fuming,

They would convince her to stay. I knew they were, especially Theodore, and he had a hold of her that no one could ever breakthrough,

I watched her as she watched them, her eyes glistened in tears, and she tried to make up her mind, she needed to do that,

Amelie wasn't a foolish girl; she was smart, witty, and deep inside, I believe that she knew that in one way or another, she had to leave,

I studied her thoughts, and the night her mother died — she had told Amelie all about this, how one day her father would leave, and how Amelie had to make it on her own,

And for her to do that, she had to leave,

If it wasn't with me, it was with Theodore, but he could never do that — Theodore had too much pressure upon him, he couldn't leave, his family would disown him if he ever executed such a thing,

And that left me because, in her mind, Adrian was a loved one, but not the one to trust — I was, and I had to take advantage of that,

I had to take advantage of her,

''Amelie, look at me,'' My eyes met hers, the fallen deem coated them, '' Remember what I told you, we need to leave,''

Her lashes battled the salty liquid, her chest rose and fell heavily, '' I know,'' She whispered, shutting her eyes closed, '' I know, Draco,''

'' No, Amelie, don't you fucking dare,'' Adrian shouted, his hand clenched around his wand, his fingers shaking, '' I will kill you Malfoy. I will fucking kill you if you take her away,''

'' You're fucking dead,''

I scoffed at the meaningless terms spoken. Adrian was not allowed to kill me; no one was, not yet, not until I did as the dark lord had asked,

I shook my head as I kept my eyes in hers, trying to lead the two boys astray from my actions before I swiftly spun around,

'' Expelli—,''

'' Stupefy,'' I shouted, watching as my spell forced both of the boys into a tree, knocking them out completely,

A gasp trailed her throat, looking at me with shredded eyes before stumbling over to them, kneeling next to Theodore, '' You didn't just do that, Draco,''

'' There was no reason for doing this. I would've gone with you,''

She arched over his unconscious body, holding him close to her chest, '' It's alright, Teddy,'' She whispered, into his head, stroking curls of hair out of his eyes, '' I'll be back, alright?''

'' I promise to be back,''

I couldn't help but feel awful, at least for Theodore, but Adrian had told him, and he knew what I was about to do,

'' Amelie, we need to go, now,''

She still hesitated, clasping onto her best friend, pushing her lips into his hair, '' I'll be back,'' - and then, she gently placed him on the ground again, doubtfully looking at him as she stood tall, sauntering back to me,

Her eyes clocked mine, and without stalling — I snatched her arm, pulling her into me,

'' Apparate,''

_________

 **Amelie** ,

The chilly wind turned frozen as we stood before the Malfoy Manor, in the utter dark, not a light in sight, '' Draco, what are we—,''

'' Be quiet,'' He hushed me down, his hand tensed around my arm as he dragged me up to the entrance, shoving the door open,

'' Mother,'' He yelled, pushing me in front of him,

''I have her,''

My veins iced, my breaths ragged at the words he spoke, '' What are you talking about?''

But he didn't even spare me a look, his jawline sharp as we caught his mothers heels stepping closer, her hair in a gracious bun, the dress lively around her,

'' Amelie, dear,'' Narcissa smiled, holding her arms out to hug me — it felt safe in her grip, feeling her fingers stroking over my hair before she leaned back, redoing the same act for her son,

'' I'm so happy you made it here in one piece,'' His mother bowed her head, black eyes clocked mine, noticing the bewildered coat in them,

'' Amelie, love, are you alright?''

I shook my head, feeling my hair spilling over my shoulders as I peered up at Draco, standing without emotion,

'' I don't—,'' I swallowed, gathering my bravery to ask what I was doing here,

'' Why am I here?''

Draco signed out a loud huff, shoving his hands into his pockets, and the look of him, that little glimpse of guilt in his eyes, was more than enough for me to realize that something was wrong,

More than wrong,

'' Didn't Draco tell you why you're here?'' She questioned me, her brows furrowed, eyes snapping to her son,

'' Draco, why didn't you—,''

'' There was no time, alright?'' The blonde one hissed at his mothers tells before he snatched me by my arm, dragging me past Narcissa,

'' I'll show her to her room,'' He continued, '' And I don't want you in there, mother. You'll stay away from her,''

I didn't have a chance to look at her before his rough grip pulled me over the black tile floor, up the stairs, halting right in front of a large wooden door,

'' Here,'' He mumbled, his hand around the doorknob as he locked it open,

The cold breeze slammed against us from the open window, the grey curtains hanging next to it danced in the slips of wind,

Draco stormed into the room, shutting the window close with a sigh, his hands still placed on the window sill as he dropped his head, slowly wavering,

I seized a shy step inside, closing in on the boy, '' Draco, what is this about, what are you not telling me?''

He cleared his throat, pushing himself off the sill before he shifted around, '' I lied to you,'' His hand dipped beneath his suit jacket, pulling out his wand, '' Do you have your wand with you?''

I quickly nodded, hauling it up from the edge of my skirt, '' Of course—,''

But before I could even hold it properly, '' Expelliarmus,''

My wand was torn from my fingers in the blink of an eye, his hand rose in the air, taking the piece in a swift move,

My brows furrowed, my entire self startled to what he was doing, '' Draco, what is going on?''

I couldn't believe this. He was the one who came to me. He was the one begging to help me, and now?

Now he was the one to take everything away,

The blonde one stared right through me, his neck snapping to the door, ''Colloportus,'' It slammed shut, locking itself as I noticed the inside of it was without a handle,

He was going to lock me inside,

He locked it with magic, and there was no other way out of here,

'' Now, Amelie. Now you will listen to me, and you will do exactly as I say,''

'' _Or_ _else_ —,'' He held, narrowing grey eyes in mine,

'' Or else you'll die,''

_______


	19. E i g h t e e n ,

**Amelie,**

Draco left me here for days. The only time he came to visit was to bring me my meals, or the late nights strolls he took down the hall before he went to bed,

I hated this. It felt worse than being with Adrian during summer break,

That was a chained life, but this...

This was worse,

He didn't even tell me why I was being caught up here, but I heard him through the door last night, talking to a manly voice, telling him that it was time,

That my time had come, but nothing else than that,

The warm, kind boy who urged to help me was gone, and someone evil had taken his place, someone, even viler than the boy I was deemed to marry,

That scared me, to a point where I thought about slitting my wrist, where I thought of ending my life before I could give him the pleasure to do so himself,

I trusted him.

I gave him my mind to search. I gave him the little dust of faith I had left in this life, and he brushed it away as if it was nothing,

He hurt me in ways no one had failed me before, and being sealed in this room without a chance to get out, without permission even to crack a window open,

I was stuck here, waiting for him to do what he craved for,

Although the highlight of my days was to write in the little writing pad, Narcissa pushed underneath the door the other night,

Presumably, when her son was away, because when I knew he was here — she didn't dare to set foot on the upper floor, she held in the kitchen rattling with the dishes or cooking food that scented all the way up to my room,

_______

**Day 4,**

_I heard him again last night._

_I heard him scream and shout in the middle of the night. It woke me up just like the last time._

_I feel like it's nightmares, similar to the ones I have,_

_The kind that wakes you up with a gasp. The kind that makes your chest feel so heavy. The kind that makes you sweat out of fear. The worst kind._

_He locked me in here._

_He lied to me. He broke my trust, and still, all I want to do is help him, just like my mother helped me._

_I want to pull him into my arms, have his head on my chest as I hum into his skin,_

_I think that would help him. I think he would feel better with himself if he let me do that, and I wanted to ask him too. I really did, but he doesn't speak to me._

_I feel like I had done something wrong, like he's mad at me for some reason when all I honestly wanted to do was to get to know him,_

_To help ease his pain in the same way he eased mine,_

_______

'' Amelie,'' Draco knocked on the door, like he always did, making sure that I'm fully dressed and prepared for him to enter, '' I'm coming in,''

I huffed, gently placing my book beside me as he opened the door, his head tilting in to watch me,

'' Good. You're awake,''

I slightly nodded, my back pressed against the headboard of the bed, my knees hugged to my chest, '' I am,''

'' What can I do for you?'' I asked, curious as to why he didn't have a tray with him as he usually did when he visited — my eyes snapped to the clock standing on the nightstand,

It wasn't time for him to be here yet, it was early nightfall, and hours left to when he usually paid me a visit,

He closed the door behind him, taking a sharp step towards the bed, '' I need to speak with you,''

" It's urgent,"

I nodded again. My eyes searched his for a brief moment before he turned around, taking a seat in the armchair placed in the corner of my room,

Draco's head rested in his hands as he bent forward, '' I know this must be confusing for you—,'' He held, raising his head to look at me,

'' And you have my apologies for that. I never wanted this for you,''

I felt a trail of shivers down my spine at his words, a crawling feeling inside as he kept going, '' But months ago. My father was granted a task, and he failed to do what the dark lord wanted him to do, and now—,''

I could hear his voice breaking, his lower lip quivering, '' Now he's... not here anymore. He's with the dark lord, and unless I do what he wants me to do—,"

"My father dies,''

He shook, his head once again buried in his hands as I noticed his bent spine roughly moving up and down,

I knew how hard this was for him. To be the one responsible for his father, when his father was the one to blame for his pain,

I had been there. I was there now, and even if I was more than disappointed at the blonde boy, sitting in the chair, doing everything possible not to cry,

He needed feeling more than he required pain,

With a thick swallow — I rose from my bed, my bare feet scored cold against the floor as I stepped up to him, gently dropping to my knees right in front of him,

He flinched back, his eyes bored through mine as his brows furrowed, '' Amelie, what are you—,''

'' It's alright, Draco,'' I whispered, my hands moving to cup his cheek, thumbs stroked gently over the pale, nearly ashen skin,

His jaws clenched, his breaths ragged, but he let me — he let me comfort him,

'' I know this is hard for you, and I understand that you don't want to be the one to do this, Draco. But I want you to know that I'm here for you,''

I felt a shy smile curve the corner off my lips, '' I'm always here for you,''

The last line made his eyes pool. He sought to swallow the lump growing in his throat, '' Amelie, I—,''

The shaking breath quickly shifted into a sob, pulling his head away to hide it in his palms,

" This is all my fault,"

'' I always do this—,''

'' I always _fucking_ do this—,''

'' Everything is always my fucking fault, Amelie—,''

'' You don't understand. You don't know the things I had to do,''

'' You don't know what I am—,''

'' What I've done—,''

He cried. His entire body shook as I forced myself off the ground, and without thinking — I slipped down in his lap, in the same way, he held me the night I was in shock,

I wrapped my arms around his head, pulling myself into him, ''It's alright, Draco—,'' I tried to calm him, feeling how his arms moved around me, embracing the one source of comfort he could find,

'' You're safe here, Draco,''

My mouth against his hair, stroking the blonde strands of it down his neck as he buried his head in my shoulder,

'' No one can hurt you when I'm here,''

I repeated the words over and over until he managed to hush down, to calm himself from his own mind,

He became quiet, nearly too quiet,

The silence shrugged us as I kept holding him, tightly and for a few more seconds, he held me, just as tight,

His hands clenched around my back, his warm breaths fanning my neck as he slightly bent back, locking his eyes in mine,

'' You shouldn't trust me, Amelie,'' He whispered, so low that I could barely hear him, almost as if he didn't want me to listen to him, '' I'm not good for you—,''

'' For anyone,''

My heart ached at his words, my eyes prickled in tears of how broken he sounded, how much torture he must be feeling,

I wanted to ask him what he had done, which was so terrible and unlawful that he couldn't even speak about it, but at the same time — I didn't want to push him.

I knew from my own experiences how hard and intruding it was, having someone force something out of you when all you wanted was to be left alone,

To be in your own mind, treating your own thoughts in the way you wished to,

'' I have done _things_ ,'' He uttered again, his shoulders tensing underneath my arms, '' I have killed people, Amelie—,''

I cringed, my body jolted at the electricity shooting throughout out my veins at his confession — and that made him coil back, his hands settled around my waist to tend me back, his eyes glinted in disbelief,

'' Are you afraid of me?'' Draco asked. The darkened skin around his eyes was swollen red, his cheeks stained by the dry tears,

I choked on my words, my face fell into a startled look, and before I could even suck in a breath — he breathed out one, lightly shaking his head at me,

'' _Get_ _off_ ,''

My brows furrowed, my hands slipped off his neck, '' Draco—,''

'' I said, get the **fuck** off me, right now,''

I nearly fell off his lap, stumbling back as he stood tall, not even looking at me before he brushed his suit off, and stormed out, slamming the door completely closed behind him,

Once again, leaving me confused behind,

________

**Day 5,**

_He let me hold him yesterday, even if it only was for a short moment._

_It felt good, doing something good for someone and not just sitting here doing nothing._

_Even if he got mad at me again. It was worth it because somewhere deep down under all that hate and pain I recognize,_

_The kind, gentle boy still lives, and I hope to see him again,_

_He didn't even come to give me my meals today. He stayed clear of me and let the house-elves take care of that,_

_I talked to this little house-elf, he was similar to the elf_ _that lived with us at home,_ _and the kind manners of him reminded me of my best friend,_

_Teddy._

_I miss Theodore._

_I miss my Teddy so much that I might break. I had never been apart from him more than a day or two before, but this._

_This was torture._

_Missing him was worse than being locked in here._

_All I want to do is to bury my head in his warm chest and feel his arms around me._

_I want him to tell me what to do because I don't know anything anymore._

_I am supposed to be in school. I am supposed to be with Adrian and sneaking around with Teddy. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't want to me be here._

________

'' I'm not doing that to her, do you understand that Draco,''

'' No, I don't understand. Why do _I_ have to do this, mother? Why do I always have to be the one to do all of this—,''

'' Draco, this isn't under discussion. We need your father home and if this is the way to bring him here—,''

'' I'm not doing this to her. I'm not.''

'' Yes, you are, Draco. Just be honest with her. Tell her what you need to look for and what you need to know, and I'm sure that she'll help you,''

'' It's her bloody mind, mother. It's her fucking mind, and I can't do that to her. You don't know what she's been through,''

'' I know, dear. But this is the only thing the dark lord will take in order to release your father. We don't have a choice,''

'' Believe me, mother. I'm far familiar with me never having a fucking choice,''

'' So you'll do it then, Draco?''

'' I'll do it,''

I crawled back in the bed, my heart pounding out of my chest after hearing Draco and his mother argue about me, and this time,

This time I heard everything,

'' Amelie,'' He knocked, '' I'm coming in,''

I tucked my writing pad underneath my mattress, hiding it so he wouldn't take it away before I pushed myself up in the bed, sitting straight not to look too suspicious,

'' Come in,'' I answered as he opened the door, sticking his head in,

His black suit wrapped utterly around his toned body, his hair sleek — the expression on his face was filled with emotion, even if he sought to hide it,

'' It's time,''

_______


	20. N i n e t e e n ,

**Amelie,**

I walked after him, watching as he nervously fiddled with the rings on his fingers, '' This way,'' He mumbled, his hand gesturing for me to step into an empty room, nothing but a chair standing in the middle of it,

I nodded, doing as he wished, not wanting to set his temper off like I did last night,

'' Here?'' I asked, striding towards the chair. My socks felt cold against the floor as he hummed,

'' Yes, take a seat,''

I slipped down in the chair, my hands placed in my lap as I watched him, how anxious he seemed to march back to the doorway, his hand clenching around ledge around it,

'' And all I have to do is ask her for it?'' Draco tried to hush himself down, talking to someone outside, '' But what if she doesn't want to give it up?''

His voice shredded so low, not for me to hear,

'' Then you have to take it from her, without her content. She came here willingly,''

His shoulder shrugged, nearly as if shivers fled his spine, '' I'll try,''

Draco closed the door, his palms halted at the wood, leaning into it as he shook his head, '' I don't want to do this, Amelie,''

I swallowed, pushing myself off the chair, striding closer to the boy who looked like he would break, '' Do what, Draco?''

'' I need something from you,''

He turned around, his hands shoved into his pockets, '' And I can't—,''

His eyes shut, his breaths were ragged as I walked closer, stopping only inches away.

He looked drained, completely empty, not one emotion on his face, his heavy pants echoed throughout the shallow room,

'' Yes, you can,'' I forced a smile, my hand seeking to touch his, '' Tell me what you want from me,''

The grey eyes flayed open, the tiny muscle in his jaw twitched, '' I need a memory,'' He muttered, gazing down at my hand, placed on his arm,

'' Do you remember the night in the library? When you were close to giving something up?''

'' I do,''

And I did. But what that memory was, I didn't know, my mind shut me out the instant I sought to reveal them, and that's what he needed. He wanted that hidden, buried memory,

Even if it hurt me, even if my head nearly shredded at the thought of it,

Draco cleared his throat, shaking his head as he gestured for me to sit down again, '' Do you remember your safe word?''

'' Blue,''

He pulled the edge of his suit jacket open, hauling out his wand before taking demanding shoes up to me, his hands placed on the armrests, towering over my trembling self,

I watched at the regret flashed his eyes, the heavy lingering in his breaths, '' Can you tell me what it is?'' I spoke up,

'' The memory — I mean,''

His brows furrowed, his jaws clenched, '' No. You need to give it to me on your own,''

My bottom lip sucked in between my teeth as the hesitancy nagged within.

I didn't want to do this because last time — it hurt. I was a wreck after he searched my mind to reach that one string of light, that little memory,

'' Legilimens,''

______

**Day 9.**

_Draco has been searching my mind for days, and to be honest with myself,_

_I don't know for how long I will be able to stand this._

_Every time the light of his mind reaches mine, it's like I can't breathe._

_I am allowed a piece of Draco that I'm not even certain he knows I_ _'m_ _able to see._

_He_ _'s_ _hurting. His mind is more tortured than mine has ever been. I could see that._

_I could see how he hated himself, and not just parts of himself as a normal person would do._

_He loathed everything, every single thing of himself, and that broke me._

_It broke me more than he did, more than my father or Adrian ever did._

_I feel for Draco, in a way I can't begin to understand._

_Perhaps it's the way his mind works, how cruel and evil he makes himself look, but how kind and broken he truly is._

_I don't know what, but something about that blonde boy made me feel warm, cared for, even if he did everything possible for me to hate him,_

_After he gave me that necklace in the bathroom, I did._

_I did hate him, or at least I tried to._

_But somewhere along the line, I couldn't keep it up because I knew he needed me almost as much as I seemed to need him._

______

'' Come in,'' I shouted at the knocking on my door, watching as he stepped inside with the tray in his hands,

Draco's eyes immediately locked in mine, taking long strides up to the bed, placing my dinner on the nightstand,

'' Thank you,'' I mumbled, tearing my sight away from his,

'' Do you need something else?'' He asked, his hand rushed through his hair, scratching his neck after,

'' I mean — can I do something for you?''

He looked down, miserable as I patted the edge of my bed, gesturing for him to take a seat, '' Will you stay here, just for a moment?''

Draco's jaws clenched, his eyes snapped to where I had held my hand before grumbling something beneath his breath.

He slipped down, his legs held long before him as he peered over to me, confused as to why had asked him to stay, '' Did you want to talk about something or?''

'' No—,'' I hushed myself down, chewing my bottom lip in hesitation, '' It's just boring being alone all the time,''

He huffed, his fingers curled into fists at my words — I could see that my statement made him tense, how the regret showed in his eyes,

'' You have a library here, right?'' I asked, forcing a smile to make him feel better about what I just told him,

Draco nodded, blonde strands of hair fell over his eyes, '' We do,''

'' Can you take me there? I have already finished all the books —,'' My eyes flickered to the bookshelf standing tall against the wall, '' In here,''

He swallowed as his mind battled if my proposition was a good idea or not before he forced himself off the mattress, '' I can,'' He held, narrowing grey eyes in mine,

'' But can I trust you, Amelie?''

'' Can I trust that you won't try to leave?''

I felt the lump growing in my throat, my veins flushed in disbelief, '' I'm still here, right?'' I quieted down, looking up at him, '' If I wanted to leave you — I would've done so weeks ago at Adrian's ceremony,''

My hands pushed against the silky material of the sheets, holding in front of him, '' I think the question is, can I trust you, Draco?''

He sucked in a harsh breath, eyes snapped down to the tray on my nightstand before he held his arm out, needing me to take it, '' No, you can't,''

I winced back, my face twisted in doubt as he stretched his arm further, urging for me to braid mine with his, '' But you will, soon,''

_______

Draco pushed the massive doors open, and the second they swung wide — the room lit up in warm light, the vast bookshelves covered every inch of wall in the room,

'' God,'' I whispered, taking strides past him, '' It's bigger than I remember,''

I shifted around, looking at him as a glint of light tore through the numb eyes. He looked happy by the swift gaze of my smile,

I stepped further into the room, hearing as he shoed closer behind me, '' What's your favorite book?''

Draco cleared his throat, nearly startled by my question, '' I don't have one,''

'' You don't?'' I snapped, my eyes wide at the confession, '' No, you're lying,''

'' I'm not lyi—,''

'' Yes, you are, everyone has a favorite book,'' I smirked, dragging my fingers over the dusty novels,

'' But it's okay, you can tell me when you're ready,''

He scoffed, shaking his head as he slipped down onto the couch placed in the middle of the shelves.

My eyes searched wild over the novels, looking for the one I knew Theodore loved, the one book he always used to read to me,

 **Throwback** ,

_My eyes snapped to his, watching him as he rested in my lap — the early autumn breeze tugged in a mixture of hot and cold as we laid there, out in the sun, with all our problems set aside, '' Theodore, what are you reading?'' I asked him, his body slightly flinched at the gentle tone,_

_He shrugged, turning the page of his book, '' Nothing special,'' He huffed, annoyingly, '' I will take a wild chance and guess that you already read it — you're still in Ravenclaw after all,'' I felt my eyes rolling at his words, my back heavy against the tree I leaned against,_

_'' Well, Mr know-it-all, it's a little difficult to know what I may or may not have read if you won't show me,'' I mumbled, my fingers stroking a few strands of hair off his forehead. The soft-touch made him turn his head to face me, gazing up at me from below,_

_His eyes shun heavenly in the string of light, his nearly tanned skin flushed, '' I will read you one line, and one line only, and we'll see if you know which book I'm reading,'' He smirked, knowing that this nagged my temper, '' Ready?''_

_I yet rolled my eyes away from his, looking over the black lake as he sucked in a breath, '' What greater punishment is there than —, ''_

_'' — life, when you've lost everything that made it worth living?'' I hewed him off, finishing his sentence as he jolted up from my lap, sitting up next to me, '' Are you serious, Teddy?'' I laughed, snatching the book from his hand, '' Romeo and Juliet?''_

_Theodore's face twisted in a grimace as he snatched the book back, holding it close to his chest, '' What's wrong with reading Romeo and Juliet?'' He snarled, bushy eyebrows furrowed as the smirk on my lips grew,_

_'' There's nothing wrong with it, silly,'' I smiled, tilting my head to rest on my shoulder, feeling the wind as it swirled through my hair, '' It was the obvious choice for you — that's all,'' The boy's mouth dropped at my words, his eyes broad in shock,_

_He released a loud sigh at my talks, shaking his head, making his thick hair fleeing his temples before flopping down to my lap again, " Is that so wrong?" He mumbled, raising his book to read, " I mean, is it so wrong to wish for someone that cares about you so much that they would rather die than be without you?"_

______

It wasn't.

It was nothing wrong to wish for someone that cares about you in that way because that's how I felt for him,

I loved Teddy so much that living these days without him was torture, and I needed to find that book, Romeo and Juliet, to feel closer to him,

'' Here,'' I gasped for myself, tugging the spine of it off the wood, my hands brushed over the cover only to smile at myself by the look of it,

This book seemed new as if no one had ever read it before, while Teddy's was worn, the pages nearly falling out of it,

'' Did you find what you were looking for?'' Draco muttered as I shot him a stare, studying him as his elbow placed on the armrest, his chin rested in the palm of his hand,

'' I did,'' I dropped down next to him, the book glued in my hand, '' Can I read you something?''

Draco looked shocked, almost agonized as he slightly nodded, '' Certainly,''

I doubted myself at first, not knowing if I had the bravery to do what I wanted to do, to let my head fall into his lap, just like Theodore always rested his head in mine,

I shut my eyes closed, my breath hitched as a grimace shredded my features, my head felt heavy on his thighs, feeling how his entire body tensed at my doings,

My knees dragged up to the backrest of the furniture as I shifted around, looking up at him from below,

'' Is this alright?'' I hushed, making his brows furrowed, his hands nervously fiddling with his rings,

'' Hm,'' He hummed, biting his own tongue from ruining this moment,

I sucked a harsh breath in, raising the book over me as I searched for the page I needed,

'' Here—,'' I called out, '' Okay, are you ready?''

'' What greater punishment is there than life when you've lost everything that made it worth living?''

Draco froze completely as I peered up at him, his teeth clasped, his nostrils flaring,

'' Have you ever felt that way for anyone, Draco?'' I asked, lowering the book to rest on my chest,

'' No,'' He spoke, severely, '' I don't get those type of feelings,''

I jolted up from my laying position, my legs over his as he cringed at the sudden move, '' Have you never been in love?''

My face sunk in question, my nerves ached at the look of his numb eyes — he hadn't.

He had never been in love. He had never cared for another person in the way you always dreamed of doing — he was alone, lonely in his misery,

'' No,''

My head tilted as I sought to read the cold, mysterious boy in front of me, '' Have you ever cared for anyone?''

'' No,''

'' Do you want to care for someone?''

My pushing made him snap his head to level mine, his heart pounding hard within, '' No,''

I felt the twisting feeling inside, the sinking sensation waver me as his lips parted again — but not a word fled them,

The tension thickened as he leaned closer, his cold hand put pressure on my lower back, almost urging me to move forward, and I did,

I pushed myself onto him, straddling him on the sofa,

'' But I do,'' Draco breathed out, his nose brushed against mine, making my breaths flutter, my heart hammering,

'' I do care for someone,''

I felt the corner of my mouth twitch, my hands moved up over his arms, holding him gently around his neck, fingers playfully tangled into the blonde strands of hair, '' You do?''

'' I do,'' He mumbled, his arms tensed around me, pulling me an inch closer,

And without another thought,

I let my lips collide with his,

_______


	21. T w e n t y ,

**Signs of self-harm. Please read with caution.**

**___________**

**Amelie,**

He kissed me back, his hands wrapped around my waist in the most protective, heartwarming way possible,

'' Amelie—,'' He mumbled into my parted lips, slightly tending back, '' Are you alright?''

My eyes peeled open, looking at the blonde boy holding me — he looked so at peace, so gentle as if this was all he had wanted to do,

My fingers brushed against the blonde hair in the back of his neck. It was soft, softer than I could remember, not everywhere, not like the strands falling over his forehead, but right there, in the back of his neck — it was smoother,

'' Yes,''

But even if I allowed that word to fall my lips, giving him my blessing that I am more than sufficient with what happened, his face shifted in doubt, his eyes flickered all over my features, alike to if he was scared, worried,

My heart fluttered because he cared — he told me he cared for me, and I cared for him, in a heartbreaking way, in a way that lingered with pain, hurt, memories that held nothing more than torture,

But this, right here — seemed to be more, greater than any stain of the past could ever be,

As mother always whispered at night,

Your future needs you. Your past doesn't,

My eyes fell dearly over him as I leaned in once more, pushing my lips against his, kissing him just as soft as he kissed me, and for a brief moment, it was just us — him and me, and not a problem soared in the world,

Draco's hands tensed around my body as he moved them further down my lower back, gripping around my waist to pull me closer, and the second he did, the instant I felt the cold air tickle at my swollen lips as I sought to catch my breath,

Reality hit me,

Adrian,

My palms pushed into his chest, stumbling off him before I rushed out — running back to my room, closing the door behind me, ignoring every shout for me fleeing his throat,

I couldn't do this. I was getting married to a boy I loved more than anything, and here I am, unfaithful to him, kissing someone else,

Even if Adrian had been faithless towards me — this wasn't me. I can't do that. He doesn't deserve that, and nevertheless,

I didn't deserve to feel this way about myself,

I felt my spine collide with the door, sliding down against it as I buried my head in my palms,

'' Amelie—,'' Draco's voice made me flinch from behind the wood, '' Amelie, why did you—,''

I jolted back up, standing breathless as tears fell down my drained skin,

'' Don't come in, please,'' I begged him, '' I just—,''

'' Was it something I did, Amelie?'' I caught a light pound on the door as his fist struck against it, '' Did I hurt you?''

'' Did I _fucking_ hurt you?''

My entire self trembled, my hands shook, my lower lips quivered, '' Please, Draco, just go, please,''

Silence,

He didn't speak another word for minutes as I stood entirely frozen. The air in my lungs tightened as the need to ease my own pain clocked heavily within,

'' It's always my fault,'' He sighed, the low vocals ripped in hurt, '' That's what I tried to tell you. It's always my fucking fault,'' - with a loud thud, his steps severely shredded down the hall again,

He left,

He left because I hurt him.

He believes this is his fault, that I ran out on him because he hurt me,

When this always was about me, when I am the one to blame for everything — I was too insecure, too worn to realize my own worth in the way of life,

Draco hurt me, he took me away from Theodore, from Adrian, and he locked me in here, without even a proper explanation as to why,

To why I wasn't in his eyes — worthy of being treated better, unless...

The vow.

He has to know about the vow.

I felt the clearing of my dizzy mind hit me, similar to a train at high speed, and the second I did,

The urge of feeling pain slammed right through me, the remembrance of how good it felt to score the edge of something sharp against my skin,

I looked through the bathroom cabinet, every shelf, every holder, every case until I watched one little nail scissors in the bottom of a basket, nearly as if was waiting for me,

The metallic felt cold in between my fingers, one of my feet placed on the toilet, hitching my skirt up, and in a heartbeat, my eyes rolled to the back of my head,

_______

**Day 12,**

_I did it again yesterday, and again and again._

_Draco hasn't been here for days, just like the last time he got mad at me, but I believe he left home altogether this time. I couldn't hear his screams in the early morning or his steps hovering outside at dusk,_

_He simply left, and I was all to blame._

_Narcissa kindly took after his act to bring me meals and new books to read, she even asked me if I wanted to join her for dinner downstairs last night, and I did._

_I believe that she's lonely, that the absence of her husband and the continuance of Draco needing to serve the dark lord leaves her behind, nearly forgotten,_

_I enjoy her very much. She has always been so kind to me, even before all of this happened before Draco brought me here._

_She told me more about him. She filled in some of the blank spots of knowing when it comes to him, her blonde-haired son._

_But even if she tried to open up as much as she knew how it wasn't enough._

_I know it will never be enough, and I know that I may never know him in the way I wish to do, but for now, it has to do._

_If anything, I know how hard it is to let someone in, to let someone have a piece of you, to allow another soul to search yours, and I let him,_

_I did._

_And now, I just hope that he will let me in as I let him in._

_______

My body jolted off the mattress as I searched to turn the lamp on my nightstand on — I usually sleep with the light on, but not the past few nights. I have gotten used to the darkness, to the feeling of smoothness it brought,

I heard them again, his screams, how the tore in his shouting broke, how he sought to muffle the sound with his pillows,

He was home.

The panic flushed through my veins, the constant ache of knowing that I can help him if he just let me,

My feet stumbled across the floor as I kneeled down, my fingers scratched underneath the bottom of the door, gripping the wood as I put my other hand up, placing pressure on the timber just at the right time,

I knew that Narcissa never locked it with magic, and with a few tries at the nights Draco was nowhere to be found — I learned how to open it without a handle,

The door clicked open, a slight squeaking sound erupted the torture in his screams for a second or two before I heard the sobs,

The harsh, painful voice broke into a trail of cries as I rushed towards his door, gently putting my palms against it to shove it open,

And there he was, in the middle of the night, sitting up against the headboard of his bed, his head placed in his hands, his body nearly shaking,

I didn't speak a word. I don't even think he's aware that I'm in here, but I can't care because he needed me, and I needed to comfort him,

Draco's head rose as I climbed up on his bed; the grey eyes were hooded, his skin ashen and glinted in stains of tears,

His eyes watched as I struggled closer,

'' Amelie,'' He breathed out as I let myself on him, one knee on each side of the boy, straddling his lap,

I let my hands wrap around his head, pulling him straight into my chest, feeling his nose brush against the silky material of my nightdress,

'' I'm here, Draco—,'' I whispered into the blonde strands of hair, sensing how he wanted to hold me closer, how he tried to drain me off all the comfort he knew I could give him,

But he was scared, terrified of hurting me as he believed he did last time he touched me this way,

And I was too. I was horrified to even hold him as simple as this, but I needed to,

He needed me to,

I let my hands off him, reaching for his as I wrapped them behind my back, allowing him to hug me, '' It's alright, Draco,'' I hummed into his skin before holding him again,

'' You're safe when I'm here,''

His head fell to the crook of my neck, his heart pounded roughly within, '' I—,'' He chocked out,

'' I'm sorry,''

I felt my cheek brushed against the soft hair, my chest heavy against his exposed one, and my heart ached, my bones caved for his misery,

'' What did you dream about?'' I asked him, quietly, slightly leaning back,

Draco's head tilted away, his hands placed on my hips as he watched me in the strokes of moonlight,

He hesitated for moments as if he was thinking about all the things he wished to speak but didn't have the bravery for,

''Do you know what I dreamed of?'' I forced a smile, my fingertips moving to brush a shade of hair off his forehead,

His head shook, his lips pushed into a firm line,

'' I dreamed about a boy,''

The grey eyes grew wide at my confession, his breaths ragged,

'' That was kissing this boy, and right in the middle of it I ran away because I couldn't think clearly—,''

I swallowed,

'' And the boy, he ran after me and wanted to make sure that I was alright, and when he did. I pushed him away—,''

My eyes blinked quickly,

'' Because it's hard for me, letting people in, letting myself enjoy something and the thought of... _Adrian_ made me sick—,''

His hands tensed as he caught me speak the name he loathed more than anything,

'' It made me nauseous. I'm not a bad person, Draco—,''

His head arched more, his chest lightly rose and fell,

'' I'm not, but I'm a fragile one, and doing something new with someone I have grown to care for. It's scary, almost terrifying—,''

I pushed myself an inch closer, feeling the silky covers brush against my knees,

'' And this boy I told you about, he left shortly after that because I was too stupid to explain why I ran out on him, and I believe that he blamed himself—,''

'' Don't ever say that—,'' He snapped, his fingers squeezed into my skin, '' Don't ever call yourself stupid,''

The flash of sudden anger flickered in his eyes, '' I never want to hear you say that again,''

I instantly nodded, feeling the warmth flush inside, '' I won't,''

His heated breaths panted onto my lips, feeling the sweet, minty taste of it, '' Good,'' He sighed,

'' But this boy...'' He smirked, '' May I ask why you are pushing him away if you don't want to?''

I felt the corner of my mouth twitch, a smile forming on my lips by the soft look of him, how gentle he was,

'' I don't know. Isn't it always like this?'' I held, my fingertips brushing over the pale skin of his chest, softly stroking over the scars,

'' That our hearts run from the people who give us puls?''

The tiny muscle in his jaw twitched, the grey eyes flickered down to my lips, before gently connecting them,

He kissed me again, kindy, emotionally,

The cold hands wrapped around me as he shifted around, making my spine collide with the downy mattress,

'' Don't run away again,'' Draco spoke into my parted lips, '' Promise me you'll never run away from me again,''

He pulled back, his sight studying mine before I dragged him back down, allowing him to kiss me once again; his freezing touch caressed my cheek as he lowered himself onto me,

'' I promise, Draco,''

A shy smile rose upon him as he leaned back down, pressing his lips against mine, parting them to let his tongue battle mine,

'' I want to do things to you, Amelie,'' He whispered into my mouth,

My hands fell gently over his back, feeling the pale skin soft on mine — his hand fled down my body, halting at my inner thigh,

_'' No—,''_

_'' You can't be here!''_

The shouting from downstairs made us both jump apart. My breaths hitched as his eyes snapped to the door,

_'' She's not here!''_

_'' It's the middle of the night! You can't be here,''_

Draco forced himself off the mattress, his hand clenched around his wand, '' Wait here,'' He mumbled, storming off towards the door,

'' Draco, _wait_ ,'' I called out for him, pushing myself off the bed, taking strides against him — a startled look on my face as he turned around,

'' Please don't leave,''

Draco watched as the shocked look upon me came into a terrified one, my hands grasped at his arm, tugging myself into him,

The furious gaze he held softened at the look of mine, a cold hand cupped my cheek as he hauled my face closer to his, towering me,

'' I will never let anything bad happen to you. You need to trust me—,''

_'' Where the fuck is she?''_

_'' She's not here, now leave or I will_ —,''

The sound of glass shattering as it fell to the floor made my whole body wince, but he didn't let go of me. He held me closer, tighter,

'' I will kill anyone who tries to take you away from me. I promise you that, now go back to bed,'' Draco's shoved me to the side, his exposed muscles flexed by the heavy breathing,

'' I'll be right back,''

My feet scored cold against the floor, staring at his spine now facing me, he gave me one last look,

The anger in his grey eyes darkened as the door flung open, making him step back,

_'' There you are,''_

_______


	22. T w e n t y - o n e ,

**This chapter contains scenes of violent actions. Please read with caution.**

**________**

_'' There you are,''_

My breaths hitched in the back of my throat as I watched him in the doorway. Adrian rose a brow before his eyes snapped to Draco, standing with nothing but his night pants on, his wand clenched in his fist,

'' What the fuck—,'' Adrian shouted, his wand raised against Draco, '' Why—,''

I felt myself swallow, my eyes wide as I stared breathlessly at the boy in front of me.

He was here,

'' Adrian,'' I chocked out, looking at him as my heart shattered.

I couldn't resist it. I couldn't resist him. I needed to hold him after nearly two weeks apart,

I caught a step forward, but the soon I sought to take another one, Draco snatched me by the arm, dragging me back as he stepped in front of me,

'' Not so close, Pucey,'' Draco spat, '' Now leave,''

A cruel smirk curled onto Adrian's upper lip. Eyes narrowed in grey ones, '' I'm not leaving without her,''

Draco strode forward in the darkened room, his want pushed up against Adrian's throat, his other hand grabbed him by the collar of his shirt,

'' I said, _leave_ ,''

This had to be what he talked about, Draco,

This had to be what he meant when he said that he had a dark side, a side with no remorse, a side of him that's able to take the life of another,

'' Don't forget that we share the same position, on the same side,'' Adrian grinned, seemingly fearless by the blonde one, his eyes snapped over Draco's shoulder, looking straight at me as I stood terrified behind him,

'' But by the look of it, we _share_ more than that—,''

'' Crucio,'' Draco shouted, without hesitation, making the green light of torture score Adrian to the floor,

His body trembled, trails of screams left his throat at the curse, and by the look of this — Adrian battling one of the cruelest of spells, made my heart tear in two,

Tears pooled as I threw myself closer, but once again, Draco stopped me, his hands gripped around my arms, '' Don't you dare feel sorry for him,'' He spoke, harshly,

'' He has done so much worse to you,''

My breaths hitched as the salty liquid streamed down my cheeks, my eyes twitching together every time a scream of torture came from Adrian,

'' Please, Draco,'' I begged, feeling my knees shaking,

'' Please. I promised to stay with you, and I will. I promise I will, but you need to stop this,''

'' Oh dear,'' Narcissa gasped from behind us, making me look at her, but Draco didn't,

His eyes stayed locked in mine; a cold look rose upon him,

'' My son, listen to the girl. I know you—,''

'' No,'' Draco snarled, teeth gritted as he turned to face his mother, '' If I didn't do what I did, he would have—,''

'' I know, son,'' Narcissa stared startled at the both of us, her hand stretched in the air, '' Let me at least take her out of here. There is no need for her to see this,''

Draco tilted his head back to mine as a flash of guilt tore through the numb eyes before he shut them close, slightly shaking his head,

'' Of course,'' He spoke, cruelly, '' Take her downstairs. I'll be down in a minute,''

Draco breathed in heavily before letting his hands off my arms, but something didn't seem right.

Why would Narcissa take so long to come in here?

My head swirled in question as my insides shredded by another scream fleeing Adrian's struggling body on the ground,

I peered back up the blonde boy in front of me, meeting the grey eyes that consumed me, '' I promised not to leave,'' I stuttered, my voice airy,

His jaws clenched, his stare pierced right through me, '' Then don't leave, just go downstairs, and I will be straight down,''

He looked so brave, so strong, and without even thinking about Adrian, lying helpless on the floor — My palms pushed into his exposed chest, standing on my toes as I pressed my lips against his,

And once again, he kissed me back,

Both of his hands on my cheeks, gently stroking the stains of tears away as he kept kissing me,

'' I will always keep you safe, now go,'' He leaned back, lightly nodding his head, '' It's alright, Amelie,''

The blonde strands of hair fell messy over his head as he shifted around, aiming his wand at Adrian again,

I walked down the stairs, feeling how Narcissa's arms tensed around me, '' I have someone that I know is happy to—,''

'' _Amelie_ —,''

I froze, entirely at the last step of stairs,

My eyes prickled in tears, my heart pounded out of my chest, '' Theodore?''

He ran towards me as Narcissa backed away, smiling proudly at him as he wrapped his arms around me, picking me up,

Theodore held me closer than he ever had, hugging me as he spun us around, '' Amelie,'' He whispered into my hair, '' I missed you,''

I felt the tears falling, my entire persona weakened at the feeling of him holding me, of him being here, and everything I sought to think, every destructive mind-set, every cruel thought faded by the scent of him,

'' I missed you more,'' I sobbed into his head as he let me down, '' I missed you so much more,''

Theo's hand cupped my cheek, pulling me into his chest — warmth welled up inside as I breathed him in, honey,

He always scented similar to honey,

Until his body tensed, the warm touch shifted cold, the hand on my cheek tugged of, '' We need to go,'' He lowered, nervously peering over my shoulder to face Narcissa,

'' We need to leave, right now,''

My face twisted in grimace, my eyes shut as I sought to think, '' No,''

'' No?''

I sucked in a harsh breath, peeling my eyes open to match his, '' I can't leave. I can't leave without Draco. I promised him,''

'' You promised him _what_ , Amelie?'' Theodore snapped, taking a shoe back, '' Why would you let him manipulate you like this? What did you promise him?''

The disbelief flushed through my veins at his words, '' I promised not to leave him,''

A scoff fell off his lips as he looked away, his hand rushed through the thick curls on his head, '' This is unbelievable,'' He mumbled, taking a stride closer,

'' He kidnaped you. He locked you in here for weeks, and you go and fall in love with him?'' Theodore's hands clasped around my shoulders, nearly shaking me,

'' How could you do that?''

Narcissa's heel over the tile floor caught my attention as she placed a hand upon Theo's, '' There is no need to get upset, Theodore. Listen to what she has to say before you accuse her,''

I could hear him swallow, the tiny muscle in his jaw twitched, '' Then what could this possibly be about if you didn't fall in love with him?''

The bravery I kept inside missed me as my lips parted to speak, '' I'm—,"

" I'm not in love with him,''

Theodore rose a brow, eyes narrowed in mine, before his act dropped, his eyes shredded in doubt, '' You are,''

'' How could you—,''

'' I said that I'm _not_ ,'' I shouted, my foot stamped against the floor, '' Listen to me, Teddy. I am not in love with Draco. I used him so that he wouldn't hurt me,'' I lied,

I had to lie,

I needed to,

The reality of me feeling more for Draco than I was ever allowed to was dangerous for both him and myself,

'' I promise. I only used him. I—,''

'' Is that so?'' Draco's voice scored low from behind, '' You just used me?''

No,

No,

No,

My eyes fluttered close as Theodore stepped back, hearing how Narcissa urged for him to join her in the kitchen,

I refused to open my eyes. I felt ashamed for the words I spoke,

'' Look at me,'' Draco mumbled from in front of me, and I did as asked. My eyes peeled open to look at him, dressed in his suit,

'' You used me?'' He questioned me again, jaws clenched, lips pushed into a firm line,

" You fucking used me?"

I shook my head, taking a step closer to him as he caught one back, '' No. I didn't use you, Draco,''

My hands grasped at my hair as I tugged it back, feeling more than defeated. My mind battled my heart in a hopeless fight,

'' I didn't use you. I only said those things to Theodore because I know he'll—,''

'' He'll what? He'll despise you for feeling something for someone like me? Or is it _you_ , Amelie?''

'' Is it you that is ashamed for feeling something for me?''

'' No!'' I nearly yelled out, making his eyebrows furrow, '' Don't say that. Don't ever say that, Draco,''

I took another step closer, but this time, he didn't take one back. He let me close to him, causing my face to soften at the confused look on his,

'' I would never do that. I would never use you. You looked inside my mind, Draco,'' My hand stretched to stroke a shade of blonde hair off his forehead,

'' You know what I think of you,'' I whispered, feeling his hands moving around my waist, pulling me closer,

'' I do,'' He muttered, his head dipped down to mine, connecting our lips — kissing me in the way only he did, in that breathtaking, gentle way,

_______

 **Draco** ,

My hands fitted perfectly around her as I held her close, feeling that sweet, warm taste of her lips against mine,

It was addicting to kiss her.

It was as if I couldn't get enough.

She had me trapped, hooked in the grip of emotion that I had no control over.

Her pain, her tortured mind was mesmerizing, and all I wished to be is better,

Better for her,

It was something about her eyes, how they held what mine thirsted for,

Amelie was pure, chained, angelic, and the urge of taking that purity away from her yet keep her exactly as sinless became overwhelming,

How she stood in front of me, stretched up on her toes with her hands gently pushed against my chest. She wasn't afraid of me anymore. She didn't flinch when I sought to touch her; when I came close,

'' What the—,'' Theodore's voice echoed from behind, making our kiss break apart to look at him, '' Amelie, you just said...''

Her feet stumbled away from me, the loving look she held shifted into a startled, guilty one, '' Theodore—,''

My eyes snapped to the brown-haired boy I know she held so dearly as he shook his head. The green eyes flashed in anger, and without another word,

He stormed off to the front door, swinging it open to leave,

'' No, Theodore, please don't go,'' Amelie called out for him, '' We would never leave each other, remember?"

'' Well, it looks to me as if you gave that promise to someone else,'' He quieted down, standing frozen in the doorway,

'' It's not like that. I have to—,'' She sought to speak, but his arm thrown out in the air hushed her,

'' Choose,''

I felt myself swallow at his words, jaws clenched,

Her arms dropped to her sides, her eyes glinted in tears as I looked at her, '' What?'' She whimpered,

'' I said choose. Him or me, Amelie,'' He repeated himself, '' You can't have both,''

'' No.''

'' No.''

''No. I won't. You can't do this. You didn't even listen—,''

'' That's because he filled you with lies, Amelie!'' Theodore turned around, pointing a finger directly at me, '' You let him inside of your mind. He could easily plant thoughts or even—,''

'' Or even _what_?'' I snapped, eyeing the boy down, '' Do you truly believe that I would do that?''

'' You took her away from us, Malfoy. There is a lot of things you have done that I could never imagine that you would do a year ago,''

Amelie stepped in between us, her face twisted in disbelief at what she needed and what she wanted, '' Stop it,''

'' I'm not choosing it's as simple as that. I shouldn't have to,''

She shouldn't.

I knew she shouldn't, and even if I would give anything up, take any life to be the one she chose,

I could never be that person, not right now.

She didn't deserve this, any of it, and it would never be safe for her here, not until Adrian was gone,

My head fell forward, my eyes shut as I took a deep breath, already regretting what I was about to do,

The tumbling voices of my mother, Theodore, and her tore through my ears as I leaned my head back, looking at the breathtaking girl standing in front of me, in her nightdress, her hair spilled messily over her shoulders, the pink cuts inside of her upper arm sored, and even then,

She was the most gracious human I had ever had the pleasure to watch,

'' Take her with you, Nott,'' I spoke up, aiming to turn around — to walk away before she ever had the possibility to stop me,

But her hand instantly yanked me back, my eyes matched hers, ''What?'' She broke,

'' Why would you say that?''

I swallowed again, doing everything in my power not to let my emotions and the look of her cloud my mind,

'' _Leave_ , Amelie,'' I growled, narrowing my eyes in hers as her entire face fell. I hauled away from her grip, but that didn't stop her from grabbing my arm once again,

'' No,'' She breathed out, one clear tear rolled down her cheek, '' I promised you not to—,''

'' I don't want you here,''

I could almost hear her heart tore in two within her, at the exact time mine broke,

'' I want you to leave. I'm done with you now,''

The pale, tiny hand rushed up to her cheek, wiping the tears off as her eyes grounded, her skin whitened,

'' You used me,'' She whispered, '' You said that I could trust you, but you used me,''

My veins flushed in hurt, in torture graver than any curse I had ever lived through, '' I did. I used you, and now that I have what I wanted—,''

My chest heavy, my eyes flicked off hers. I couldn't look at her anymore. I broke her, more than anyone else had ever done,

But I needed her to believe me. She wasn't safe here.

'' I don't need you anymore, now _leave_ ,''

Amelie's breaths fluttered as she nodded; still in the most hurtful time, she stood with more bravery than any of us could carry,

'' All I wanted to do was to help you, to be enough for you,'' She whispered as she gently dropped my touch out of hers,

She was.

She was more than enough for me,

I could never deserve her,

'' I just wanted to be with you,'' She held as she took a step back, avoiding my eyes searching for hers,

'' I'm sorry that I wasn't enough for you, Draco,''

And with that,

She spun around, still refusing to look at me as she ran out of the front door,

She was gone, and every emotion that made me a decent human being went with her.

________


	23. T w e n t y - t w o ,

**Amelie** ,

'' Amelie,'' Theodore yelled as he stormed after her, rushed steps over the gravel-covered ground echoed throughout every tree on the Malfoy property, '' Amelie, wait,''

She stopped as her heart beat roughly within. The strikes of disbelief tore through every flush of blood in her vessels.

She didn't want to do this anymore.

No matter what she did or didn't do. She was always the one ending up with a heart shattered into an infinity of pieces, and now,

Now she stood outside his manor, where he had kept her locked up for nearly two weeks, in the beginning, against her will and still,

Still, her mind was tortured by him, Draco, and what he had spoken to her,

_'' Leave Amelie,''_

_'' I don't want you here,''_

_'' I used you,''_

_'' I don't need you anymore,''_

Amelie deserved more, so much more, but that seems to be the thing harder than anything else for a girl who had walked through most of her life in violence,

She didn't know. She had no clue of what she deserved or not.

To her, it was both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply.

'' For gods sakes, Amelie. Just wait,'' Theodore yelled again as the chilly autumn breeze scored against her bare skin, shivers fled her spine in the collusion of tears prickling her eyes,

'' I don't want to—,'' She stuttered, the highest pitch in her voice cracked, '' Take me away from here,''

Amelie stopped, her eyes shut close in the attempt to fight the salty liquid,

'' Just take me away from here.'' She spoke again, almost beneath her breath as Theodore stepped in front of her,

His hands moved to her cheeks as his warm thumbs stroked over the tear-stained skin.

He looked at her with such compassion, nearly as if he could feel her pain. How her heart repeatedly crippled for people who could never deserve her.

Her eyes fluttered open as a tear, a perfect, clear, tear rolled down the pale skin, '' Please, Teddy,'' Amelie begged him again, quietly,

Theo's hands wrapped around her shaking self, pulling her straight into his chest as he gripped his wand.

'' Anything for you,'' He whispered, before raising the wood in between his fingers,

'' Apparate,''

_______

**Draco,**

He stood frozen in time, as he caught the sound of wind swirling in a rough act outside.

Draco recognized the sound, she left.

She left him, and even if he told her to, almost demanding her to leave,

It hurt.

It hurt that the one person who brought out the little unce of good in his haunted mind, the person he had hoped to be his redemption, left.

And he was all to blame for it.

The wind whirled through the front door as the curtains hanging gracefully over the windows wavered at the act, in a way her hair always did in the summer air,

The stands off hair falling over her shoulders always danced in the warm gust,

Draco shook his head, trying to shake the image of her out of his mind,

'' That was a reckless thing of you to do, son,'' His mother spoke softly, calming from feet away, '' She would've stayed with you.''

His head rose, looking straight at her as he swallowed,

'' I know she would've stayed. That's exactly why she had to leave.'' Draco mumbled, still haunted by the frame of her glued to his mind,

'' Then why, Draco? Why would you push her—,'' His mother sought to speak,

'' Because she's not safe here. I can't focus when she's around. I—,'' He hewed himself off, shutting his eyes closed. '' It had to be done sooner or later. I was foolish for keeping her here for as long as I did,''

Narcissa let out a muffled huff, slightly nodding to the words spoken by her son, '' That was truly selfless of you then, Draco,''

Her hand scored warm on his shoulder, making him flinch back at the sudden touch, '' I'm proud of you, Draco,''

'' Don't be,'' He snapped, shrugging his mother's touch off as he marched towards the front door, severe steps clicked over the tile floor,

'' You may be a lot of things, mother, but being proud of me shouldn't be one of them,''

Draco's hand slammed against the timber, shoving the door shut before his fists struck against it, over and over and over,

His breaths ragged, the air in his lungs tightened at the thought of what he had done. He crumbled within, the skin coating his body suddenly felt chained, as if he was trapped in his own mind,

'' Draco,'' His mother tried to call out for him, to make him stop hurting himself, '' Draco, please,'' She begged,

He sucked in a harsh breath, feeling the warm scent of Amelie still lingering around him as he turned to face Narcissa,

His fingers stroked over the blood-stained knuckles, but it didn't hurt. Nothing could hurt more than what he had done moments earlier,

He had to forget about Amelie. That was the only way he could serve the dark lord properly, but how could he ever do that,

Forget someone so enchanting, mesmerizing, trapping,

Draco was never the one to be in contact with his feelings, to the emotions another human being would be, but he was with her.

The tears pooling in Narcissa's eyes brought him back to presence; her cheeks drained of color as she watched her son quietly fall apart in front of her,

'' No, mother,'' He sighed before taking urgent shoes up to her, " I'm sorry."

His arms placed around her utterly, hugging her trembling body straight into his chest. Draco held her, similar to how she used to hold him when he was the one in need of comfort,

'' I didn't mean to upset you,'' He mumbled into the colliding strands of blonde and brown hair, a cold hand swept over her back, soothingly stroking the soft fabric of her shirt,

'' Please don't be upset,'' He continued, holding her tightly for minutes. He felt her heart pounding, her breaths hitching with every sharp inhale, not to give in to her emotion,

'' I need to take care of our...'' Draco quieted down, rolling his tongue in the inside of his cheek before he tended away from her, '' _Our_ _guest_ ,''

The grey eyes flickered up the stairs to the second floor, remembering how the boy who had been intruding their home still laid unconscious on the floor of his room,

'' Be careful, please.'' Narcissa pleaded as he withdraw from her touch completely, brushing a messy strand of hair off his forehead,

'' I will,'' He muttered as he stormed up the stairs, in the complete understanding that he just lied to his mother,

If anything — Draco would never be gentle with the boy who had hurt the girl he cared for so deeply.

______

 **Amelie** ,

With her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms hugging around them — she rested entirely still on the sofa. Her eyes held plastered on the flames sparkling in the fireplace in front of her,

Theodore had brought her to his family cabin, deeply buried in a forest not many souls knew about.

It was safe here; no one could bother them as they rested in the quiet peace of birds singing in the early dawn and the leaves shrugging against each other as the dusk settled.

She was safe here. She knew that, yet she couldn't help but flinch every time her best friend closed in on her, every time a fork dropped to the wooden floor, every time he mumbled something underneath his breath,

Her mind held restless, worn, nearly defeated by Draco's tries to work inside it, and he did.

He searched her mind to a point where she couldn't possibly reach on her own still it wasn't enough,

Still, she never found that hidden place she knew he sought to find. Amelie still had no grasp of what it was he needed from her or if he found it on his own.

She shouldn't care. She shouldn't bother.

She was safe here, with Theodore. The one person who had never once failed her in the years she spent on this earth.

'' A penny for your thoughts?'' Theodore's voice smoothly broke through the numb trance she found herself in.

Her head arched to gaze at the boy standing in the doorway with two cups of blue porcelain in his hands,

She didn't answer. She merely nodded as he stepped inside the living room, his neck lightly bent not to hit his head in the roof,

That was one of the many things she adored about this cabin — the structure of it,

Nearly something you could read about in the old dusty children's books,

Her hands reached in the air as she gently took the cup from her friend before falling back against the furniture, '' Thank you, Teddy.'' Amelie spoke, sending him a smile they both knew not to be a real one,

'' My pleasure,'' He smiled back. The dimples in his cheeks showed as her heart melted.

She had missed him so much, more than she ever believed in doing.

It was strange to her to be attached to another human being in a way that ached the second you weren't close to them.

The scent of honey her best friend brought was the one thing she always found comfort in, and now — here he was, sitting next to her, both of them a little more broken than the last time they saw each other,

Not that it mattered. The two best friends had a record of always gluing another back together,

Her head clocked towards the bright flames scoring low between the bricks; the scent of burnt wood soothed her senses as she stretched the porcelain up to her mouth, taking a sip of the tea.

'' It's supposed to rain tomorrow,'' Theodore broke the calming quietness, making her look at him as he sweetly chuckled,

'' I mean, we can go for a walk, maybe? Like we used to do?''

She smiled, huffing to herself as she shoved closer to him.

Her head on his shoulder, '' I'd love that,'' Amelie whispered, her fingers nervously twitched around the heated ceramics in her hands,

She wanted to ask him something. She needed to know why he was so upset with her back at the Malfoy manor, why he acted in a way he had never done before.

But she didn't want to ruin anything. She was scared to set him off, to make him leave just like every other person had left her before,

'' I just miss the scent of rain, grass, trees, all of it bound together, you know?'' Theodore kept going as he gently rested his head on hers, his arm settled over her legs,

'' Teddy—,'' Amelie nearly choked up out of doubt,

His head rose as he tilted it, looking curios at her, '' Yes?''

Even her breaths were to be hesitant; the slight hitch as she sought to exhale made his brows furrow, his face twisted in a grimace,

'' What's wrong, Amelie?'' He asked her, shifting around in his seat to face her fully,

Amelie anxiously tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, looking down at her cup, '' Do you know something I don't?'' She asked, '' I mean, about me?''

Theodore's face fell into confusion as she looked up at him, her sight matched his, and the glint of guilt flashed through the green, honest eyes she always sought the truth in,

'' Such as?'' Theodore shot back, his tone slightly harsher, '' I don't know what you—,''

'' I think you do,'' She cut him off, still staring straight at him, '' I think you do know, Teddy, and I think you're lying to me,''

His pink lips pushed into a firm line as he reached over to the coffee table, putting his cup down before leveling her again,

'' And I'm so tired of people lying to me, so please, Teddy. Please just be honest with me,''

He swallowed thickly at that, knowing that the words fleeing her throat were nothing more than reality.

Everyone always kept the girl in front of him, in the dark.

'' What do you want to know?'' He grumbled, '' I'll tell you anything you want to know,''

Amelie slowly nodded, '' Adrian,'' She spoke up, '' Did he tell you why he didn't want me to go with Draco? Before we left?''

Her hands tightened around the drink, she knew that something was suspicious about Adrian's actions that day, but Draco never answered her questions about that,

He did what he did best. He ignored it, every time she attempted to speak to the blonde-boy about the other boy she had promised to marry,

He shut her out.

'' He did,'' Theo nodded, sending her a doubtful look,

'' Was it because he cared?'' Amelie questioned, feeling the restless feeling of wanting to know the truth, fume within, '' Or was it something else?''

Theodore hesitated. He tore his eyes from hers, staring down at the floor as he thought about what to say, how to put it.

Because he knew why Adrian wanted to protect her that day, but he also knew why Draco took her away.

He knew what he wanted from her. Adrian had told him, one night in the common room as he got in after a late-night walk — he found Adrian resting on one of the couches, with a glass of moonshine in his hand,

And that drink turned into two, three, five, seven,

Until Adrian was dizzy enough to open up and tell him everything he wished, he didn't know.

'' Something else,'' Theodore blurted out, still avoiding to face his best friend as he felt her eyes burn right through him,

'' What?'' She breathed out, her hand gripped his, '' Tell me what it is, Theodore,''

He knew that she deserved to know. It was her life, her future that was on the line, yet he held the understanding that his best friend had a heart, more fragile than any other, and what he was about to tell her,

Would break it, more than anything else had ever done.

'' He didn't care, Amelie,'' Theo sighed, his hands placed on his elbows, his head buried in his palms,

'' He wanted to protect you because of the vow. If something were to happen to you, or if you got hurt, or even worse—,''

'' He does too,'' She finished for him, her vocals left in stutters, her voice airy, '' He wanted to save himself,''

'' Yes, he did,'' Theo confirmed what she feard so severely, '' He wanted to protect himself,''

Amelie didn't think the ache in her heart, the scoring pain pushing throughout her blood, could hurt any graver, but it did.

At this moment, it did.

Tears formed in her eyes as she blinked quickly to hide them. Her breaths fluttered, '' And Draco? Do you know what Draco wanted, which memory he was looking for?''

Theodore swallowed once again, his head shifted to look at her, '' I do, but I don't think it's a good idea—,''

Her eyes grew wide, her skin ashen, '' Tell me.'' She nearly demanded, '' Tell me right now,''

He halted as his lips parted. He wanted to save her from this, and apparently — so did Draco; otherwise, he would've told her weeks ago,

But he didn't. He knew, just as Theodore knew that this could live to be the end of her.

'' Please,'' Amelie begged, " Just tell me, please."

Her eyes shun in liquid as his jaws clenched. The battle he felt within nearly tore him in two,

He softly nodded, placing a hand on top of her shaking one,

''It's your mother, Amelie.''

''She's alive.''

_______


	24. T w e n t y - t h r e e ,

**Amelie,**

She stood, merely frozen on the edge of the cliff, and even if she held exposed to such an opportunity, where she had every chance in the world to finally end her years of suffering,

This was the first time she didn't want to.

Her eyes flickered over the treetops, hearing the whirl of chilly wind as it danced through the wavy strands of her hair,

The color on her cheeks flushed as she hugged herself. Her knees weak from the lack of sleep she possessed, the purple rings underneath her eyes faded into an even paler tone of skin.

She was losing herself in a moment where she was supposed to be happy.

The one thing she held dearly in this life, yet haunted her so deeply, was the truth of her mother's death.

Nobody could ever take that memory away from her because it was true.

It happened.

She was there when the last sip of air tightened in her mother's chest. She was there to witness her body as it turned cold. Still, her best friend, whom she had confided most of her existence in, told her the otherwise,

He told her that her mother was alive. He told her that she, deeply buried inside, was the only one with the knowledge of where her mother had gone,

What plan she had because the one person her mother trusted was her.

The strokes of gust nibbled her cheeks as her eyes snapped to the lake, buried in between the tree bunks, glinting in the sunbeams that kept peering out from behind the heavy clouds,

'' There you are,'' Theodore stepped close from behind, standing next to her on the cliff, '' I looked for you everywhere.''

She flinched back, still not used to another person being close to her after her weeks of being locked inside. Draco always made himself known before he approached her, but not Theodore.

He was familiar with her being appreciative of his closeness, but she wasn't. Not now.

Because now, it felt like someone had ripped a piece of her skin off of her. As if someone was taken from her, and the touch she craved more than anyone else's,

She couldn't have.

Draco had lied to her again, and she knew that he wasn't to be trusted, yet her mind refused to give in. She needed him.

Every day that passed without having him close to her, feeling the cold hands as he lingered, hearing the huffs he always made, looking into the grey, mesmerizing eyes as they watched her,

How he looked after her everywhere, she went without question.

Her mind battled in the confusion of the blonde boy. The ache she felt of her mother's lies tore through her as her best friend stepped closer,

'' Did you eat breakfast?'' Theodore asked her, looking concernedly at her as she slightly shook her head,

'' I didn't,'' Amelie whispered back, nearly inaudible by the wind around them, the leaves shrugging against each other,

Theodore closed in, his hands around her shoulders as he brought her into his chest, '' Let me make you something. It's important that you eat, love,''

Her eyes shut, eyelashes battled the salty liquid she felt urging in the corner of her eyes,

'' I know.'' Amelie whispered again, her arms still crossed over her chest, '' I just needed some air first,''

He held her as close as he possibly could, and he couldn't help but feel an amount of shame to shred within,

Theo knew what Draco wanted, why he tried to make her trust him. Why he always was there in every moment, she might have needed him, all because he needed an entry to her mind, to find out about the secret she had been holding for most of her life.

Draco knew her mother was alive, but so did Theodore, and the guilt he felt for keeping such a secret from his best friend killed him. It was torture, if not more than it.

Theodore's thoughts interrupted by the huff fleeing her lips, her body lightly shook at the cold breeze around them,

His head tilted, his hands scored large on her small face as he held it up, allowing her eyes to match his,

'' I want you to know something,'' Theodore mumbled, staring intensely at her. A slight nod made a strand of hair fall off her shoulder as he gently tucked it back behind her ear,

'' I'm sorry, Amelie.'' He held, jaws clenched together as a look of guilt rose upon him, '' I know, even though you'll probably never show it — I hurt you.''

He sighed, '' You haven't spoken to me in days, and I don't want you to be upset with me. I need you to understand why I did this. Why I never said anything.''

Her eyes grew wide in suspense, reserved to what he was about to inflict on her.

Amelie gazed up at him as the soil beneath her shoes sunk. Theodore sucked in a harsh breath before looking out over the forest, seizing more than calmly below the cliff they were standing on,

'' I promised Draco, never to say anything about this to anyone. He convinced me that this was for your own good, that you would be in danger if I told you about this.'' Theodore's eyes flickered, his lower lip quivered,

'' And I know it was the wrong thing to do. I understand that now, but there and then, with Adrian being gone, with Malfoy trying to earn your trust because of it — it felt like you had enough to worry about and I just couldn't.'' Tears pooled as he tensed the grip around her chin, his thumbs swiped over the skin of her cheeks,

'' I couldn't bear to tell you. I didn't want to be the one to break you.''

Amelie swallowed in the hold he had of her, looking up at her best friend as he stood tall in front of her. The curls on his head were messy, his eyes exhausted as the dimples usually showing in his cheeks looked faded,

'' So you let him do it?'' She asked him, her head dipping to his chest as she let her forehead rest against it, '' You allowed him to break me?''

Theodore shook. He knew that it wasn't easy for her to speak against him. But ever since she left with Draco that evening and the two weeks they spent apart, something was different with her.

Amelie had grown. She was still fragile, worn to the deepest of depths, yet not. Draco had given her hope. That even after years and years of misery — she could still find happiness.

Real happiness.

'' I'm not mad at you. I just don't understand why you would do that,'' Her neck arched to peer up at him, '' We tell each other everything, Teddy, no matter what. It has always been like that. I don't understand why you chose to lie about this?''

He let out a huff as he pulled her closer, his chin rested on her head as he looked out over the world in front of him,

'' I don't know, Amelie.'' He hushed down, swallowing as her scent filled his every sense, '' I just do foolish things sometimes.''

'' That's not fair.'' She shot back, still in his hold, '' You had months to tell me about this, Theodore, and yet you blame it on—,''

Amelie's veins ached as her mind circled the boy she was more than desperate to forget about. The boy who told her to leave, and the boy who, without cause, abandoned her when she needed him the most.

If she could go back, just a few months ago in time,

She would.

To where Draco never gave her much affection. To where she still remembered her mother to be dead. To where she knew how to handle Adrian. To where she and Teddy still had to sneak around.

But also, she knew that it was impossible, inevitable, to avoid the things that had passed her,

She missed the feeling of the known. She missed the sense of familiar as she buried her nose into the chest she always sought comfort in.

'' And yet you blame it on Malfoy,'' Her words left in stutters, and even if he didn't want to admit it. He reacted to the way she spoke his name.

She always said Draco, but not now.

Now the name dropped coldly off her tongue as if she needed to distance herself from him as if she wanted to deny everything that had happened between them.

'' But I wouldn't have it any other way.'' Amelie finished, holding her best friend close,

The sun tickled his nose as he breathed her in, '' I am sorry, love. I am so sorry for this. I really wanted to—,''

'' It's alright, Teddy.'' She hewed him off, feeling his head heavy on hers. '' I know why you did what you did, and I'm sorry you got dragged into this. I'm sorry that he used you too,''

Theodore bent back, his hands on her shoulders as he held her steady, looking at her as a confused look arose him,

'' He didn't... I mean, why would you say that?'' Theodore shrugged,

Her head tilted, '' Everyone uses everyone, it's just how it is, isn't it? That we take what we want from someone and then leave them just a little more broken than when we found them?''

A gasp fell his lips as his brows furrowed, '' Why would you say that?''

'' Because it's true, Teddy. Adrian wanted me for my bloodline. My father only wished to hurt me. My mother is clearly alive and left me with the responsibility of finding her when she needed me too, and Malfoy—,''

She said Malfoy again.

'' He... He took what he needed, twice.''

She exhaled, deeply, almost as if she let all of that anger, and sorrow she held for him — out,

Her eyes flickered over his shoulder, and even if the words spoken hurt her, she felt a flame of peace burning within, because in all of this — all of this hurt the people around her had put her through, she was still good.

She never gave in or gave up.

She never let the haunted mind of hers take over.

She was still here.

She stood, on a cliff, with the possibilities of ending it all, and she didn't.

All the hurt, all the pain, all the torture — it wasn't a loss.

It was a win.

She made it.

And even if she doubted herself to a point where she almost allowed the darkness to seize her,

She was still here.

Her mother lying to her. Her father leaving her when he knew what would come if he did. Draco using her for her memories. Adrian abusing her for as long as she could remember,

It hurt. It really did.

She felt a shy smile arch in the corner of her mouth as her arms slipped around Theodore's neck, placing her chin on his shoulder,

But it wasn't the end.

'' I love you, you know?'' Amelie whispered through the gust, '' In that, real fairytale way,''

Theodore held her back, just as tight, looking out over the treetops, '' I know. I love you even more.''

This was only the beginning.

This was her beginning.


	25. T w e n t y - f o u r,

**Amelie,**

_Day 12._

_Twelve days I've been here now._

_Twelve days of Teddy and me._

_Twelve days of learning about myself in ways I didn't think would be possible._

_Twelve days of a mixture of constant heartbreak and a glint of hope._

_Twelve days of long walks in the forest, watching the sun from the kitchen window as it rose in between the mountains, over a laughter and a cup of tea with my best friend._

_Twelve days of thinking. Thinking about everything and nothing. Thinking about my mother, my father, Adrian, Pansy, Hermione..._

_And Draco._

_Twelve days of thinking about Draco._

_I miss him, even if I do everything possible not to miss him,_

_I do._

_I don't think I miss him as the person he lived to be. I miss the promises, the closeness of another person who would never bring violence upon me, the constant reassurance that I would be safe with him, and I was._

_I was safe with him. No place had ever felt safer than being close to him, even if he lied. I was safe._

_But that is not the thing that hurts about missing him, missing the feeling he brought me. The feeling that makes me want to cry every time my mind circles it._

_The thing that makes my heart split in two is that he was safe with me, and he knew that._

_He had never felt much affection. He even said so himself._

_'' I don't get those types of feelings.''_

_But he did. I think we both know he did, and I think that's why he told me to leave, because at the end of the day,_

_He cared. He cared enough not to bring me into the darkness he mastered. He cared enough to let me go._

_But how am I supposed to let that go?_

_How am I supposed to let the person who carried out such a selfless act go?_

_Teddy asked me the other night if I fell in love with him. If I had grown to care for Draco in ways, I never saw coming,_

_And I don't think I did. I don't think I fell in love with him, and I don't think he fell in love with me._

_I think we needed each other. I think the both of us are broken in ways we could never explain to each other, and I think that was what we needed._

_Someone who understood the pain and the torture without ever having to explain it._

_But I don't know. I don't know anything anymore._

_All I know is that he smelled like love, and it consumed me._

________

'' What are you doing?'' Theodore placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, smiling at her as he did, '' Are you writing on those napkins again? You know I can give you a real note pad—''

'' No.'' Amelie cut him off, her head tilting to rest against the hand on her shoulder, '' I had a notepad, but...'' She held,

The memory of the little pad resting underneath her mattress at the Malfoy Manor made her veins ache. Her heart felt heavy as she once again thought about the blonde boy.

'' I lost it, and I don't want a new one.''

Theodore nodded slowly as he watched the white napkin in front of her, '' When you write on those, do you save them after, or do you throw them away?''

Amelie sighed, her eyes shut as she felt the evening sun slipping through the cracks of the window warm her skin. '' I throw them away.'' She lied, knowing that she didn't.

She saved them.

She saved every single one in that red little jewelry box underneath the bed, with the hope that she one day can look back on them and remember how far she'd come.

How much she had accomplished.

'' I throw them in the fireplace and let all my feelings burn along with them,'' Amelie said, smiling shyly for herself as her cheek stroked against his hand, feeling the warmth he always brought her.

Theodore nodded again as he placed another hand around her, pulling himself closer to her from behind. He leaned down, holding his best friend gently as she looked out of the window in front of her,

'' Do you remember when you asked me if we would make it?'' Amelie smiled, her eyes glinted as she folded the napkin, '' If we would be okay?''

Theo nodded, his head on top of hers, '' Of course, I do.'' He said, holding her tighter, her hair felt soft against his skin, '' How could I ever forget?''

Amelie smiled again. The corner of her mouth twitched as she scrunched the material of what he had written in between her fingers,

'' I think we will.'' She whispered, peering up to look at her best friend, '' I think we will be alright, Teddy.''

He hummed at her, his arms around her entirely as he hugged her, '' I know we will.''

Amelie hadn't felt at peace in a long time, but she did now.

Right here.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, looking out over the sunset as Theodore held her close. That was all she needed right now. That was all she wished for.

She knew that everything around her would come to change. That everything she believed she knew would not be known again,

That her mother was alive and that Amelie herself was the one carrying that burden of a secret hidden within.

A secret that many souls were longing to get a hold of.

That her father had escaped in order to save himself from the punishment that would come along with the secret of her mother's wellness.

She was exposed, threatened, and even if she was expected to be scared, to fear the darkness she knew was coming,

She didn't.

She wasn't scared anymore because they couldn't possibly do anything to break her more than she had already been broken before.

_______

**Draco,**

'' Where is she you ask?'' Adrian spat, his hands tied together in a visionless spell, '' _You_ took her from me, remember? _You_ tell _me_ where she is."

Draco chuckled, his expression amused as he dragged the wooden chair over the floor, making a horrifying sound as he did.

'' She's not your property, Pucey.'' Draco hissed, his hands clenched around the timber as he stopped, right in front of the boy. '' She can't be taken, from anybody, because she belongs to no one but herself.''

'' Is that so?'' Adrian smiled devilishly, '' Did she tell you about the vow?''

Draco swallowed quietly, not letting on any emotion as he slipped down onto the chair, eyeing Adrian down.

'' She did.'' Draco lied, knowing that she didn't, but he knew.

He knew that something was keeping her from leaving Adrian. The bruises on her body. The constant flinching in her muscles when someone caught her off guard,

Amelie was always scared, and this made the last piece of his puzzle fit together.

Adrian scoffed as he leaned back against the stone-covered wall in the basement. His head dropped to it as he breathed heavily.

'' Then you do know that she does belong to me,'' Adrian heaved, still catching his breath from the torture Draco had put him through moments earlier,

'' There is no way out of a vow, Malfoy. Sure, you can fuck her, but you can never—''

The shoe colliding with Adrian's ribs as Draco shot up from his seated position made the boy fall to his side, a trail of coughs escaped his lips as he spat out blood,

Draco took a boot back, hunching down on his seat again as he placed both of his elbows on his knees,

'' That should teach you, never to talk about her in that way, ever again.'' Draco endangered, the tone in his voice was dangerously cold,

'' I won't hesitate to kill you, Adrian.''

Adrian's hands pushed against the floor, allowing his aching body to lean against the wall again, '' Yes, it will—''

Another cough left Adrian's throat as he sought to collect himself, '' If you take my life, you take hers too.''

Draco's arms felt heavy on his knees as he thought about it, how true this must be. She would die if he did, and he would die if she did.

This made Amelie, in his mind — even more exposed. That she one day could take her own life knowing that she'll take the person haunting her with her.

She could end her own suffering, along with everyone else's, but what Amelie didn't know, was that she was his salvation.

Draco needed Amelie, and the thought of her being in harm's way made his veins ice. The numbness found within sparked.

'' And that's not what you want, right, Malfoy?'' Adrian choked out, making the blonde one face his provoking stare.

Draco sucked in a harsh breath as he forced the chair back, with one hand — he slammed it into the wall next to Adrian, causing pieces of wood to spill everywhere,

'' There you go,'' Adrian smiled, blood slipping the corner of his mouth, '' That's the spirit, isn't it? Protecting someone who could never be yours.''

'' I don't need her, and I don't want her, Pucey.'' Draco lied, making his own stomach twist in disgust at his words, ''This is about my family. I need her to save them. So—''

Draco strode closer, kneeling down beside Adrian's weak body, '' I have kept you here for weeks, and I will continue doing just that until you tell me where Nott took her.''

Adrian looked straight through him, attempting to breathe through the pain of the endless torture the blonde one had him go through, day in and day out,

'' I still don't understand why you want to—'' Adrian quieted down, looking curiously at Draco as his mind caught being, '' You told her to leave, didn't you?''

His words made Draco visibly uncomfortable as he rose a dangerous brow, swallowing the temper he was about to miss, '' I asked you a question, Pucey, and I recommend that you answer it.''

Adrian let out a weak chuckle, almost an airy huff as he licked up the blood flooding from the cut in his lip, '' How did you do that, Draco? Did you tell her to leave? Did you lie to her? _Oh_ —''

Adrian laughed again as he noticed the guilty look climbing onto Draco's face, '' You lied to her, didn't you?''

'' That's none of your—'' Draco seethed, his teeth gritted as his fingers clenched around the wand placed in his pocket,

'' But it is my business, when will you understand that? Here—'' Adrian propped himself up, his hands still tied together as he swung his head to the side, making the brown strands of sweaty hair off his forehead,

'' Let me tell you a little secret about Amelie. There is nothing you can say or do to ever make her stop caring. She is loyal, more loyal than a person should have the power to be.''

'' She doesn't care about herself, and that's why I chose her. Because she will do whatever I want her to do, and she will be whomever I want her to be. That's the beauty of manipulation mixed with magic, Malfoy—''

Draco swallowed as he felt his blood rising to boil,

'' Even if she cares for you, she will never be free of me, and you know what? I hope you kill me. That way, she'll die too, and I don't ever have to see her again.''

Adrian's head struck against the wall as Draco's hand flew to his throat, his fingers squeezing into this skin,

'' Tell me where Theodore took her, you _filthy_ _disgrace_.'' Draco shouted, his voice echoed hoarse throughout the basement, '' Tell me where he took her right now, or I swear to god that I'll—''

'' Kill me?'' Adrian repeated himself, '' Please do.''

Draco's head shook, his lower lip sucked in between his teeth as he shot up again, standing tall on his feet with Adrian still in a firm grip his hand,

The blonde one threw Adrian over the stone floor, making him whine out as he slowly walked towards his struggling body,

'' I won't kill you, Adrian,'' Draco smirked, hauling his wand out of his pocket,

'' That would be too kind to someone like you.''

Adrian's eyes grew in fear even if he sought to hide it. His tied-up hands tried to push him off the floor as he watched the light in Draco's eyes darken,

'' Now, where were we?'' Draco spat, raising his wand, '' Oh, right, _Sectumsempra_.''

_________


	26. T w e n t y - f i v e ,

**Amelie,**

'' Why is that?'' She smiled as she stumbled over the roots embedded into the soil, '' How come that after nearly ten years, you're still obsessed with that book?''

Theodore shot her annoyed glare as his hand stretched into the air, holding some branches out of the way for her to walk past him.

'' I don't know. I just like it.'' He hummed, taking a stride after her, '' Some things just stick with you, you know? Even if you like it or not.''

Amelie smiled again, her hand tucked into a glove brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Her cheeks grew red by the minute of the late chilly autumn breeze,

'' Like you got stuck with me, you mean?'' She mocked him, her shoulder nudging his,

Theo's eyes rolled, his mouth pushed into a firm line not to laugh at what she just told,

'' Maybe.'' He taunted back, his arm slipped to intertwine with hers as they kept walking through the woods towards a place they both cherished,

'' Do you smell that?'' Theodore smiled cheekily. His veins flushed in warmth as he looked down at her, stumbling over the branches beside him,

'' Yes — it smells like rain, doesn't it?'' Amelie whispered as she remembered. She nearly halted in her tracks, to breathe in the scent of this,

The trees, the leaves, and the feeling of rain coming to seize her senses — all in a breathtaking fusion.

Theodore tilted his head, gazing down at his best friend, who stood almost mesmerized by the surroundings. He noticed the hat on her head had slipped down a little too far,

But he didn't bother telling her about it. She looked beautiful either way.

Her glove-covered hand reached up to her reddened nose, gently scratching it as she looked back up at him,

'' It does smell like rain.'' He mumbled before placing a hand on her back, gesturing for her to keep going,

'' Come on, we're almost there.''

_________

**Draco,**

His head was placed in his hands as he rested on the last steps of the stairs.

He wanted to give up. He had looked everywhere imaginable for her, and even if he did what was right for her at the time when he asked her to leave,

He regretted it now.

Amelie would be so much safer with him. He knew that.

But nothing he did helped his urge to find her.

He had torn her room apart. He had ripped every book off its shelf, shredded every page in two to see if there was any way she would've saved something — something that could tell him where she could be hiding.

But once again, nothing.

Draco loved being in her room, even when she wasn't there. At night, when he sought to sleep but the nightmares woke him up at the hour of twilight,

He usually walked into her room. He slid down next to the door, with his knees hugged to his chest — in a way he knew she did.

And it brought him comfort, in all the unknown — it granted his haunted mind a spare of peace.

It was a well-needed rest of his mind. The energy and the focus he had put into searching Adrian's mind drained him. It took more of Draco than he would ever let on because as he searched every memory Adrian had of her,

As he looked through every flash of light to find her, he watched everything Adrian had put her through. Every word, every hard grip around her arm, every shoe he forced into her chest, every vein in her skin that burst out of exhaustion, every bruise, every cut,

Everything.

Everything a person shouldn't have to go through — she did, and that made his need to find her even graver.

Draco didn't fully understand why he had such a desire to help her fix the broken pieces of a puzzle within her, but he did.

He needed to help her, and in some unexplainable way — he believed her to need him too.

Perhaps it was the task he knew about, where she was held more than exposed.

Where the dark lord was on a witch hunt for her mother, and Amelie was the only human standing in his way.

It was almost time. The time where he was to see Voldemort again, where he had no choice but to come with the answer the dark lord craved,

He needed his father, and his mother lacked him more — but those weeks of holding Amelie here, in his home, made him realize that he could never do that to her.

He could never give her up for the dark lord's pleasure, even if it meant that he would lose his father.

She didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve anything he had put her through, and the anger with himself for coming to that realization too late caved his bones.

In some way, the dark lord would get to her; that was inevitable. She would have to face the figure of darkness himself,

But Draco would make sure to be there when she did. To spare her every ounce of harm that was coming her way.

He would always protect her. Even if he wasn't aware of doing it, he always would.

The grey eyes flickered out of the basement, watching every stone of the floor covered in blood before they settled on the boy,

The cruel, vile boy laying all crawled up in the corner of the room, exhausted of the torture he had put him through.

'' You know—'' Draco rose as he pushed himself off the stair he rested on. '' This could be much easier for you if you tell me where she is.''

Adrian signed out a huff that split in the hurt of his broken ribs, knowing that pieces of bone endangered the air in his lungs every time he sought to speak.

'' I told you—'' Adrian hewed himself off with a weak cough, the wind escaping his mouth brought blood to spill over the floor,

'' I don't know where she is.''

Draco felt his blood boiling, and the craving to kill the demon struggling on the floor almost turned overwhelming — even if he knew he shouldn't.

It triggered him. I brought out more than the worst of him.

''Then again, Pucey. Tell me someone who might know.''

'' I don't—''

'' _Oh_ , but you do. You do know someone. I saw it in your head. You're keeping something from me, and I want to know what it—''

Draco's words faltered as they came to mind, as someone who knew where they could be circled his head.

He felt a shy curl on his lips as he let out a provoking chuckle, '' Never mind.'' He mumbled, turning in his shoes to walk up the stairs,

He brushed a strand of blonde hair off his forehead, '' I'm confident that Mr. Nott is willing to speak on this, more than you have been.''

The words fleeing his throat made Adrian shiver, knowing that the blonde boy would leave to find what he'd been hiding,

Knowing that Draco would find Amelie before he did, and the reality of Draco knowing where she was, meant that he had no use in keeping him here anymore.

________

 **Amelie** ,

'' It's just how I remembered,'' Amelie whispered to herself as they stepped out on the overgrown beach.

Masses of grass now covered the sand they used to play in as children; the trees that held no more than an inch taller than them years ago — had now grown majestic.

Theodore walked over the treeline, out on the sand mixed with grass as he turned around to look at her, and she couldn't do anything but smile at the boy in front of her,

In remembrance of how they used to play here all summer long before life got complicated, messy.

They used to sneak out of the cabin, just as dawn climbed the mountain tops before anyone else was awake — and they sprinted their way down through the woods, in nothing but their nightclothes, not even with shoes on their feet.

And they loved it. Every single second of it.

They loved making sandcastles. They loved putting the tips of their toes in the cold water as the sunrise welcomed a new day,

Amelie smiled again, her head tilted as her teeth showed. She loved it here.

'' Do you think the water is as cold as it used to be?'' Theodore shouted from further away. The heavy strokes of wind muffled his vocals,

He felt proud of himself for making her smile. That was the only reason why he took her here, to a place he knew she cherished.

She hadn't smiled much in the weeks they had spent together here, and he knew their time together in peace without another soul bothering them was about to run out,

He had to make the most of it. He had to.

Her head shook as she strolled after him, her shoes slightly sunk into the sand as she came closer to the shoreline. Amelie sat down, her knees all drawn up to her chest, in a way she always sat,

She watched Theodore as he pulled his glove off before carefully dipping his finger into the blue, darkened water,

He made a freezing sound, his shoulders tensed, his figure lightly shook as his teeth clasped together.

'' It's definitely just as cold.'' He muttered to himself before staking up to her, slipping down on the grass,

Theodore's eyes flickered up to hers with the hope that she had paid attention to what he was saying, but she wasn't.

Amelie never paid much attention to him anymore — he noticed.

Not that it bothered him. They had spent weeks together, and a person can only take so much of another,

But this was different. Amelie was different.

She was here, with him, yet her mind was far, far away — someplace where he could never go,

And deeply in his kind mind, he knew who she was thinking of, even if she never said it.

Theodore didn't want to push her, he didn't want to bother the calmness he believed she found herself in, yet he sought to think that she needed to talk about it,

To not bury her thoughts, to not go through her pain alone.

'' Do you—'' Theo rose, his head tipped to look at her, to watch as her head spun around to match his.

He swallowed, the crease in between his eyebrows scrunched together, '' Do you think of him?''

'' Of who?'' She nearly whispered, even if she knew who he was talking about. Amelie didn't want it to seem obvious. She almost felt ashamed that he asked her such a question,

'' Malfoy.'' He puffed out, his hands placed behind him for support as he stared out over the lake,

Amelie did the exact same thing. She looked out over the water in front of her,

"Sometimes.'' She whispered again, '' And sometimes not.''

'' He really hurt you, didn't he?''

She swallowed, and a gentle nod made a strand of hair fall over her shoulder, '' In some ways, he did, and in other ways, he didn't.''

'' What do you mean about that? That in some ways he did, and in other ways he didn't?'' Theodore met her eyes, watching how her lips pushed into a firm line, how she sought to hide the emotion inside of her,

'' Draco was...'' Amelie held her chin on her arms that hugged around her knees as she watched the world before her,

'' He was kind to me, not in a way you would've expected from someone with his reputation, but he was, and even if it was all an act at times, it still felt real. You know, like he meant it?''

Theodore nodded,

'' I don't know. It just... It felt safe with him.'' She sighed, burying her chin deeper in between her crossed arms. She felt the air tug at her cheeks, making them flush in color,

'' Draco was like the sound of rain. It comforts you when you are in need of it but still soaks you with all of its sorrows when you're not. You could listen to it all night, but despise it in the light of day, and you—''

Amelie swallowed the lump she felt growing in the back of her throat as Theodore's eyes stayed on her,

'' And you miss it terribly when it's not raining anymore.''

Even if this was hard for her, talking about Draco in the way she did — she couldn't help but smile at the thought of him,

'' He was my favorite feeling on my bad days, and I think I... I think I was all of his good days.''

Theodore kept looking at her, his sight was soft, sympathetic, but he didn't say a word. He let her speak her mind in a place he knew she was safe.

The thunder echoing over the mountains made her shiver as she held herself tighter, her eyes fell gently over the heavy clouds storming closer,

'' But that's the thing about rain, isn't it? Eventually, it stops pouring.'' She smiled again, holding onto the little piece of bravery left inside of her,

'' And god... I miss the sound of rain.''

_______


	27. T w e n t y - s i x,

**Draco,**

He didn't want to do this; he didn't want to do any of this. The thought of questioning Theodore's father was cruel, it hurt him in ways not imaginable, but he had to.

He had to find her. He had driven her away. He made her go, and he felt the weighty responsibility of bringing her back,

She wasn't safe. Her mind wasn't safe.

The truth of her mother still being alive threatened the girl he refused to believe he cared for so deeply.

No one ever understood why — why her mother's wellness mattered to the dark lord, but Draco, he did.

A chilly night, before his fate to enter Amelie's life was decided, he had overheard the dark lord in a heated conversation with his father, where they discussed the matter of her mother still being alive,

The dark lord is a man, who is buried so deep within the darkness — who is so ruthless in his mind — sadistic, wicked to the point that even one person, one single person fleeing the life he had planned for them to live, caused him to retaliate,

The dark lord was fooled the night he had gotten the news of Amelie's mother's death, and somewhere inside that twisted, wrecked mind of his, he knew — he held the truth of her still being here,

She was alive, and the fact that she carried a piece of his soul with her — made him furious.

Not many things in this life — in this world scared Voldemort, but the fact that Amelie's mother left with a piece that could be the end of his cruel ruling made the dark lord vicious.

And with Amelie's father's escape from under his deviant throne was testimony enough for him to realize that he was right all along,

The vengeance he was destined to seek for her doing such an unruly act — was grave, more than it.

He planned to hunt her mother and the happiness she had found in hiding, to the end of the earth if he was in need to. He would never give up.

The dark lord never gives up.

Draco held the reality of that, and perhaps that was why he was so scared, so intimidated by the thought of Amelie not being safe, all because he knew that Voldemort is capable of the most unforgivable acts, and he would use his dark magic on her, every chance he could get,

His mind was clouded as he stormed up the stairs — it must have been somewhere he hadn't looked yet,

Someplace where she kept something from him. He even tried to search her wand, in attempts to find her through her magic, but it was impossible — because he never got the chance to give it back to her, it rested on his nightstand,

Almost as if he believed that a part of her was with him through it — that she in some way were safer with him holding on to her wand,

And it granted him some peace in the unknown. It comforted him, the thought of her being just an inch safer than she was before.

With his own wand firmly clenched in between his fingertips, he twitched his wrist, mumbling the words apparate to himself,

And in the swifts of moves, he stood safely in front of the Nott residence.

Draco felt guilty being here. He felt ashamed, knowing that he would be able to do anything towards Theodore's father if he didn't reveal what he wanted to hear.

If he didn't speak of where Theodore had taken her.

With another swift of his wand, the door to his friend's childhood home flung open, and Draco's steps over the wooden deck scored severely.

'' What is this—'' Mr. Nott mumbled, the newspaper in his hand annoyingly tore from his eyes as he stumbled out in the doorway.

He looked around, hoping to catch whatever it was that made the door rip open, but nothing — from his point of view, the entrance was as empty and deserted as he had left it hours before.

But what Mr. Nott had no clue off was that a tall, blonde-haired boy, dressed in his all-black suit — stood lurking behind the wall leading to the living room,

Draco couldn't expose himself just yet, even if he — weeks ago, had established that Amelie wasn't to be found here, he couldn't be too certain.

His ears on edge as he shut his eyes closed, trying to listen if there was possible for another person to be here, and even if the light of hope burning within him went out years ago before any of this had the chance to occur,

The thought of Amelie was similar to a match, a heavenly glimpse of hope that could torch a fire within the walls of his own hell.

The grey eyes flayed open in the consciousness of her still not being here, of his mind holding so worn out of exhaustion that it is intended to play tricks on him.

He took a step over the wood, meeting the doomed eyes of Theodore's father, and as he did — as he watched the green eyes flicker in confusion as to why he was standing there, in a living room that was supposed to be empty,

He saw a glint of fear in a brave fusion with hope — the hope of Draco being able to tell him where his son had fled,

Mr. Nott straightened his spine. His head dipped in a swift nod as he greeted the blonde one who was already standing in his home,

'' Malfoy.'' Mr. Nott quietly spoke, his hand gestured towards the kitchen for Draco to join him as he walked across the room,

Theodore's father pulled out a chair, flopping onto it as his elbows slammed the glass table. He let out a sigh of frustration before his hand tilted, pointing over the table to the vacant seat,

Draco met his gesture kindly — like the well raised, mannered boy his parents taught him to be, he did what Mr. Nott had urged.

He slipped down onto the chair, staring emptily at the man in front of him.

'' What brings you here, Draco?''

But Draco stayed quiet. Not speaking a term as he looked around the room, how small it felt to what he was used to, how friendly and greeting it felt to be in such an environment as simple as this one.

The ticking clock caught his attention for a brief second — and even if it was a slight moment, it took him back to the night in the library.

The night he had been given a chance to feel her, touch her, and kiss her.

And he did.

He explored the sweet taste of purity falling off her lips as she kissed him. He felt the softness of her skin soothe against the palms of his hands in the most tender way. How the tips of her fingers gently stroked against the silken strands of his hair.

He breathed the scent of her in. That sugared, unchained wind of freshly cut flowers and light pouring rain filled every sense he had,

And as his eyes flayed open to face the truth of her still not being here — he could feel a slight drop in his chest. It was a strange feeling, an unfamiliar one, but it hurt. It iced his veins in an aching sensation,

Theodore's father cleared his throat to Draco's silence, and it made the boy became unfoggy of his haunting thoughts.

'' I—'' Draco mumbled, swallowing the pain he felt stinging in the back of his throat, '' I have some questions about your son—''

The look Mr. Nott gave him threw him off his terms before he quickly sought to gather the missing words and the confidence this would take,

'' About Theodore.'' Draco corrected himself politely in an attempt to show respect,

Mr. Nott's head fell and rose in a hastened move, similar to a bow for Draco to keep talking.

'' It has come to my... _attention_ that Theodore and Amelie are nowhere to be found, and the reason to why I am here on such an unaccountable matter is to see if you have any idea to where they could be.''

Theodore's father nodded slowly as the mention of his son shredded within. Theo never told his father that he was leaving — not that he had any time to do so, but he couldn't help but be mad at his son,

Because no matter how complicated life turned to be, both Theodore and his father always communicated. They were in many ways inseparable, and the betrayal for Theodore to leave without even a word hurt him.

Mr. Nott cleared his throat, and only that sound made Draco aware that he didn't. He didn't know.

The tone leaving his tongue shredded in pain — in suffering,

'' I don't.'' Theodore's father sternly spoke, his fingers intertwined in nervosity, '' What makes you believe that I would know where they are?''

'' Theodore.'' Draco answered, his jaws gritted as he rose his chin, looking at the man in pain, '' He always confide in you.''

'' Well—'' The man huffed as a fallen look beat his temples, '' He used to, but I suppose things change with age, Draco. You'll learn about it when you have children of your own someday.''

Draco gulped at the statement Mr. Nott had made. He felt a wave of ache tear his vessels as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat,

'' But if you don't mind me asking...'' Theodore's father held his breath, his eyes studying Draco's as he sought to avoid the fatherly stare,

'' Why are you looking for them? And don't get me wrong, Draco, but you were the last person I would believe to come looking for them.''

Draco gulped again.

'' When I realized that Theodore left — I believed that Adrian would find his way here, not you.''

The burning light of anger flickered through Draco's eyes at the mention of Adrian, and he did everything in his power to hide it,

But the second the thought of Adrian stung his mind — so did Amelie.

The scent of her once again clouded his whole being, and in that moment of malice, it soothed him.

Draco swallowed, his eyes frustratingly tore from the man,

'' I guess your son doesn't tell you everything, after all. Thank you for your hospitality, but I have to be somewhere. '' Draco mumbled as he forced his chair back before politely putting it back, and just as he was about to walk out of the room,

'' _Draco_ —'' Mr. Nott kindly called out for him, '' I know that my son is keeping secrets, and that is what a child is meant to do, and I can see that you have your fair share of secrets torturing you.''

The blonde stopped, his hand placed on the door-post as he tilted his head to the side, peering over his shoulder to listen,

'' Amelie is a sweet, caring girl, Draco, and it would be devastating to see her get hurt in any of you Malfoy men's doings...''

He quieted down, both of them still with their backs facing each other.

'' But I wouldn't put it past you not to look under her bed.''

The words leaving Mr. Nott's mouth made Draco freeze, a trail of chills erupted his spine as his eyebrows frowned,

''As I said, Amelie is a sweet, caring girl, Draco, and I believe that she could use someone on her side, besides — her hiding her things underneath her mattress, and Theodore snooping around to find them, wasn't a rare thing.''

Draco turned around in his shoes, eyeing the back of Theodore's father down as he felt the knot in his throat swell,

'' Take care of yourself, Draco, and please — do me a favor and keep an eye out for the both of them.''

_______

Draco slammed the door to her room shut, the harsh sound of wood colliding scored loudly throughout the walls,

His eyes fell over her bed, and he hesitated.

He faltered as he felt a sinking feeling of doubt waver within.

Draco didn't want to do this, he didn't want to overstep her privacy, yet he couldn't keep himself from doing so because he needed to find them,

He needed to keep her safe.

Draco fell to his knees as his hands tucked underneath the soft fabric of her sheets, and the slight puffs of wind — that kept hitting his face as the covers sunk back into the mattress made his heart ache,

The scent that traveled by air scoring softly against his skin felt like home — it scented just as Amelie did the night she found him, deeply haunted in a nightmare,

The night he was allowed to kiss her again. The night he told her to leave.

His head shook at the memory, his hands kept searching for something to tell him where she could be, and just as he was about to give up,

Just as he was about to break every piece of furniture in this room out of defeat — the tip of his fingers rubbed against something,

He jolted up on his feet, ripping the covers off the bed, and there it was — bounded in what looked like a little book,

He grabbed it, studying the plain cover before he unfolded the sheets and hunched down to rest on the edge of her bed,

His elbows placed on his knees, his chest felt heavy, and with a harsh breath sucked in through his teeth, his eyes hewed over the first page,

**_Day 4,_ **

**_I heard him again last night..._ **


	28. T w e n t y - s e v e n,

**Amelie,**

With her knees drawn up to her chest, her hat pulled down over her forehead — she hugged herself on the porch like she always does when her mind is somewhere else. 

She was thinking about everything she had been trying to escape, her mind clouded by every thought she did anything possible to flee.

Her head tilted, watching the forest in front of her, and she couldn't help but shyly smile at herself, how calm — easy everything had been these last few weeks. 

She was held in the dark. She knew that. 

She knew that Theodore was keeping things from her, and she didn't want to bother him with it, even if it was bothering her. 

Amelie didn't want to cause trouble, to be a burden to her best friend. 

So she remained there, on the porch in the complete depth of her thoughts. 

'' May I join you?'' Theodore caught her attention, making her head snap to where he was standing. 

She smiled, a courageous, kind smile as she nodded, '' Of course.'' 

He forced himself off the doorway he was leaning against, taking long strides up to her before he slipped down to the bench next to her.

Theo stared out over the yard, over the trees and the mountains showing behind them, just like she had done a minute ago, 

She looked at him, at the kind-hearted boy she had loved for most of her life. The chilly strokes of wind made his cheeks flush in color, spreading light-pink stains of warmth upon his skin, 

Amelie always looked at him like this. She still noted the tiny details of him when he didn't notice — she used to peer up at him, smiling for herself how tender he looked and was. 

'' I was thinking about something.'' Theodore broke the silence. His head tipped to the side to face her, 

'' You were thinking about what?'' She shoved herself closer to him; her shoulder pressed to his, 

Theo huffed, almost as if he was hesitating before he nervously began to fiddle with his fingers,'' I was thinking about your mother.'' 

Her eyes fell from his. Her head dipped down as she stared at her hands. 

She didn't say anything back; for moments, she remained quiet to his question — but still stayed close to him. 

'' And I was thinking about Adrian...'' 

Her head shot up, her brows furrowed as she eyed her friend down, '' Why are you thinking about Adrian?'' 

Her question made him nervous. His eyes flickered all over her features before catching her eyes again, '' I wasn't—'' 

'' It's just that we need to do something, Amelie. We have been here for weeks, and we haven't done anything to try—'' 

'' To try what?'' She hewed him off with a frown. '' What can we do, Teddy? With Adrian — there is nothing to be done. You can't break the unbreakable vow. You just can't, and you of all people know this; why are you bringing this up?'' 

She didn't mean to be rude to him, and the fallen look on his temples made her heart ache. 

'' I wasn't trying to—'' He quieted down, sighing loudly, '' You didn't even let me finish. May I speak, and when I'm done — then you can yell at me?'' 

Even in a conflict like this one, where she was supposed to be annoyed — frustrated with the way he was acting, she couldn't help but to playfully roll her eyes at her best friend. 

'' Then speak,'' Amelie muttered, her arms crossed over her chest. 

Theodore sighed again, '' I was just thinking about what we can do — what we can try. I just feel so useless. It's like I can't do anything for you. All I do is keep you here when I really want to help you.'' 

Amelie swallowed at that because he did. He always helped her, even when she wasn't in need to — he always rescued her. 

And the truth that he didn't think he did, made her eyes pool, small drips of liquid stung the corner of her eyes, 

'' But you do, Teddy. You do help me.'' 

His head shook, nearly as if he was disappointed with himself — angry, '' But I don't, Amelie. I feel like this is all my fault. If I just hadn't made you choose, maybe we could've—'' 

'' Stop,'' Amelie whispered, 

'' Then maybe we could've figured this out, then perhaps Malfoy had been able to search your mind, and—'' 

'' Stop it,'' She whispered again, 

'' And all of this would've been easier. I mean if we had stayed with Draco—'' 

'' If we had stayed with him, he would've made me leave in one way or another.'' She finally called out. The seriousness in her tone scored thunderously through the crowns of the trees, 

'' I know you want to help me, Teddy, and I adore you for that — I really do. But he asked us to leave. He told me to go with you, and I know he did that to keep me safe — I know...'' Her tongue halted as her chin rose, 

'' But it's been three weeks, Teddy, and he hasn't come looking for me. I just thought—'' 

The bravery she held within missed her as she stared out over the autumn elements and the worn leaves falling off the crowns of the trees caught her attention, 

'' I thought he would, that's all. I hoped he would've come looking for me.'' 

The valiant curl on her lips fell into a grievous line, '' I wished he would've come looking for me.'' 

Her tells left in an airy, slightly breaking note, '' He used to look for me, Teddy, every time I was in need — he would find me. Why didn't he do that now?'' 

Theodore's insides crumbled at her words. His heart suffered its beat for a brief moment because he watched the sun stroke against her skin, revealing the tears prickling in the quarter of her eyes, 

'' You don't know that, besides, no one knows about this place, even if he was out there, looking for you. I highly doubt that he would find us here.'' Theo sought to comfort her as he placed a warm arm around her shoulders. 

'' I'm sure he's waiting for you, Amelie. I mean, as you said — he wanted to keep you safe, why would he do that if he didn't—'' 

'' I don't know.'' She whispered, nearly holding her breath, not to let out the whimper she felt growing in the back of her throat, '' I really don't know.'' 

Theodore kept his eyes on her, holding her tightly in the bitter wind, '' Don't you worry, love. I'm sure he's looking for you.'' 

All she wanted to believe was that it was true. That he was looking for her, that he was searching to find her — even if she was safe, she needed him. 

She needed the calm safety he brought. 

'' I do.'' Theodore smiled as he peered down at her, '' I do know that he's looking for you. I truly think he is, love.'' 

And maybe he was, perhaps he wasn't. 

It didn't matter to her because it didn't change how she felt. 

Her heart still fluttered at the mere thought of Draco. Her blood flushed in warmth as she remembered how he treated her. 

How he was gentle — kind. 

**Flashback to a night in the Malfoy Manor,**

_She was seated in the chair he had put out for her in the deserted room, and she was ready for another session of him searching the memories he believed she kept hidden from him._

_" Are you ready?" Draco mumbled with his wand firmly hugged in his hand,_

_Amelie nodded. She wished to do anything she could to help him — even if this was draining her of everything,_

_" And you remember your safe word?" He asked her as he took a shoe closer._

_" Blue."_

_Draco bowed his head, his shoulders tensed underneath the black suit jacket, " Then remember to use it if you have to."_

_She nodded again, and she kept her breath steady to gather the strength for what she knew would come._

_The tips of her fingers tensed around the wood of the armrests, her nails dug into it._

_'' Legilimens'' Draco spoke, making the bright light fume around her,_

_Amelie closed her eyes as her whole body tightened,_

_'' Does it feel right?'' Draco questioned her as he kept her eyes on her trembling figure,_

_'' It does.''_

_Her head clouded as he tried to break the walls around her haunted memories down, but what Draco didn't know was the fact that when he searched her mind — she could watch his._

_And that tended to be the most painful part of this — not that he searched her head, but that she was allowed a piece of his._

_Amelie sought to focus on the echoes in her own mind. The calling of her mother and father, the cursed relationship she had with Adrian, but nothing._

_All she was able to see was his._

_She watched as he raised his wand towards people before shouting the most unforgivable spell. She looked as he used the darkest of magic to harm other souls, all to prove himself to his father and the dark lord._

_'' Amelie—'' Draco said, soothingly, in need to give her comfort, '' Think about your mother, Amelie.''_

_And she tried to. She truly did._

_But all she could see was his mother — as he hugged her, as he held his mother close._

_His mother meant the world to him. She lived to be the only person he honestly trusted more than anyone._

_Her eyes flickered behind her eyelids as she spun around in the darkened room her mind was kept in._

_She watched as Draco lowered his wand, away from a man seated in a chair,_

_Amelie flinched back at the voices she heard in her head, at the image of Voldemort approaching Draco._

_'' Draco—'' Amelie whispered, all consumed in the memory she was seeing,_

_Voldemort patted his shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze. He told Draco how good he had been doing, how talented he was interrogating people._

_But as she watched Draco's memory, she could also see how terrified he was — how extremely frightened and scared he was of the dark lord._

_'' Amelie, please.'' Draco mumbled from in front of her, '' Think about your mother.''_

_She nodded, but her mind stayed in the memory. She couldn't let it go — it kept her chained._

_Voldemort stepped up to the man bounded in the chair before he gestured for Draco to join him, and he did. He walked up to them while holding his breath,_

_The dark lord whispered into Draco's ear, something Amelie couldn't hear, and with those words — Draco rose his wand towards the faceless man still tied to his seat,_

_Amelie felt her blood ice, her eyes squeezing shut harder, '' Draco. I don't want to do this anymore.'' She whispered, clenching her fingers around the wood,_

_'' Amelie, focus on your mother. Focus on her and let me in.'' Draco said again,_

_But she had no strength to do so. She still looked at the image of Draco holding his wand up against the man,_

_Amelie knew what she was about to witness, even if it was just a memory in Draco's head — her body shook, her breaths hitched — she was scared._

_'' Draco, no, no, no.'' Amelie whimpered, and she tried to force her eyes open. She wanted to end this. She didn't want to see what he was about to do._

_'' The safe word, Amelie,'' Draco grumbled, and she felt his hand on hers — yet her mind refused to let her go._

_She still watched as Draco's wand was held close to the man, his fingers shakingly grasped around the timber,_

_'' Draco, stop!'' She screamed out as her hand grabbed his, '' Draco, please, please stop.''_

_'' The safe word, Amelie.'' His voice almost cracked in desperation._

_He needed her to say it. He couldn't break the magic he held her in if she didn't utter the word they had agreed on._

_Draco wasn't aware of what Amelie saw. He simply believed that she was thinking about her mother, that all of the memories of her was too much,_

_But in reality, Amelie watched Draco's haunted mind — the form of Draco in her head took a step back, aiming his wand entirely at the man, and just as he was about to shout the deadliest of spells,_

_'' BLUE,'' Amelie heaved, breaking free of the thought she was kept in, '' Blue, blue, blue,''_

_'' Finite,'' Draco shouted, allowing the bright swirl of light off her as she completely collapsed into the chair,_

_Her body trembled as her skin was covered in a thin layer of sweat, her eyelids felt more than heavy, and that simple memory of Draco harming someone almost took her out,_

_She didn't even wince by Draco's hands wrapping around her, lifting her up before placing himself in the chair, with her on his lap._

_He held her closely, hugging her into his chest to calm her down — to give her exhausted mind some ease._

_'' Sweetheart,'' Draco whispered into her hair, moving a large hand to stroke the tear rolling down her cheek — away, '' You're safe now, Amelie.''_

_Her breaths were ragged, her heart was beating out of control within the cage of her chest,_

_'' Draco—''_

_'' Shhh...'' He whispered again, '' It's alright, just breathe.''_

_" You're always safe with me, Amelie."_

_And she was. Her head fell against his chest as she dragged her knees up, fully giving herself to the boy holding her._

_This was a painful moment for her as she realized what Draco had done in his past. That cruel, vicious act that he was capable of should be the cue for a sane person to leave — to not get more involved in the darkness she knew surrounded him,_

_But not for Amelie._

_She felt his pain. She felt the weight of his heavy heart, and all she wanted to do — was to fix it._

____________

Her head shook at the remembrance of that night and how she missed being held in his protective arms. Even if she knew that it was real — that she was allowed to enter his mind when he searched hers, 

It didn't feel real. It felt more than far away to her. 

It felt to her as if she was falling in love with a memory. 

She tried to keep her mind in check, to not let it flee to the blonde boy her skin craved, but it hurt. 

It truly did. 

Because it was always her, waiting for him. 

Amelie forced herself off the bench, taking strides over the wooden deck, '' Let's not talk about him anymore." She smiled, heroically,

'' But what about my mother?'' Amelie kept her smile as she jumped down the stairs, strolling over the gravel-covered ground, 

'' You said that you were thinking about my mother?'' 

She bent down as she picked the book she had left on the dried-up grass before walking closer to her best friend again. 

'' I did—'' Theodore said, placing his hand in his lap as he fiddled with the edge of his shirt, '' I mean, I wanted to ask you how you were doing with that.'' 

'' With what?'' She stepped up the stairs again, looking curiously at Theo, '' With my mother?'' 

'' Yes—'' He held, watching as she slipped down next to him again, '' You haven't said anything about your mother.'' 

With the book firmly hugged to her chest, she looked up at him, '' What is there to say? She's alive. She's alive, and she left me when she knew what my father was capable of.'' 

Amelie was never the one to hold a grudge. She wasn't the one to be angry — to keep hate towards another soul, but she did now. 

She couldn't in a million years understand why her mother had left her in the way she did; why she would leave her daughter with the monster, her father tended to be. 

And Amelie was livid with that — that her mother had abandoned her in her gravest time in need. 

But as the faithful, humane soul Amelie lived to be, there was still a glimpse of hope burning within. 

A little dream that she had a reason for leaving, that her mother didn't abandon her without cause. 

'' But Amelie—'' Theo called out for her, sinking down in his position to rest his head on her shoulder, '' I know this is hard for you, but I think we need to find out why she left. I think we need to figure all of this out before we jump to any conclusions.'' 

And how right he was. He was more than right. 

She should be able to give her mother the benefit of the doubt and not level her with the thoughts of loath she held. 

'' How are we supposed to do that?'' Amelie asked her friend, '' How are we supposed to find anything — I can't search minds, and neither can you. Only Draco was able to do that.'' 

A timid smile grew upon his lips as he jolted off his chair, '' No, but I have my herbs, and we have magic, Amelie.'' 

'' But I don't have my wand. Draco still has it.'' Amelie's sight fell over his best friend before hitting the ground, and once again, she felt hopeless in such a doing, 

'' You don't need your wand, love. Take mine.'' Theodore stretched his hand for her to take, sending her a trustful look as he almost started to chuckle at the sight of her hat — how it nearly hung in her eyes at this point, 

'' Are you sure about this?'' She asked him again, holding her breath as the evening sun lowered between the mountain tops, '' I mean — do you think this might work?'' 

'' We need to find your mother before anyone else does, Amelie.'' 

He was more than happy to finally being able to use his talent within healing to try and help the girl before him, as she looked at him with a glance of hope in her eyes. 

This was the first time she had looked hopeful in days, 

'' We need to at least try, don't you think?'' Theodore mumbled, still with his hand reaching out in the air, 

'' We do.'' Amelie nodded, taking his hand as he pulled her after him — into the warmth safety of the cabin, 

'' Then let's get to work.'' 


	29. T w e n t y - e i g h t ,

**Draco Malfoy,**

His eyes prickled in tears as he looked down at the bounded piece of paper. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this, to violate Amelie's privacy, to read the thoughts she had of him as he kept her locked in this room.

He was remorseful. He regretted the truth of him treating her so badly — that he had made her scared of him.

The scenarios in his head flickered in all the different ways he could've handled it — how differently he could've handled her.

Still, she always came to his rescue. Even if she held a feeling of fright for him and everything he had done, she would still be here,

His eyes fell over the first page as he pushed himself off the bed, taking long strides up to the wall she used to slip down against,

He did the same thing. He slipped down the wall, next to the door, before dragging his knees up to his chest,

His arms were held tightly around his legs as he sucked in a harsh breath to see all the vicious things she thought about him.

**Day 4,**

_I heard him again last night._

_I heard him scream and shout in the middle of the night. It woke me up just like the last time._

_I feel like it's nightmares, similar to the ones I have,_

_The kind that wakes you up with a gasp. The kind that makes your chest feel so heavy. The kind that makes you sweat out of fear. The worst kind._

_He locked me in here._

_He lied to me. He broke my trust, and still, all I want to do is help him, just like my mother helped me._

_I want to pull him into my arms, have his head on my chest as I hum into his skin,_

_I think that would help him. I think he would feel better with himself if he let me do that, and I wanted to ask him too. I really did, but he doesn't speak to me._

_I feel like I had done something wrong like he's mad at me for some reason when all I honestly wanted to do was to get to know him,_

_To help ease his pain in the same way he eased mine._

___________

Draco looked up from the pages, from the words she had written, and he felt his blood fume.

His insides wrenched as he sought to swallow the pain.

He felt guilty, at fault for all of this.

How could he be so heartless, so cruel to someone so pure?

Even when he hurt her, when she realized that he had lied to her, when he kept her locked up against her will — she still wanted to help him, to save him from himself.

Draco's head tilted back to the wall, and a loud noise came after it as he slammed the back of his head against it again.

He was mad — furious with himself as he groaned at the pain flashing within his mind.

But he needed to keep going. He needed to find Amelie and to fix all of the mistakes ha had brought upon her.

**Flashback to a night in the Malfoy Manor,**

_Draco tossed and turned in his bed as he tried to comfort himself back to sleep. He had woken up by her screaming again._

_She screamed a lot in her sleep, and every time she did — he wanted to relieve her. He needed to ease her pain,_

_But he couldn't._

_He refused to touch her without her consent. He didn't want to do that to her. He didn't want her to feel another person's hands on her that she didn't wish for._

_She had been through enough — she had felt unwanted touches on her, beasts praying on her pure skin, and he would never supply to that._

_Draco shoved his hand underneath his pillow, pressing it hard against his ear as he pulled his cover over his head — all to not hear her whimper at the dreams flooding through her mind as she slept,_

_This night was different. She usually woke up or calmed herself after a few minutes — but not now._

_Now she kept on screaming, almost as if she believed to be hurt in reality and not in the world of imagination._

_He flinched. His face twisted. His insides wrenched at the sound of her broken tones — her voice kept cracking in torture._

_This was torture — to him, this was worse than anything he had ever gone through. To hear her hurt but not have the strength to help her._

_Another heart-wrenching shout left her lips as he shot up from his bed, and in nothing more than his night-pants, he stormed out of his room in the direction of hers._

_With his wand in his hand, he twitched his wrist, making the door click open — and he shoved it wide, carefully so she wouldn't wake up,_

_And there she was — shaking in her sleep, her whole body trembled as he silently stepped closer to the bed,_

_Amelie looked so at peace yet so haunted._

_Her hair spilled graciously over her shoulder as her chest rose and fell violently beneath the white sheets — he couldn't drag his eyes off of her._

_He watched her for minutes as drops of sweat rolled down her forehead, as her breaths lightly ragged in her throat, and her skin shivered._

_He wanted to hold her. He wanted to calm her down — to ease her pain._

_But he didn't dare to. The situation he found himself in scared him as much as her nightmares frightened her._

_She whimpered yet again, and he couldn't do anything — he had to help her._

_He gently lifted the end of her cover before slowly slipping under the sheets, but the instant his cold touch rubbed against her warm skin — he froze._

_He didn't move a muscle. He simply laid there, next to her, on complete edge to what he was supposed to do next._

_Amelie shifted in her position, her head fell to the side as her body followed, and in her unconscious state, she buried her face into his chest,_

_Draco stared down at her through the moonlight in a fusion of fright and hush._

_Her breaths fanned against his pale skin, her nose softly stroke against it, and he found himself not regretting this scenario._

_He realized that by this effortless, chain-free touch he brought her — she had stopped crying, and it felt good._

_It felt soothing as he pushed an arm underneath her neck, against the little area between her shoulders and the pillow she rested on, and he smoothly pulled her inches closer to him,_

_Draco dragged her in, right to where he needed her, closing the longing space of pain between them as his chin rested on her head,_

_" You're always safe with me, Amelie." He whispered into her hair._

_His eyes sealed, his breaths steady. He knew that he had to sneak out of there before her mind clocked back to being — before she woke up,_

_But he felt as if he could do this again, as if he could get used to this, to feel her skin on his, her breaths against his chest as she rested heavily,_

_She was safe here, and even in her sleep — she knew that._

______

**Day 5,**

_He let me hold him yesterday, even if it only was for a short moment._

_It felt good, doing something good for someone and not just sitting here doing nothing._

_Even if he got mad at me again. It was worth it because somewhere deep down under all that hate and pain I recognize,_

_The kind, gentle boy, still lives, and I hope to see him again,_

_He didn't even come to give me my meals today. He stayed clear of me and let the house-elves take care of that,_

_I talked to this little house-elf, he was similar to the elf that lived with us at home, and the kind manners of him reminded me of my best friend,_

_Teddy._

_I miss Theodore._

_I miss my Teddy so much that I might break. I had never been apart from him more than a day or two before, but this._

_This was torture._

_Missing him was worse than being locked in here._

_All I want to do is to bury my head in his warm chest and feel his arms around me._

_I want him to tell me what to do because I don't know anything anymore._

_I am supposed to be in school. I am supposed to be with Adrian and sneaking around with Teddy. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't want to be here._

__________

It was as if his heart had been torn in two.

She hated him, at least that's what he believed. That she hated him.

Draco pushed himself off the floor, looking over the mess of books and glass that shredded on the ground from when he had searched her room.

His hand flew to the collar of his shirt as the tips of his fingers tugged at his tie in attempts to loosen it — he sensed the panic growing within.

Draco had never hated himself more than he did now.

Never.

He had never been more disappointed. He remembered the night he was breaking down in front of her like it was yesterday and not many weeks ago,

He remembered how her arms clung around him to hold him closer than ever, to ease his pain in a way she believed he eased hers.

It hurt. Thinking about how much he must have troubled her as he stormed out, but what she didn't know was that it pained him too. It tortured him to leave her in the belief that she was in the wrong.

He never meant to do that, but she provoked something in him.

Something human, something sensitive, and Draco as the dark, haunted boy he believed himself to be — he wasn't ready to feel the gentleness she brought out of him,

His head shook as he leaned against the window, his shoulder felt heavy against the wood as his chest ached,

But once again, he needed to keep going.

**Day 6.**

_I'm scared._

_I'm scared for my safety here, and I'm scared for his._

_I know that Adrian is looking for me because he would never let me go that easily._

_I almost feel like this is a part of some big plan. That they all are working against me._

_But that's probably my mind playing tricks on me. I read that it could be like that if you were to be kept in the same space for too long._

_And another thing that has come to mind here is how much I miss the sun. I never thought it would be possible to miss the sun as much as I do today._

_Theodore is like the sun. Happy, mellow, the strokes of him heats your heart, just like the scent of honey. God, I love how he scented like honey, but when it starts to get cold, when you begin to freeze — you miss the warmth more than terribly._

_And today, today I do._

________

Draco sucked in a harsh breath in between his teeth, his jaws gritted as he noticed that there wasn't a day 7 or 8.

The numbers were there — but the only thing covering the pages was dried stains of tears.

She had cried.

She cried instead of writing those days, and he never knew because she never cried in front of him.

Amelie always showed a brave face — a courageous smile as he came to bring her for her sessions. He didn't know she was hurting.

And now, it was too late for him to comfort her. He would've. He would always have comforted her — if he only knew how much she was breaking.

She broke entirely at the tips of his fingers but was still valiant enough to hold it inside, to not show how her life crumbled in the chains of his magic.

**Day 9.**

_Draco has been searching my mind for days, and to be honest with myself,_

_I don't know for how long I will be able to stand this._

_Every time the light of his mind reaches mine, it's like I can't breathe._

_I am allowed a piece of Draco that I'm not even certain he knows I'm able to see._

_He's hurting. His mind is more tortured than mine has ever been. I could see that._

_I could see how he hated himself and not just parts of himself as a normal person would do._

_He loathed everything, every single thing of himself, and that broke me._

_It broke me more than he did, more than my father or Adrian ever did._

_I feel for Draco, in a way I can't begin to understand._

_Perhaps it's the way his mind works, how cruel and evil he makes himself look, but how kind and broken he truly is._

_I don't know what, but something about that blonde boy made me feel warm, cared for, even if he did everything possible for me to hate him,_

_After he gave me that necklace in the bathroom, I did._

_I did hate him, or at least I tried to._

_But somewhere along the line, I couldn't keep it up because I knew he needed me almost as much as I seemed to need him._

___________

Draco threw the book across the room as his face twitched into a grimace. He did everything possible not to cry — to not let one single tear out,

But to no use.

A clear, biting tear rolled down his drained cheek. It stung. It hurt him as if it was crowded with emotion, and he didn't wipe it away.

The tones of his ashen skin faded even more as he let the drop of salty liquid fall, just like everything else around him did.

His life crumbled around her, at the edge of her mercy, but if anyone deserved his tears, if anyone deserved his vulnerable, unshielded self — it was her.

His hands flew to the window ledge, his fingers gripped around the marble as he leaned over it, staring out over the grey, cloudy world, cursing to himself beneath his breath,

_'' Stupid, stupid, stupid—''_

His knuckles collided roughly with the wall next to him, over and over and over again. Blood shredded all over his shirt, all over his arms, all over the dark mark still inked into his skin, his hair,

All over — but that was nothing in comparison to how his heart shattered.

How he shattered.

Draco had no chance of controlling himself anymore — he felt as his chest closed in on him, how his vessels tightened and the sweat flooded down his neck.

He panicked completely.

He didn't know what to do anymore because she saw everything.

She had watched his mind when he was supposed to search hers.

She saw it all — every mistake, every cruel act, every time he had brought harm upon another human.

Amelie knew him — he was exposed to her in a way he had never been to another soul.

She knew how much he loathed himself, how much he wanted this hell of a life to come to a miserable end.

How he tried to take his own life.

And it broke her, just like he did.

He let out a loud sigh, scratching his bleeding hand against the fabric of his shirt before he shoed over the messy floor, hunching down to pick the diary back up.

_______


	30. T w e n t y - n i n e,

**Draco Malfoy,**

**Day 10.**

_I feel lost, but at the same time happy, does that even make sense?_

_It's as if I am lost in my happiness, like I can't tell the difference between when I should be sad and when I should be happy._

_Or even mad._

_I think I should be mad. That's the reasonable thing to be._

_To be mad._

_But I can't be mad. I don't want to._

_I just want to hold him. I wish to save and heal him._

_I remember the night he showed me his scars like it was yesterday. That's the first time he had been vulnerable with me. The first time he let me see something human inside him._

_I should be happy that he has come so far, that he keeps showing me his true self._

_But why can't I stop crying?_

________

Draco let out a shaky breath as he thought of that night.

He had forgotten about that. That he once exposed himself to her, only to save her from hurting herself.

**Flashback to that night,**

_She felt a wave of doubt lingering as Draco's face turned cold, " Why would you do that for me? Why would you help me? You don't even know—"_

_" What?" He snapped again, hewing her tell off as he took a boot closer, " What don't I know?"_

_He rose a brow as she silently stood frozen before him. She didn't dare to move a muscle — she was scared._

_He shook his head, huffing annoyingly, " Do you think that you're the only one whose father lectures you, Amelie?"_

_The words leaving his trembling lips caused her heart to ache, even if she was afraid, frightened — she couldn't help but feel for him._

_" Don't you think I know how it feels when the cigar burns through your skin?"_

_His pearly eyes still tore through hers, '' How you scream within when he forces it further because you don't dare to open your mouth,''_

_He had been through this._

_" How every punch, every slap, every forbidden spell hurts a little less over time.'' He kept pushing as she swallowed, staring back at him._

_" Don't you think I know that?" He hissed, teeth gritted, " Because I do. I do know that, but the difference is that I learned how to manage the pain, Amelie, and so should you because this won't stop until you make it stop."_

_Draco stood close to her, usually too close for comfort, as she searched his eyes only to see the honesty rip through them like the wind at a mighty sea,_

_He was broken._

_He fated the same variety as she was._

_And she never knew._

_" You have to make it stop, Amelie," Draco nearly shouted, a dark chuckle escaped the back of his throat, " Or you'll end up like this,"_

_Draco caught a step back, slowly unbuttoning his shirt,_

_Her eyes grew wide with each button. Her breaths missed her as she stared at the marks fixed in his skin, the pale porcelain skin — ruptured by faded scars, all over,_

_Cuts of knives._

_Bruises of belts._

_Burns of cigars._

_All faded into a beautiful mess over his ashen skin._

_She felt her eyes pool, stars glinting behind her eyelids. The guilt formed a lump in the back of her throat,_

_''Draco—'' Amelie choked out, '' Draco. I didn't—''_

_She tried to force her eyes off him. To not engage more in the broken boy before her, but she couldn't._

_She needed to watch the truth in front of her,_

_He knew the pain. He knew her pain, and she knew his._

_" You see, Amelie—," He cleared his throat, " You're not the only one,"_

_Draco buttoned his shirt back up before straightening his black suit jacket,_

_" I don't know how Adrian treats you, but this—" He seethed as he grabbed her arm in a swift move, bending it up in between them for a better view,_

_'' This is not the answer.'' Draco dropped her wrist, and for a brief second, his eyes matched hers again and all the pain that came with it._

_'' Trust me.''_

_____

He swallowed the mass blocking his airways. He couldn't think about this anymore. He couldn't let his weighty heart give in to his heavy mind.

She clouded everything for him at this point, and he needed to keep going.

His fingers fiddled with the pages, turning to a new one as his veins flushed in pain — there wasn't a day 11.

Draco stared out over the empty room, trying to remember what could've happened the night she decided not to write,

And when it came to mind that it was the night he had kissed her — his eyes shut close, his breaths hitched as another wave of tears burned in the corner of his eyes.

He placed the truth of that he never told her what his favorite book was. She asked him, and he refused to tell her — why was he so incredibly stubborn?

Why didn't he just tell her?

His head shook again, his hands clenched around the spine of the book,

**Flashback to that night,**

_'' Did you find what you were looking for?'' Draco muttered as Amelie shot him a kind stare, studying him as his elbow placed on the armrest, his chin rested in the palm of his hand,_

_'' I did,'' She gently dropped down next to him with the book glued to her hand, '' Can I read you something?''_

_Draco looked shocked, almost agonized as he slightly nodded, ''Certainly,''_

_Amelie doubted herself at first, not knowing if she held the bravery to do what she wanted to do, to let her head fall onto his lap, just like Theodore always rested his head on hers._

_Her eyes shut closed. Her breath hitched as a grimace shredded her features. Her head felt heavy on his thighs, feeling how his entire body tensed at her doings,_

_She dragged her knees up to the backrest of the furniture as she shifted around, looking up at him from below,_

_'' Is this alright?'' Amelie hushed, making his brows furrowed, his hands nervously fiddling with his rings,_

_'' Hm,'' He hummed, biting his own tongue from ruining this moment._

_She sucked a harsh breath in, raising the book over her chest as she searched to find the page she needed,_

_'' Here—,'' She called out, '' Okay, are you ready?''_

_'' What greater punishment is there than life when you've lost everything that made it worth living?''_

_Draco froze completely as she peered up at him, his teeth clasped, his nostrils flaring._

_He didn't know what to say or what to do — she made him nervous with the quote she just read to him,_

_'' Have you ever felt that way for anyone, Draco?'' She asked, lowering the book to let it rest on her chest,_

_'' No,'' He spoke, severely, '' I don't get those type of feelings,''_

_She jolted up from her laying position, her legs over his as he cringed at the sudden move, '' What? Are you telling me that you have never been in love?''_

_Amelie's face sunk in question as her nerves ached at the look of his numb eyes — he hadn't._

_He had never been in love. He had never cared for another person in the way you always dreamed of doing — he was alone, lonely in his misery._

_'' No,''_

_Her head tilted as she sought to read the cold, mysterious boy in front of her, '' Have you ever cared for anyone?''_

_''No,''_

_''Do you want to care for someone?''_

_Her pushing made him snap his head to level hers, his heart pounded hard within, '' No,''_

_She felt the twisting feeling inside. The sinking sensation wavered her as his lips parted again — but not a word fled them._

_The tension thickened as he leaned closer to her. His cold hand put pressure on her lower back, almost urging her to move forward, and she did._

_She pushed herself onto him until she was straddling him on the sofa._

_''But I do,'' Draco breathed out, his nose brushed against hers, and that made her breaths flutter, the kind, gentle heart she possessed hammered out of control in her chest._

_'' I do care for someone,''_

_The corner of her mouth twitched as her hands moved slowly over his arms before she tangled her fingers together behind his neck,_

_The tips of her fingers played with the soft strands of his hair, '' You do?''_

_He looked at her — in a way no one had ever looked at her before, it was as if he could see all of her, as if he wished to see more,_

_Draco's arms clung tighter around her as he pulled her just an inch closer, '' I do.''_

_And without another thought shared between the two broken souls they tended to be,_

_Amelie's lips collided with his._

________

It stung in his chest — his lips ached at the missing of her sweet, soft taste against them.

How could it hurt so much? How could she make him break so much just out of the thought of her memory?

Draco peeled his eyes open, once again staring down at the pages she had written so beautifully,

**Day 12,**

_I did it again yesterday and again and again._

_Draco hasn't been here for days, just like the last time he got mad at me, but I believe he left home altogether this time. I couldn't hear his screams in the early morning or his steps hovering outside at dusk,_

_He simply left, and I was all to blame._

_Narcissa kindly took after his act to bring me meals and new books to read, she even asked me if I wanted to join her for dinner downstairs last night, and I did._

_I believe that she's lonely, that the absence of her husband and the continuance of Draco needing to serve the dark lord leaves her behind, nearly forgotten,_

_I enjoy her very much. She has always been so kind to me, even before all of this happened before Draco brought me here._

_She told me more about him. She filled in some of the blank spots of knowing when it comes to him, her blonde-haired son._

_But even if she tried to open up as much as she knew how it wasn't enough._

_I know it will never be enough, and I know that I may never know him in the way I wish to do, but for now, it has to do._

_If anything, I know how hard it is to let someone in, to let someone have a piece of you, to allow another soul to search yours, and I let him,_

_I did._

_And now, I just hope that he will let me in as I let him in._

__________

He would. He would do anything if it meant that she never harmed herself in any way — ever again.

Even if it meant that he would have to let her within the hardened cages of his feelings, even if he would have to be honest to her about himself — he would,

Draco felt a burning urge whip throughout him as he stared down at his hands, where the book was placed, and there was just one day left,

One day of words remained, and if those letters couldn't tell him where she was — he would lose his mind completely.

Draco was almost scared, what if she never wrote anything — what if he would never find her again, and all of this would've gone to waste,

Because she was everywhere, except right here with him.

**Day 13.**

_Today I'm happy, and I don't know why._

_I just feel like things might be alright after all. That some things might turn for the better for me._

_I miss Teddy more than ever today._

_I was sitting on the ledge to my window earlier, with the glass slightly cracked open, and I felt the wind, and somewhere, it just felt as if he was here with me._

_It reminded me of the times we used to sneak out of that little cabin._

_In the early mornings, we used to run out of the house and sprint our way down to the lake without anyone knowing._

_I miss those times. I miss the cabin. I miss Teddy. I miss his father and my mother. I miss it all_ —

_______

His head shot up. His grey eyes narrowed at the door in front of him as his mind spun,

The cabin.

_______


End file.
